Diablo® III

I have been getting such horrible drops recently I've decided to collect the worst in slot gear for every class. Not just collect, but showcase. With a ladder giving credit to whomever provides my characters with the most abysmal gear possible for a slot for a given class.

The showcase is/will be: http://us.battle.net/d3/en/profile/notfiggins42-1680/

Things I seek:

• Class specific items with off-class affixes
• Items with class-specifc affixes and no/low primary stat roll (inverse proportional to class, eg: ilvl 63 Wand with 260dps and +250 str)
• Lowest possible rolls of affixes (1% AS anyone?) for slot
• Embarrassingly silly legendaries
• ... suggestions welcome

This isn't a trolling post. I seriously want to make a mini competition out of the opposite of the current culture. I think it would be fun -- and a reason to examine drops more closely.

"Is this bow worse than the worst currently recorded drop in d3 history? WOOT!"

Think: A char geared with all max-level items but with DPS/resist/etc as close to a naked char as humanly possible.

Anyway, if you you happen to find any gear that makes you fall out of your chair laughing, please pass it my way. I've created one of each class characters under a blatantly-obvious secondary account name notfiggins42 ... Anyone wanting to participate in this experiment/goofoff please add me or my alt as a friend and give me some gear!

Nothing I am doing [should] violate any ToS/EULA. I simply want to level five classes and make them grossly under geared harnessing the power of the RNG.

That is all. I thank you for your time. (also upvote/sticky request would be helpful. the more the merrier in this very noble quest for bad gear[s])

First official gear contributor: http://us.battle.net/d3/en/profile/modena-1923/ ... My primary now has most starting gear for most slots.

Let the games begin!

If you wish to supply a bad drop (or fill an empty slot on any of the characters) add "notfiggins42#1680" as a friend with "WIS FUNTIME!" (or something similar).

EDIT: removed bit about needing power leveling help and cost of 2nd account donations welcome. Added info about contributions.

EDIT: braimstorm on "rules" for worst-in-slot. very tech-spec-esque should/not/must emphasis. subject to change:

* each class MUST carry an item with a primary stat (wiz/wd int, barb str, dh/monk dex).
* That stat SHOULD be the lowest primary stat rolled.
* the item SHOULD be the highest possible iLvl for the slot. (62 ring/ammy/offhand, 63 else).
* in the case of ring/ammy/ffhand, set (63) trumps max 62
* non-legendary BIS pieces SHOULD be lowest possible rolls. (eg: gloves with IAS/cc/cmg/primary)
* ALTERNATELY a low primary and off-class roll SHOULD trump a BIS-anti-roll
* classes MUST carry class-specific weapons
* classes SHOULD attempt to find complete primary ilvl 63 sets
* characters SHOULD aim for lowest possible dps (primary/cc/cdmg) AND survivability (life/resist/armor)

Reserved for eventual ladder for each of the classes and slots. Thanks in advance to whomever will be listed here.

Barbarian - omgThumper http://us.battle.net/d3/en/profile/notfiggins42-1680/hero/29142154

• helm courtesy {profile}
• shoulder courtesy {profile}
• neck courtesy {profile}
• chest courtesy {profile}
• hands courtesy http://us.battle.net/d3/en/profile/figgins42-1920/
• wrist courtesy {profile}
• belt courtesy http://us.battle.net/d3/en/profile/figgins42-1920/
• pants courtesy {profile}
• primary courtesy {profile}
• boots courtesy http://us.battle.net/d3/en/profile/figgins42-1920/
• offhand courtesy {profile}
• ring 1 courtesy http://us.battle.net/d3/en/profile/figgins42-1920/
• ring 2 courtesy http://us.battle.net/d3/en/profile/figgins42-1920/

Demon Hunter - omgDemons http://us.battle.net/d3/en/profile/notfiggins42-1680/hero/29142161

