Diablo® III

If monsters had their own forum...

((Class being Unbalanced Thread)
Skeleton - "Dude why don't have a chance to get resurrection? im a dang skeleton?"
Skeletal Summoner - " hey man i was just wondering the same thing. but i spawn 3-4 or you guys but just doesnt seem to help"
Skeleton King - "Why are you both Complaining, i spawn 5 or 6 of you guys at a time and i can always spawn more?"
Skeleton - "When you do that and we die we just drop heal global's for them, that we can't pick them up so the Nephalem heal up and proceed to kick you in your rotted teeth"
Zombie - "Me WANT BRAIN!!"
Skeleton King " why the world is he in here?"
Skeleton - "don't feed the zombies"
Skeleton King - "I See, ill take this to blizzard and see what i can do"

(Classes being Unbalanced Thread)
Skeleton Archers - " why dont i do element damages, i mean come on i cant do cold arrows or fire arrows? i mean i find this completely irrational. i had to jump to a higher mp level to get my dps n health up to stand a chance against these guys? what gives?"
Skeletal Shieldman - "well if you would just let me tank i we would be fine..."
Skeleton Archers - "well if you shield actually blocked spells, n you quit dropping your shield and we might have a chance."
Skeletal Shieldman - "well you see here the problem... with the game mechanics right now i cant pick it back up even if i did drop it"

(Looking in the Future Threads)
Fallen One, "so did you guys here that there gonna allow them to travel all over the acts and allow them to have a chance to kill us all off when they choose?"
Shaman " there also gonna being nerfing the barbs ww zerk mode, n archon wizards"
Fallen One - "dude what about cm wizards? i hate being frozen?"

(Look Back In the Passed Thread)
Ghom, " ahhh back in the days when the game frist came out i was unstoppable, unless they just stacked poison resist, man that made me mad"
Fallen One, Yah i remember being in act 2 and just rofl stomping those noobs
Zombie - "Brains!"
Sand Wasp "dude everyone feared me, it was great times to be had, i miss those days"

(Zombie Gearing Post)
Zombie 1 - So I was think of getting some brains, unlike everyone just eatting brains, i choose my brains and this brain matter is great, i feel like eatting more brains
Zombie 2 - I disagree with you chooses of brains i like my brains
Zombie 1 - No Brain is the best there all good in each situation
Zombie 2 - haha Brains
Fallen One - Wow, they really like there brains..

(Elite Post)
Scavenger, so a group of us were was sitting in act 1, minding my own business eating some flesh of a villager we just killed, and all of a sudden this this glowing ball just kills one of friends, and i see this wizard, man, she was about to ballistic on me until i got her trapped in a wall, soo great when we froze her in place and dropped plagues n designate right underneath her. then became unstuck and we just borrowed underground and just jumping her, she didn't know what to do.
soo in this case i build around that with my group, id like to see what other builds of skills you monster used to combat the other classes n what not
Mallet Lord - "Smash Crash Bash, o Frozen, Jailer, Reflect, Mortar, with the Succubus' at my side i fear nothing "
Zombie - "BRAINS!!!"

Please Remember
To Not Feed the Trolls or Zombies on the internet
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%30 would have quit after invulnerable minions was nerfed.
%40 would have quit after reflect damage was nerfed.
Half of the remaining minority of monsters would be talking about how they should all have different auras that stack when they get close together like in D2.
The other half would be saying : "real monsters adapt to changes".
Edited by Vencenzo#1510 on 10/17/2013 7:26 PM PDT
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"I'm sick of getting killed over and over"
"Nephalem should be nerfed"
"Stop giving them Legendaries guys!"
"Blizzard.... NO MORE NERFS TO US"
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Please give us Critical Hit Damage.
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Wouldn't it be fun? instead of PVP, give players the choice to take control of monsters or elite packs in the game to fight against Nephalems and they are able to control them just like how you play Starcraft 2.

If you know about the Left4Dead game that game allowed players to play as zombies to fight against human which can be fun.
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Hungry Torso: blizz, buff us please, with legs :D
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You know, those darned Nephalem, they come in here get us all riled up and then proceed to kill us and take our stuff! A mugging, plain and simple. And they call us monsters?!? A little context would be nice.
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New topic : Please rate the fallen maniac above you. :p

Guybrush : Crappy build and item selection. Call me old fashion but I don't see the point to have gear equipped when you explode onto the player face. You might want to check this informative strategy video to improve your play style : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJNR2EpS0jw
Edited by Guybrush#2456 on 10/18/2013 2:30 AM PDT
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Diablo: "I'm the Lord of Hell...why are elites and champions more difficult them me?"
Champion: "I can kill Nephalem and you can't!"
Diablo: "Don't make me hurt you!"
Edited by Gares#1257 on 10/18/2013 4:19 AM PDT
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Zoltun Kulle : "This game needs dynamic story options. The players would have followed me if you let them. I'm quiting to go be a NPC for Never winter nights."
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Effing hilarious thread :)
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10/18/2013 04:41 AMPosted by Vencenzo
Zoltun Kulle : "This game needs dynamic story options. The players would have followed me if you let them. I'm quiting to go be a NPC for Never winter nights."

