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I've always loved limericks. I thought I'd make a few and share 'em with you guys. Feel free to make your own limericks and contribute them to the thread.
Your limericks should:
-Follow AABBA rhyme scheme.
-The A's should have 8-12 syllables, while the Bs should have about 5.
-Be dirty. The best limericks have clever innuendo.
-Be about D3.
PS: Bliz, please don't close this thread for adult humor. It's all in good fun. I just want to give people a few chuckles.
Edit: some of the words are getting filtered out. Oh well. Use your imagination.
An angry young boy named Darien
When pissed, would swear and swear again.
So to quickly assuage
His clinical rage
He’d sign on and play his barbarian.
My wizard ex-girlfriend just bickers
At which point I pull out my liquors.
But after a drink
And a charming wink
She’ll teleport right out of her knickers!
There once was a Witch Doctor, Ophelia
Who would collect undead memorabilia.
Her favorite, a glyph,
Made corpses stiff
For engaging in some !@#$%^-*!ia.
There once was a Monk quite twisted
Who favored Monk powers not listed.
His foes were subdued
By stripping them nude
And instead of getting punched, they got fisted.
There once was a Demon Hunter from West Troy.
Killing demons was almost her best joy.
In her quiver she stored
More than arrows and swords:
She kept several dozen of her best sex toys.
A flat-chested Barbarianess from Breevedge
Embarrassed, sought out a witch near sea’s edge.
After paying the price
The crone gave her advice:
“Just change your primary if you want better cleavage.”
I once knew a Demon Hunter named Yaw-Drak
Whose legendary hood had one drawback.
It was made from leather;
T’was light as a feather,
But fashioned from Diablo’s ball sack.
I once knew a Barbarianess, a blonde.
Of magic she must’ve been fond.
She said with a sneer,
“I hate warrior gear.
I’d much rather play with your wand.”
I once knew a wizard, a sexy young broad
Whose grasp of foreplay was really quite flawed
When she grabbed my device
I gave some advice,
“Pretend you’re wielding crystal balls, and a rod.”
There was a legendary item of sources arcane
It broke from frequent use, and wear, and strain.
It needed more than a smith,
This item of myth.
For Only @#$%^- could repair Deckard’s cane.
Edited by Thraen50#1824 on 4/25/2012 5:11 PM PDT
At killing the Barbarian is deft
His mighty weapon he can easily heft
But running headlong
And being headstrong
Facilitated the goblins theft.
His loincloth was all that remained
Of all the Legendary loot he had obtained
He headed for town
His spirits were down
But he vowed vengeance with wrath unrestrained.
He met Leah in the Slaughtered Calf Inn
Where she asked him to help find her kin
He fell down a hole
While out on a stroll
The Cathedral is where we must begin.
Once a splendor viewed from afar
It's beauty now marred by a hideous scar
Is where we must go
To uncover the truth of the fallen star.
Hahaha, this captures my sentiments exactly. I'm counting the days.
You're a great limerick writer! You're like a kindred spirit. :)
How about Diablo 2?
Poor Akara was never allowed to finish
A sentence she began with anguish
Half of her name
A place of some fame
She'd send heroes on their first quest with a flourish
Remember when you'd first talk to Akara in D2 in Act I? All she would manage to say is "My name is Aka-" and then you'd click. Then she'd start "There is a place of grea-" and then you'd click again and take off for the Den of Evil? That was the first thing that came to mind to write a limerick. I'll try to do better.
Diablo 2 again ...
There once was a paladin of great zeal
His fanaticism couldn't be more real
Smashing demons a bunch
He defended Sanctuary with steal
Diablo 3 ...
There once was a man named Jondar
Friends with Kormac, a Templar
Succumbed to Dark Magic
What happened was tragic
BUT THE WILL OF A TEMPLAR IS STRONGER
Okay, I think I'm done for now.
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