The minions of the Burning Hells have quite a few tricks up their sleeves to toy with the residents of Sanctuary. Some are fond of tactics that set the ground ablaze, while others prefer to teleport around or create mirrors of themselves with cunning illusions. These skills are not only formidable against in-game characters, but we imagine that many of them would also prove useful if not thoroughly entertaining in real life. (Just think about the kinds of party tricks you could pull off with a well-placed vortex or wall. Even the seven Great Evils would be impressed!)
So: If you could have any monster affix in real life, which would you choose? And what would you use it for?
There are quite a few monster affixes (i.e. unique monster powers) that you're likely to encounter in Diablo III, so make sure to pour over this complete list for the one affix that you would choose to possess in our mortal realm.