Diablo® III

Post Your Favorite Diablo Joke

I'll start...

Diablo, Mephisto and Baal walk into a bar.

Mephisto looks at the other two and says, "I hate it here."
Edited by Melancholy#1609 on 6/19/2012 3:45 PM PDT
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Diablo responds: I was afraid of that.
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...and then Baal trashes the place.

:)
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Jay Wilson: We get lots of compliments on the story and dialogue.


One of my favorites.
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Azmodan walks into a confessional.
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06/19/2012 06:27 PMPosted by Taedirk
Jay Wilson: We get lots of compliments on the story and dialogue.


One of my favorites.


omg I'm laughing so hard.
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Andariel looks over at Duriel and says, "You're such a pain."
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06/19/2012 06:27 PMPosted by Taedirk
Jay Wilson: We get lots of compliments on the story and dialogue.


One of my favorites.


+1
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A monk, the Butcher and Diablo all sat down at a Subway to eat some lunch.

Monk: Hey Butcher, how's the sandwich?

Butcher: Vegetables bad! Meat good!

Monk: Yeah, I noticed you picking off all the lettuce over there. How about you, Big D? D?

*Diablo stands at the counter, still finishing his order.*

Diablo: You will never finish my ssssandwich, my armiesss are too powerful!

Sandwich Artist: Here you go sir, all done. Your friends already paid for you.

*Hands Diablo his sandwich.*

Diablo: It mattersss not that you made my sssandwich, you will never hand me my cookiessss!

Sandwich Artist: Here you go, sir.

*Hands Diablo two chocolate chip cookies.*

*Diablo opens his mouth to speak, then closes it and shakes his horned head. He walks over and sits with the others.*

Diablo: How tastessss your sssandwich, Nephalem?

Monk: Pretty awesome. I asked him to make me one with everything.
Edited by Melancholy#1609 on 6/20/2012 12:26 PM PDT
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The Diablo III storyline.
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Ghom walks into a Weight Watchers meeting.
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06/20/2012 01:14 PMPosted by Andrew
The Diablo III storyline.


^this

Taedirk
Jay Wilson: We get lots of compliments on the story and dialogue.

One of my favorites.


^and this so far.
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Ghom sits down with a big bowl of baked beans for lunch. Hell immediately clears out.
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Ok a barbarian and a witchdoctor sit down at a bar. The barbarian says "My homeland was destroyed when the worldstone shattered." The witchdoctor nods and takes a sip of his brew, "Indeed, my home is trouble too by the collapse of the Zakarum priesthood..." Then all of a sudden the monk bursts in and PUNCHLINE WILL BE INSERTED IN JOKE PATCH 1.1
Edited by Gurgi#1715 on 6/20/2012 3:37 PM PDT
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06/20/2012 03:37 PMPosted by Gurgi
PUNCHLINE WILL BE INSERTED IN JOKE PATCH 1.1


As opposed to just doing it right the first time.
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I loved Melancholy's. Made me giggle.
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Auriel and Rakanoth pay a large cover fee and attend the Annual Caldeum Carnival. Halfway through the evening they get into a heated argument over a large barrel of ale, half of which has been drunk.

Auriel: "Half full!"

Rakanoth: "Half empty!"

Auriel: "Half full!"

Rakanoth: "Half empty!"

A gigantic barbarian walks up between them and grabs the keg. He places his mouth over the bung and turns the keg up on end. He takes enormous gulps as the ale runs down his mouth, beard and chest and begins to puddle on the ground. For a full minute he chugs the ale, then he throws the empty keg across the room.

The barbarian's belch is long and loud. The ground vibrates at its intensity; it echoes from the walls and seems to last for an eternity. Other partygoers around the room stop and stare in disbelief at the length of this mighty belch.

Rakanoth gets a perturbed look on his face. “Hey, we were just arguing over that ale!”

The barbarian gets a bemused look on his face. “What do we care?” he chuckles. “We already have your coin!” He bellows laughter as he walks away.
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90 Pandaren Shaman
10965
"I couldn't help but notice that the titular villain was way more titular this time around."
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If a Demon Hunter is powered by Hatred, and Mephisto is the Lord of Hatred, wouldn't the Demon Hunters actually be working for Mephisto?
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