• helm courtesy http://us.battle.net/d3/en/profile/cubed-1250/
• shoulder courtesy http://us.battle.net/d3/en/profile/benweasel-1663/
• neck courtesy http://us.battle.net/d3/en/profile/figgins42-1920/
• chest courtesy http://us.battle.net/d3/en/profile/modena-1923/
• hands http://us.battle.net/d3/en/profile/figgins42-1920/
• wrist courtesy http://us.battle.net/d3/en/profile/modena-1923/
• belt courtesy http://us.battle.net/d3/en/profile/modena-1923/
• pants courtesy http://us.battle.net/d3/en/profile/modena-1923/
• primary courtesy http://us.battle.net/d3/en/profile/figgins42-1920/
• boots courtesy http://us.battle.net/d3/en/profile/modena-1923/
• offhand courtesy http://us.battle.net/d3/en/profile/purelaine-1705/
• ring 1 courtesy http://us.battle.net/d3/en/profile/figgins42-1920/
• ring 2 courtesy http://us.battle.net/d3/en/profile/figgins42-1920/

Witch Doctor - omgVoodoo http://us.battle.net/d3/en/profile/notfiggins42-1680/hero/29142130

• helm courtesy http://us.battle.net/d3/en/profile/modena-1923/
• shoulder courtesy http://us.battle.net/d3/en/profile/figgins42-1920/
• neck courtesy {profile}
• chest courtesy {profile}
• hands courtesy http://us.battle.net/d3/en/profile/modena-1923/
• wrist courtesy {profile}
• belt courtesy {profile}
• pants courtesy http://us.battle.net/d3/en/profile/figgins42-1920/
• primary courtesy http://us.battle.net/d3/en/profile/modena-1923/
• boots courtesy http://us.battle.net/d3/en/profile/figgins42-1920/
• offhand courtesy http://us.battle.net/d3/en/profile/figgins42-1920/
• ring 1 courtesy http://us.battle.net/d3/en/profile/modena-1923/
• ring 2 courtesy {profile}

Monk - omgReally* http://us.battle.net/d3/en/profile/notfiggins42-1680/hero/29142120

• helm courtesy http://us.battle.net/d3/en/profile/modena-1923/
• shoulder courtesy {profile}
• neck courtesy {profile}
• chest courtesy {profile}
• hands courtesy {profile}
• wrist courtesy {profile}
• belt courtesy http://us.battle.net/d3/en/profile/figgins42-1920/
• pants courtesy {profile}
• primary courtesy http://us.battle.net/d3/en/profile/modena-1923/
• boots courtesy {profile}
• offhand courtesy http://us.battle.net/d3/en/profile/modena-1923/
• ring 1 courtesy {profile}
• ring 2 courtesy {profile}

Wizard - omgPonies http://us.battle.net/d3/en/profile/notfiggins42-1680/hero/29142091

• helm courtesy http://us.battle.net/d3/en/profile/modena-1923/
• shoulder courtesy {profile}
• neck courtesy {profile}
• chest courtesy {profile}
• hands courtesy {profile}
• wrist courtesy {profile}
• belt courtesy http://us.battle.net/d3/en/profile/dewmon42-1932/
• pants courtesy {profile}
• primary courtesy http://us.battle.net/d3/en/profile/figgins42-1920/
• boots courtesy http://us.battle.net/d3/en/profile/modena-1923/
• offhand courtesy http://us.battle.net/d3/en/profile/figgins42-1920/
• ring 1 courtesy {profile}
• ring 2 courtesy {profile}

* omgReally? omgHesus and omgJebus are both offensive/inappropriate character names for a monk?

Smart.

I wish I had held on to most of the horribad items I have found.

Cool, i find good stuff, but i find some really really bad stuff too, im gonna start working on the worst geared toon ever.

Just use Greys and youre good to go for WIS

11/26/2012 08:19 PMPosted by Zaruen

Just use Greys and youre good to go for WIS

Greys don't come with:

Things I seek:

• Class specific items with off-class affixes
• Items with class-specifc affixes and no/low primary stat roll (inverse proportional to class, eg: ilvl 63 Wand with 260dps and +250 str)
• Lowest possible rolls of affixes (1% AS anyone?) for slot
• Embarrassingly silly legendaries
• ... suggestions welcome

Why be a smartazz?

Anyways, sounds pretty funny to me. I will send you an invite in game and help you on your quest!

i know i know but greys are still teh worst items.. :P

hey wait a minute... woulnt this classify as suggestions welcome :P

oh and i think its a neat out of the box idewa ... im just teasing the tc ...

