Diablo® III

If monsters had their own forum...

Azmodan: Hmmm. Belial just came online. I think I will play with him for a while. (Sends invite)
Belial: Azmodan wants to play with me? Bwahahaha. Time to put my plan into action.
(2 minutes later)
Belial: Hello Azmodan.
Azmodan: What the??? Why are you dressed as a monk?
Belial: So I can confuse and kill the nephalem.
Azmodan: Wouldn't that seem suspicious if you were with me?
Belial: (B& hammer word)
Azmodan: Not to mention, the game still sees you as their enemy even through disguises. Your hp meter will show on the top of the screen.
Belial: (B& hammer word)ing blizzard. I am taking this to the forums. This outrage against our kind needs to be addressed.
(10 minutes later)
Diablo: Hmmm, a new post by Belial. I wonder what is on his mind. . . . . . Change of design. . . . . Take away hp monitoring? What the??? Is he trying to make it harder on us?
(Diablo logs on)
Diablo: Belial, you retard. Do you know what you are asking of? If you take that away, then we will not know what attack to use and when. You think I am just going to melee the nephalem with full hp?
Belial: I am sorry man, I am just tired of being the weakest of the group.
Diablo: You know, you are right. You are the weakest. (Removes Belial from his friend's list.)
Belial: (B& hammer word)ing Diablo.
Reply Quote
Skeleton king: why is it when the witch doctor kills his own minions he gets an achievement but when i kill my own minions; HE gets an achievement?
Reply Quote
Thread post: why are all our items BOA?

Skeleton: I want to be able to trade, this not WOW!

SavageBeast: L2Pnoob, only loOser p2w!

Skeleton2:@sbeast- L2spell, "looser?!" Lolz

Troll: u mad skelebro? Come at me! Me bet u no even lift

SavageBeast: Ill come at u

THREAD LOCKED
Reply Quote
Thread post: log on, all gear and gold gone! Blues please read!!!

ZombieOP: don't know if hacked. Was playing w group running out normal 2x3 square In pleasant tree hill (why does map say festering wood?)

Anyway, group of vampiric frozen locust ww fear dog arrow elites comes into area (I go all Leroy Jenkins) and boom one shotted. Then i dc

Log back In and respawn just to find out my 125 gold was gone and my broken gray sword and that PoS sultan of blinding sand that I got from some dude on mp10.

Fix now
Blues please respond or I quit. Going back to resident evil.

FallenShamen: gtfo noob, 125 gold? I lost 3000 gold and my Nats ring to a quad pack of ww fart barbs

MorluHC: @ fallen- not everybody got Butchers credit card

SandWasp: 2 bees!

THREAD LOCKED
Edited by marmoset#1939 on 10/20/2013 5:59 AM PDT
Reply Quote
10/19/2013 10:18 PMPosted by DaRkCroNo
Petition to drop out more blue and white to hide all the DE, rares, and Legs.


It looks like this petition has been already passed lol.
Reply Quote
Posts: 4,965
Blizzard, I've been a monster in your games for over ten years. I was a skeleton in D1, and I spent years as a Fallen shaman in D2. I even tried being a raid boss in WoW for a while, but I quit when WotLK made it too easy for noobs to kill me.

It pains me to say it, but I can no longer support your games. D3 has just been one bad decision after another. The RMAH has made it possible for anyone with a credit card to get gear good enough to beat me. Then, you nerfed Inferno back to the Stone Age, and now any idiot with a Googled build and a few hours of farming under their belt can slaughter me and my friends.

All you do is keep nerfing us monsters and buffing players. Nerfing reflects damage, removing invulnerable minions, giving players better gear. Nerf, nerf, nerf. All the while you let players keep broken things like critical mass, whirlwind, and health globes. It's gotten ridiculous. Even on MP10, we just can't cut it.

I'm so saddened by what has become of this once great company. And now you're planning to add another class and give players even better gear? No. Just no.

I hear being a monster in Path of the Exile is pretty fun. I'm going to give that a go.

And no, you can't have my stuff. The Nephalem already took it all. ><

Yours,
-Vortex/plagued/shielding/mortar Fallen Hound #86538
Reply Quote
"Petition to indefinitely postpone Loot 2.0 for PC!"
Reply Quote
duh ... i like to sneak up behind people and say BOO!

Boy that makes me so happy. Sometimes they run away ... hee hee hee.
Reply Quote
Ubers thread

(Skeleton King): yo Butcher and Azmo, you guys are being lazy not taking a part in our ubers party
(Butcher): no worries at all bro, we just need to decide who can host the party
Azmodan: bring your hot plates over to my place, we can find room to put em in
(Nekarat the Keywarden): sorry for hijacking your topic guys, just to let you know I had a chat last night with my brothers Odeg, Sokahr and Xah'Rith, thinking to setup multiplayer to see if any Nephalem would be brave enough to come after all keys
(Skeleton King): if it's a case, let's get all together. I'm sure everyone can bring along his favorite plate of damage.
(Zoltun Kulle): I'll play hide and seek, who with me?
(Butcher): cool, Siegebreaker and I can do some racing, lol
...
Reply Quote
From some comments the monsters do have their own forums too, right here and they post in Blue text. MuHAHahaHAA!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jofNR_WkoCE
Edited by RockSalt#1639 on 10/20/2013 4:00 PM PDT
Reply Quote
Ubers thread

