Diablo® III

I'm a Norse Deity and my Account Got Hacked

hey, OP, you made it to WoW insider website! here's link:

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104 Worgen Warrior
Posts: 1,948
Posting on a tread that will make it to the history books.
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100 Draenei Shaman
Posts: 141
Oh ho you sir OP. I lol'd the likes of which my lungs haven't seen for a while.
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06/07/2012 05:34 PMPosted by Triune

What about their Barbies® ....hmm? What are you going to do to them?

Believe it or not, he used the word correctly. In this case, it means "all of those you know."

Really archaic word. Bravo to him for knowing it.

Ken = Know

Great post Woden, or should we call you Long Beard, Wise one, Long Beard, Grimnir, Enemy of Wolf, Brother of Villi, Father of Balder, Son of Borr, Deceiver, Riddler, Lord of Ghost, The Blind Guest, Spear Charger, Sheild Breaker, Helm Bearer, Ripper, God of Battle, Hanged One, Gallows Burden, Maked One, Wanderer, Wise One, Teacher of Gods, Glory Giver, God of Runes, Wednesday....
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So I'm Odin, the All-Father; I am Iron Grim, the One-Eyed. I'm the Longbeard, Lord of Ghosts, Wise One... you get the idea. My gaming rig is engraved with protective runes, and my firewall is a wall manned by Heimdell, who sees and hears any threat to the residents of Asgard. Every day at sunrise, my entire system is massaged with a poultice of angelica, burdock, comfrey, dill, and moss provided by Eir while a healing galdr is chanted over it. My ISP is two ravens that bring me news of all the happenings in the world and is always 100% stable and secure, personally watched over by the birds. Don't ask me how they do it; I'm not spending another day on that damn tree just to find out. It's powered by human sacrifice, although I have no idea how this could be relevant; I've just seen others with the same problem posting it.

Considering that my computer literally has godly protections, I was shocked to log in to get
my barb on only to dicover my character had been completely STRIPPED of EVERYTHING. The problem isn't me here, Blizzard. I don't even get any spam because Huginn and Muninn just filter it out for me. I haven't used my password anywhere other than official Blizzard sites and the game itself, and my authenticator has been cursed to kill anyone who touches it that isn't me. I'm outraged that you pitiful mortals once again dropped the ball and gave MY information away. Now they know my true name and the address of Asgard, and who knows what sort of mischief they'll get up to with that information? I knew it was a mistake trusting your servers with the information, but I didn't want to break my ToU and give you false information. It's what I get for following the rules.

I demand that you restore my items and gold IMMEDIATELY, Blizzard. I have been a loyal and supportive customer for far too long, and my patience has run out. I also demand you provide me with the IP address of all systems that have accessed my account so that I may call a wild hunt and bring justice to the fools that dared meddle in the affairs of the gods. Finally, and believe me, I am a little regretful about this part, I'm going to need you to offer me a human sacrifice as amends. I'm sorry, but rules are rules and that's what will give you absolution. It doesn't have to be anyone special; even an intern you have laying about will do the job. But my wrath will not be sated until you do, and if you fail to do so you and your ken will be cursed by all the gods and goddesses of Asgard and will not find rest or solace while they still walk the land of Midgard. Like I said, I don't like doing it, but you've tied my hands here, Blizzard. Make it right, and it can all go away.

Dear All-father, send me Thor and I will give you all your gears and monies back,
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85 Human Paladin
Posts: 20
101/10 OP

On rare occasions official forums can produce diamonds.
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90 Blood Elf Paladin
Posts: 67
I lost it when I got to the part about your ISP being two ravens.
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your computer might has all dat advanced magic and technology, etc. but !@#$in tony stark still can hack it NP
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Excellent post.
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acts of god are not covered by your insurance.
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