Thanks folks for all the friend requests!

I got to answer a couple this morning before servers went down. Now patiently awaiting patchloop to end so I can start to level some of these characters. I tried playing dual 1-handed some last night but it was proving to be more difficult than I had anticipated. Don't really feel safe setting up a multibox type setup, so will just slowly progress through some levels until a good samaritan offers to more rapidly powerlevel for me. I have a cains set and lots of red-gem helms once they each hit lvl 23 or so. I may try doing just boss runs on mp10 to avoid having to make one hand follow the other char.

Interestingly I couldn't (as of this morning) trade any items or gold to my "brand new" account until some sort of review process happens, so up to 72 hours? Anyway -- thanks for the support/interest. Definitely moving forward with this. Maybe I'll find a signet while powerleveling in act 2 :)

i would recommend that u go for only rares and legendary, and only lvl 63 items even thou lvl 58 can technically roll 63 stats to make it more fair. that way u wont be swamped with tons of frostburn or ivory tower

11/27/2012 08:23 AMPosted by Easter

i would recommend that u go for only rares and legendary, and only lvl 63 items even thou lvl 58 can technically roll 63 stats to make it more fair. that way u wont be swamped with tons of frostburn or ivory tower

Yep -- that's the plan. No blues (because there could be worse), Yellow/set/leg only. Torn on things like "bad" as in 2-affix ilvl62 ammy versus ilvl62 ammy w/ 6 "badish" affixes. eg: does it make an item more-bad if it has 6 insulting affixes or is the fact an ilvl62 rolled "only two" weighted.

Also thinking about socketed items -- do I put chipped gems in the sockets or just avoid socketed gear all together? sockets==good, so my gut says avoid them, but it would count as bonus bad to put off-primary gems in sockets if available (leaving sockets empty is out of the question)

11/27/2012 08:29 AMPosted by Formosa

This is so sad, people are already running out of stuff to farm for in the game? lol

I don't see it as sad. I am just looking at it as if it is another set of things to farm for ...

I've seen some insultingly bad items drop in my 1300 hours but never saved them. This gives me something else to look for while I do my standard farming runs. And it is something everyone can participate in. The worse you feel RNG is treating you the better!

funny idea... the worst item i have seen was a broken dagger (or sword?) it was .9 dps... yes. POINT 9 lol awesome

Whatever your weird intentions/motives are (like.. do whatever it takes to get donations? maybe?), my humble suggestion is snap out of it.

11/27/2012 08:47 AMPosted by hell2kane

Whatever your weird intentions/motives are (like.. do whatever it takes to get donations? maybe?), my humble suggestion is snap out of it.

NO regarding donations. I could take that part out of the OP, but I follow with on the next line

11/26/2012 07:32 PMPosted by figgins42

More interested in the gear than I am being reimbursed for a parody account.

I work from home doing internet "stuff". I have lots of time in front of a computer, and lots of "parody" domain names in place. $40 isn't going to break me. I've gotten more than the $60 release day cost in entertainment out of this game, just seeking something else fun to do for a while. To me this parody/gear-set will be fun.

Here is a D3 parody domain: http://aretheregirlsthere.com ... $10/year just to have a website that says "no". Owned since before D3 was released -- so only inadvertently themed D3

11/27/2012 08:51 AMPosted by Formosa

Not saying u are sad, but the game is sad, where it doesn't give you anything meaningful or useful to farm.

Fair point. I also get sad when an UNID "desolator wand" drops. I get a hair excited at first but know in my heart that when it IDs it'll be ~350dps w/ +175 str ... I've never ever seen a >1k dps wand drop. The one I am holding in [primary] char is GAH'd. Though to be fair to the game -- all the rest of my gear is found personally, with the exception of my tals ammy (given to me by a friend) and my tals chest (which was purchased from someone randomly in #general claiming it was their first set drop ever, and was an upgrade over my own found tals chest [which i have since hand-me-down'd to another friend]).

Found yesterday a crossbow with strength and a bonus to one witch doctor's skill. Also I saw lot of items with 11 resistances to all elements or 40 life on hit, though I never saw items with less than 5% attack speed.