(Skeleton King): yo Butcher and Azmo, you guys are being lazy not taking a part in our ubers party
(Butcher): no worries at all bro, we just need to decide who can host the party
Azmodan: bring your hot plates over to my place, we can find room to put em in
(Nekarat the Keywarden): sorry for hijacking your topic guys, just to let you know I had a chat last night with my brothers Odeg, Sokahr and Xah'Rith, thinking to setup multiplayer to see if any Nephalem would be brave enough to come after all keys
(Skeleton King): if it's a case, let's get all together. I'm sure everyone can bring along his favorite plate of damage.
(Zoltun Kulle): I'll play hide and seek, who with me?
(Butcher): cool, Siegebreaker and I can do some racing, lol
...


Imagine fighting against four key wardens in xpac! That would be awesome. And great dialogue of bosses.
Reply Quote
10/18/2013 12:16 PMPosted by Monstrous
[quote]Mallet Lord "Is my game bugged? Can't find any Nephalem in Act 4"


That's pretty dexterous typing for someone who has hammers for hands. I thought a Mallet Lord's response would look something like this:

"bujhyeklkiop pl;QWEGHC VER MER HQAbnds"


Maybe he had a dialing wand.
Reply Quote
Posts: 99
I imagine the monster trash talk against each other should be the opposite than players:

monster1 - I'm tired of this - - I T, It took me FOREVER to finally spawn vortex+arcane+jailer and I got totally owned by a random AH Barb! Diablo 2 was so much better, you'd get allways 1 or to immunities in hell and now we have to beg for a half decent affix. I'm done with this game, I'm quitting.

monster2 - LOL L2P MP10 Noob. try playing MP0 like me, Nephalem here actually DO DAMAGE. Everybody in the forums know you only play HC, where Nephalem run like chicken, and don't even respawn!

monster3 - Man up and play some softcore before crying in the forums
Reply Quote
Basically the same thing a lot of Nephalem have been saying: Nerf the Barb & CM wiz! Only instead of "lrn2playnoob" we'd see a crap-ton of +1's. :D
Edited by MimSiEOD#1720 on 10/21/2013 9:39 AM PDT
Reply Quote
You guys are over complicating it.

Skelebro 1: "Dude, check out the !@# on that demon hunter. Hot daum."
Skelebro 2: "Totally. I'd love to bone her."
Together: HEUHEUHEUHEUEHUEHEU

The conversations need to be as cheesy as the game. :P
Reply Quote
Musings from Jeff 'the skeleton' Skeleton:

I realized just the other day that I really have a problem. Before I get into that, let me tell you what happened. I was sitting there in the Keep Depths enjoying a smoke with my homies Brad and Edward and suddenly we hear this really loud disturbance coming from the other room. It sounded like someone was flinging beds and chairs around and just generally making a mess of things. Brad got really peeved. I mean, we'd been in there sraightening for several hours and man, we had that place looking super tight! So Brad gets all macho and starts swaggering over towards the door. Edward ran over to stop him because Edward's a pacifist and can't stand the sight of blood (why he joined up with Asmodan's Army is beyond me. I suspect is was the prospect of a free college education afterhis term was up) and all of a sudden the door exploded into the room. Before we could even react, both Edward and Brad got sucked into some kind of a vortex and got killed immediately.

Dude, that scared the crap out of me. If I had the ability to pee my pants, I would have. That's how scared I was. Faced with something like this, a man's fight or flight instinct kicks in and, let me tell you, mine was kicking in. The problem is this, I know I should have taken off running as fast as I could, but when I saw that white haored guy just standing there picking up all of Edward's gold off the ground, I just couldn't help myself. I don't know why I went at the guy. I think that I figured if he had white hair, he was probably some old geezer who'd gotten in a lucky shot. Man, I really thought I could take him. I was winding up for a killing blow and then his friend ran into the room from behind me and sucker punched me right in the spine and I just fell apart.

I'm super pissed. I've been playing this game since release and the only loot I've been able to find is a crappy sword. The preference Blizzard shows for these PCs is ludicrous. I mean, c'mon, man. If you're going to give someone preferential treatment, can you at least try to not be so obvious about it? I hear them whining all he time about losing their precious AH. Lucky them. They don't realize how fortunate they are to have ever had an AH. I kinda fibbed earlier when I said that I had 'found' my sword. I didn't find it. I had to buy it... from a third party website. Man, that stupid sword cost me like $40. I am beginning to hate this game and after what happened to Edward, Brad, and myself last night, I am seriously considering just giving this game up for good.
Reply Quote
"That female Demon Hunter got pretty nice !@#"
Reply Quote
when can I turn elite?....says Fallen maniac to blizz dev
Reply Quote
Rakanoth (Ubers): Damn Blizz, wash Ghom.
Reply Quote

Please report any Code of Conduct violations, including:

Threats of violence. We take these seriously and will alert the proper authorities.

Posts containing personal information about other players. This includes physical addresses, e-mail addresses, phone numbers, and inappropriate photos and/or videos.

Harassing or discriminatory language. This will not be tolerated.

Forums Code of Conduct

Report Post # written by

Reason
Explain (256 characters max)

Reported!

[Close]