I would have gone with him and got some revenge for those self righteous angels taking away our birthright by changing the worldstone!
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10/17/2013 02:11 PMPosted by Jaetch
ChangBooster wins forever.

10/17/2013 03:35 PMPosted by Melkor
Booster makes me lol irl


CB throwin' down! Love it Chang! Too good... I don't wanna even...

"Camping Shrines, is it worth it?""Dhalgur Oasis: Best vacation spot ever?""Screenies from my trip to Caldeum Bazaar!""Adria's Guide to Deceiving Heroes and Raising Hell"

Excellent Blue-dawg! good show, good show...

My effort...

glowsticks/kriegnoobie/kaho/vox/rasalgethi/athena/kiza/pichapie... Mass Monster Murderers??? Genocidal Maniacs??? discuss...
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"Guide: How to effectively induce more lag in HC"
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Q&A with monsters:

Originally not Posted by Blizzard

I'm a Skeletal Bowmaster in Inferno MP 4. I'm part of a vortex, arcane and fire enchanted rare group. Since the introduction of Demonic Essence many Nephalem only want to fight our rare boss to get a chance for the DE drop. Nine times in a row I did not even had a chance to shoot an arrow.

We are aware of this problem and are trying to address this issue with the upcoming expansion pack. With loot runs in mind Nephalems will get rewards from killing full packs of champions.

If my rare boss gets killed will I be allowed to roll new affixes? It is frustrating to wait days or weeks for a new rare boss or fellow white mobs with the matching kind of affixes. I think this kind of forced party play is not rewarding. With the expansion in mind will you address issues related to monster downtime?

We agree that monster downtime is a big issue. But many monsters worked hard to get the affixes they wanted. We need to find a balanced solution no matter if you are a Mallet Lord or a Spike Find. With RoS we will allow monster to scale with different MP's and difficulties! If you are a normal MP3 Skeletal Archer in your next mission you could be a MP10 Archer in Inferno!

The game itself is not balanced or rewarding. My fellow Clan mate Bon3Bro killed a Nephalem in Hardcore. He got no loot and no experience. Even I as a experienced monster only saw two Nephalems since the attack of tristram. The data speaks for itself. There are Nephalems with over 10000 champion kills and even Belial (He streams via visions) only has around a thousand kills. To make it even better in his latest bloodcast he tells us that after killing a group Nephalems they simply reappear.

We will grant better rewards with the upcoming expansion for killing Nephalems and non Nephalem characters. And after you got killed you will keep your experience when reviewed in the pits of hell. And we know that there are good and bad spots in sanctuary for fighting Nephalems.
I'm sorry to hear that you only got to chances to fight since the attack of tristram but Nephalems tend to kill the monsters with the highest rewards. They hunt for the best weapons and Armor.

This part also makes no sense. I carry a big sword with me all the time but I can't use it. Why am I carrying it? And how am I able to do so? I'm just a quill beast and the sword is double my sice.


During an encounter with a Nephalem I tried to sneak behind him to attack him during his sleep. He whirled around for a long time but never got tired. How is it possible to stay in this excellent shape? And another problem I faced was when I tried to follow him. There was a door I simply could not get through. The door was open btw.

Don't worry. The Nephalems will lose many of their athletic abilities with the upcoming expansion. They won't be able to run as fast as now. And doors are working as intended.

During the attack of the worldstone it was possible to change your workplace with fellow clans. In the bloody foothills we often had different teams leading the siege of Harrogath. Will this flexibility return?

We are currently discussing the possibility of changing areas. We agree that every monster should have the chance to see everything in Sanctuary.

We need more Lag!

I'm sorry to tell you that Lag is not a mechanic introduced to make fights easier. It is a known problem and will be fixed.
Edited by Ignus#2482 on 10/18/2013 6:40 AM PDT
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What would they be talking about? Few possible topics come to my mind would be:

- complaining about a nuisance of echoing fury fear procs
- discussion about how to deal with perma freeze wizs
- elite monsters gives advice to white monsters
- best elite affix combo discussion

What you guys think? ;)

Hahahaha dude I love this thread, +1 for creativity and awesomeness lol...

Im pretty sure they would be crying about heros being able to just straight up ignore their damage with some skills lol....
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10/18/2013 06:30 AMPosted by Ignus
And doors are working as intended.

Lol...that was the best line ever:)
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"Is anyone else mad about this????? Blizzard, why do you make this game not fun for us?????"


"Finally!!!!! No more AHs, about tiem!!!!"
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"Bring back Jay Wilson!"
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10/18/2013 06:30 AMPosted by Ignus
This part also makes no sense. I carry a big sword with me all the time but I can't use it. Why am I carrying it? And how am I able to do so? I'm just a quill beast and the sword is double my sice.

Well-written and funny!
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