Diablo® III

If monsters had their own forum...

What would they be talking about? Few possible topics come to my mind would be:

- complaining about a nuisance of echoing fury fear procs
- discussion about how to deal with perma freeze wizs
- elite monsters gives advice to white monsters
- best elite affix combo discussion

What you guys think? ;)
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MVP - Diablo III
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"Nerf life steal."

"Nerf crowd control."

"Nerf dodge."

"Remove EHP."

"Cap DPS."

"Nerf movement speed."

"Do not drop loot on death."
________________________________________________
Diablo III MVP | Forever a Wizard
Archon Video Guide: http://us.battle.net/d3/en/forum/topic/9793089550
The Ninja Wizard: http://youtu.be/2Rz3eFycavk
Twitter: @Jaetch
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How hard of a time they're having on MP0.
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"How to use Treasure Goblins to distract players."

"Theorycrafting: Affix Choices and Combinations"
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10/17/2013 11:38 AMPosted by Jaetch
"Do not drop loot on death."


Brilliant.

10/17/2013 11:39 AMPosted by silverfire
How hard of a time they're having on MP0.


Excellent.
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"Kill the Demon Hunter Last"
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QQing that fallen maniacs can no longer be elite.

Asking for invulnerable minions back.
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10/17/2013 11:44 AMPosted by Ossian
"Kill the Demon Hunter Last"


Laughed so hard, my face hurt. :o
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MVP - Diablo III
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"Heroes LS too OP, please buff Vampiric affix."

"Bug Report: Cannot become elite Woodwraith."

"REMOVE RD GRAPHICS: TOO OBVIOUS."

"Let us hide inside treasure chests, pls."

"Petition to bring back enrage timers and auto heal."
________________________________________________
Diablo III MVP | Forever a Wizard
Archon Video Guide: http://us.battle.net/d3/en/forum/topic/9793089550
The Ninja Wizard: http://youtu.be/2Rz3eFycavk
Twitter: @Jaetch
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"Let us equip our loot"
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One Fallen to another:

F1: how many times have you died today?
F2: 3 times. You?
F1: I died about 3 weeks ago. Shaman was in his way to Rez me but servers went down for maintenance.
F2: ouch.
F1: tell me about it. Server comes up, and I'm randomly spawned (still dead, mind you) in that drop off point in the black canyon mines where nothing ever goes or happens. A shaman was just about to Rez me when a bunch of CM wizards showed up.
F2: uh oh...
F1: believe it or not, they went the other way...but because of their stupid spamming, it took him an hour to make his way over to my corpse. Ping was like 2k.
Hulking Phasebeast: Walking is pedestrian. L2teleport.
F1: aww come on man you're not even in the same act as me!
F2: don't feed the troll beast...
Hulking Phasebeast: don't make me get my friends up in here...
F1: lemme guess...your "friends" are just YOU coming in from a different direction..amirite?
Hulking Phasebeast: ... yeah
F1: Nailed it!
Azmodan: Wtf are you guys lounging around for? The nephalem are destroying our defenses!
F1: yeah...see here's the thing "Azmodung". I don't work for you. I'm a blue fallen. Blue= belial. Take it up with my boss.
Azmodan: oops. My bad dude.
F1: no worries. By the way, I love what you've done with the arreat crater. It's hot.
Azmodan: Thanks man. I put a lotta work into it.
F2: I see what you did there, F1. "Hot". Lolz
Belial: what is the meaning of this? You are supposed to be working!
F1: and you're supposed to provide me with ample resurrectors. But do you have any idea how long I was dead for??
Belial: uh...no...how long?
F1: too long! You need to step up your monster screening process. I'm lucky to be alive.
Belial: my bad....I'll look into it.

Something like this?
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10/17/2013 11:49 AMPosted by Jaetch
"REMOVE RD GRAPHICS: TOO OBVIOUS."


Jaetch is too good at this.
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"Buff Treasure Drops In Act 4. Signed, Act 1 Monsters"
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There was a hilarious thread in GD from a monsters point of view a few months back. Whined about all the nerfs to them. All great items blizzard gives us etc.
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Server comes up, and I'm randomly spawned (still dead, mind you) in that drop off point in the black canyon mines where nothing ever goes or happens. A shaman was just about to Rez me when a bunch of CM wizards showed up.


Oh yeah, does anyone ever go there?
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@Blizzard: NERF NEPHILIM!

--
Blizzard owes you nothing!!
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Hi fellow mobs! I'm an MP10 HC rare Morlu Incinerator camping out in A4 spire level 2. I'm super evil and I hate Nephalem and all I want to do is burn them and devour their scorched flesh. I want to make them feel agony until their death.

I'm currently running an illusionist/knochback/plague/arcane build that seems like it would be pretty effective. I can teleport around and cover the screen in plague and sentries. I've got my illusions and minions to tank for me while I kick back and drop bombs on fools. Plus I can knock them halfway across the screen if they do get too close. That means they gotta walk through all my bombs and plagues to get back to me.

I use a Terror Demon as my follower to basically prevent most of the Nephalem's healing. Even if the TD dies, at least his curse should stay up for a while. Which would be useful...

The problem is this: no Nephalems come up here. Shouldn't MP10 A4 HC be the top challenge? I was posting in the SC Morlu forum and they get Nephalems up there all the time. Testing their "mettle" lol. I'm HC 4 lyfe, not interested in fighting little Napoleon complex softcore wimps wearing their gg gear. I refuse to drop down to MP3, I have the EHP and DPS required to camp here in MP10, so this is where Big D assigned me.

The next time one of you guys see a Nephalem, can you give him/her a message for me?

Where are you, you little coward? I'm waiting up here, but I don't see you. You talk like a tough guy but I don't see you up here.

Where are you, you spoiled little brat? I'm going to get dementia or die of old age before I see you up here. We'll drop the gloves and brawl.

Where are you, you sniveling little child? You are too afraid to face me, that's where. Well, I got news for you, Nephalem. You don't have the spirit stones to come up here and face me. I'm going to rip out your entrails and boil your blood in your body cavity and you know it. I'm waiting, Nephalem.

-Lawrence the Morlu


If you could say all that stuff in your best WWF Ultimate Warrior and/or Hulk Hogan voice, that would add a lot to the intimidation factor I think. Thx mobs! Mob community is teh best community!
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how to put more monsters in barrels

/thread
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MVP - Diablo III
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ChangBooster wins forever.
________________________________________________
Diablo III MVP | Forever a Wizard
Archon Video Guide: http://us.battle.net/d3/en/forum/topic/9793089550
The Ninja Wizard: http://youtu.be/2Rz3eFycavk
Twitter: @Jaetch
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ChangBooster wins forever.
________________________________________________
Diablo III MVP | Forever a Wizard
Archon Video Guide: http://us.battle.net/d3/en/forum/topic/9793089550
The Ninja Wizard: http://youtu.be/2Rz3eFycavk
Twitter: @Jaetch

No...he got it completely backwards.

For the mobs, MP10 is easy mode, MP0 is their hard mode. (Since their hp and damage output are handicapped)

Same for HC vs SC. HC is their easy mode because their enemies (us) don't respawn. SC is like 1.00-1.02 era for them, but even worse. Even if they kill us, we come back.

MP10 HC is their carebear mode, where their hp and DPS are buffed, and they rarely encounter any enemies, and if they kill their enemies, their enemies die for good. MP0 softcore is their hard mode, where their hp and DPS are gimped heavily and their enemies constantly respawn even if they are killed.
Edited by silverfire#1855 on 10/17/2013 2:25 PM PDT
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