Diablo® III

Me vs Everybody (Survival Test)

Who wants to challenge me in a Survival test? Rules are simple, when you die first, you lose. I do not die, unless my wife tells me to do something, then I die. BUT, that clearly does not count since the wife is OP and I do not know anybody who can win at the "Wife Test". That is not a fun test, not fun at all :(

Inferno MP10, any act, does not matter. When you die, yes I said when you die, you lose. Given your unavoidable death in game, it is better to concede defeat than suffer the humiliation you will subject yourself to in a game with the mighty, unkillable, me.
Edited by jco310#1218 on 7/17/2013 4:06 PM PDT
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I'm down for survival test and wife test. Both sounds fun. A little worried about the wife test though. That's on another level.
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Posts: 2,220
Oh snap, Sir Jaco has picked up the ancient sword..
Beware and Behold. >:D
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This sounds fun! Count me in!
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OP wife is worse than fighting all the ubers at once.

Mine just sent my 5yr old to time out for trolling her little sister.

I watched from the corner and stayed out of the way O_O
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Posts: 2,220
Behold, Jco, I have a gift for you.
If your wife is too OP, that means you need to give her some medicine.
Give her a Dove chocolate bar, and say "I saved this for you, sweetheart."

Trust and Believe and just do it.
'Cause Dr. Raahl said so. ;)
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@Everybody but CF

Ok, you can all play with the mighty JCO, although you will all die so you should all just give up now. No really, just give up now. My monk does not die, unless Scrapz is in the game, he gets me killed.


Ok, I took your advice and this is what happened:
Me - Here sweetie, a nice Dove chocolate bar for you.
Wife - Oh, what did you do?
Me - Nothing my dear, I just wanted to show you how much I appreciate you.
Wife - Oh, I am so lucky to have you as a husband, I get a chocolate bar.
Me - (In my head....oh $h!t, I am in trouble)
Wife - What else did you get me?
Me - Uh, I remember I forgot to park the car, I need to go park the car......(I am running out the door)
Wife - Don't forget to get me something shiny.
Me - ** DO NOT LISTEN TO CF!!!!! EVER!!!!!

Thanks CF, now I need to get her something shiny.
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who or what is gonna kill all youse bad boys?

Chuck Norris ?


The Joker ?

Loki ?

My little pony ?

Botulism ?

Can we have some specifics here ????
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dang... can you imagine how OP Chuck Norris' wife is?
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She has the "Total Gym" to thank for her OP'ness.


MP10 will kill them all.
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ok...if you say so...i guess you can come out of your room now.
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I can not come out yet....wife still home....I hear her footsteps....oh noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo....RUN RUN
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Posts: 2,220

Listen up, minions, maggots, worms, and grasshoppers.

I am the True Bad Boy around this 'hood.
and I say show some Masculinity, if a chick gets out of hand, you go "come here, baby".
If she gets too OP, you go like this :

Angel : Yo.
Angel's Wife : Ohai.
Angel's Wife : what did you do today?
Angel : chillin villain.
AW: ugh, I mean what did you do at work today?
Angel : Nothing, I roundhouse kicked my boss and left.
Angel : Anyways, I. Have. A. Gift. For You. (speak slow and authoritative, mortals, it adds drama, chicks dig it)
AW: Oh really? what is it?
Angel : Nothing.
AW: wtf?
Angel : well, I met a spiritual teacher/shaman/werewolf etc., and he told me chocolate is good for women's beauty, so I bought you a bar of Dove. Enjoy.

(a week or a month of peace of mind just from doing that, do you understand?)
(just give them the right natural medicines they need, and they won't keep tormenting you, get it?)


See, JCO is a bad boy to the men, but he should be a "bad boy" to his wife too,
cuz she wants it, and that's the Truth.

Jco, that script you did could've been like this.

JCO - Here sweetheart, I got something for you. (puts chocolate bar down.)
JCO's Wife - Oh, what did you do?
JCO - Nothing my dear, I just wanted to show you how much I appreciate you.
(right answer : "Nothing... Everything. ;)"

JCO's Wife - Oh, I am so lucky to have you as a husband, I get a chocolate bar.
JCO - (In my head....oh $h!t, I am in trouble)
(right thoughtform : Man is always in trouble at one point or the other, but Man's gotta do what Man's gotta do.)

JCO's Wife - What else did you get me?
JCO - Uh, I remember I forgot to park the car, I need to go park the car......(I am running out the door)
(wtf? right answer : I got you a symbol of my love within this candy, what else do you want, woman? ;D)

JCO's Wife : (sudden silence.. astonishment.. surprise)

JCO's Wife - Don't forget to get me something shiny!
(right answer : "I won't. *smile*, walk away.)

(suddenly JCO gets a few days or a week of freedom from a wife's oppression)

Just do the right things man - and that is :
REMEMBER how to be a man, and be the man when you have to.
Edited by CountFury#1192 on 7/17/2013 4:17 PM PDT
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Posts: 2,220
The Venusian Art(how to deal with woman to keep the true peace and have what you want too) is one of the most difficult to master.
There are many paths to it.
Do you want to learn? It will be an honor for me to teach.

(what's the catch? NOTHING. I just have too much knowledge, I need to pass some around, fools!!)
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Posts: 2,220
^ when in doubt, save yourselves and avoid your wife until she calms the fk down.
Simple as that.

^ when in other doubt, if she's "checking on you" and asking,
just tell her. "NOT Right Now. I'm working, brainstorming, thinking, for "WORK"
and just act like you're thinking.
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ME? Lazy?

Too bad you missed the Rii thread Fitz, it was pretty good.

Edit: That does not work CF, I just look at her upper chest area, oh yea, upper chest area. Then I get a glass of milk, a really big glass of milk.

Wonder if this thread will get deleted? I hope not.
Edited by jco310#1218 on 7/17/2013 4:22 PM PDT
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LR just bribes women with Dove chocolates, it only works for so long and then you'll need some real advice.
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Posts: 2,220
^ Alright, here comes the real advice. (for whoever that needs it)
(that wouldn't be my case btw, but for now JCO can resort to bribing a woman.)

- If a woman is too controlling, you either
A) Set yourself free. Leave her alone until she wants you back. Or just tell her to get out of your sight for now.
B) Give her the dance of good and evil. In other words, give her TEMPTATIONS, then test her, and teach her stuff. And learn stuff yourself too.
C) Take back the control and just be a man and tell her,
"Alright, sweetheart, you've been a Queen for a while, but you gotta still remember who's the King around here. I just haven't been a King lately cuz I'm tired from hard work."
D) Tell Her "why are you so controlling? why don't you chill out, relax, enjoy. I don't wanna deal with your problems right now. So you deal with yourself Your Way, or it's gonna be "My Way" and if it's my way, then it's the High Way.
E) Tell her "Lets go take a journey of self discovery. Come, you'll need it." Then lead her to her fantasies, understand??
Edited by CountFury#1192 on 7/17/2013 4:36 PM PDT
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