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Servers are down because ......... Failure in Backup Power Generator.
There is a tiny cage at Blizzard Entertainment, that contains a Gerbil. This Gerbil is named Freddy. Freddy's job is to run in his wheel, powering a small generator that supplies power to the backup systems for Blizzard Entertainment.
Today, Freddy died. It seems that SOMEONE FORGOT TO FEED HIM FOR AN ENTIRE WEEK. And now, they are attempting to find a replacement for Freddy, but a trip to the local pet stores discovered that they were sold out due to an Kindergarden science experiment. At this time, Blizzard employees are canvassing the local schools, searching for a student willing to get an "f" for "losing" his or her gerbil in exchange for a free copy of Starcraft 2 or World of Warcraft. The 5-year-olds are understandably confused, and say that their mommy and daddy wont like it if they get a bad grade. At this time, the company jet is being readied for an immediate flight to Canada, in search of gerbils who will come to our rescue.
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