Girlfriend dumped me, should I join the Coven

Lore and Story
I was in an inn one day, drowning my sorrows after the farmer's daughter ditched me for some scoundrel from Kingsport when I struck up a conversation with an old friend named Bob. What he was saying was making a lot of sense. There is this new religious movement out there. The gods and the heavens have abandoned us. The coven offers a new way, a new beginning for mankind. Demons, as bad as they are, are the only ones we can depend on, and when the evils rise again, its guaranteed that we will be eaten last.

Sounds like a good deal to me. What do you think?
I heard they've got great health insurance... not so good on the life insurance though. They won't insure against acts of godlike nepahlem.

Someone in Alcarnus said the initiation was to cover yourself in barbeque sauce and run from one end of the Stinging Sands to the other. No thanks... Being a Lacuni's lunch doesn't sound like much fun.
being covered in barbecue sauce doesn't seem so bad, where do I sign ?
I'd join but yellow just doesn't look good on me, maybe if they had purple cloaks instead.
I heard the scoundrel is a sworn enemy of the coven. I know the are after some nepha-something but its just one person, how hard can it be to take them down. One of my friends has aquired this yellow glow and ever since he has these cool powers. He gets paid a lot too as he is always dropping coins his wallet is so full. I hope I can achieve that.
I wouldn't. Been in a cult before. Long story short, had my eyebrows singed off and my skin was peeling for an entire week. Don't make the same mistake as I did and go join them.

But then, I'd rather die than see my world burn. No literally, I'd rather be one of the first to die than to see my family, friends, aquantices, and home get destroyed.
Well actually there is supposed to be a new dawn afterward where demons, who actually listen to our prayers will remake the world in an orderly way.
Really? Sweet, this makes the yellow robes SOOOO worth it!
I'm just saying I'm not going down that road again. Don't let me stop you, it's your life.
I heard there's a hefty reward to anyone who gets rid of the Nephelumps and the Woosles that tag around with it.
Can you believe that scoundrel from kingsport is with ANOTHER farmers daughter. I saw them together at the Inn in Tristram. I was just done with talking to a recruiter about my initiation when I saw them together.

Also these Nephalem are so egomaniacal, planting their flags all around the way point. What's their deal?
Makes me remember how the Grand Inquisitor in the Halls of Agony, wrote memos , and he sounds like some Manager telling his employee to finish before the dead line lol.
those Nephos are really stupid, too. My uncle is a trader in Tristram and he's made millions from repairing their stuff. 30.000 gold for broken shoelace. It's ridiculous, those guys will pay anything.
we mostly cast incantations all day, not much action. I can summon some cool hell beasts now
A Typical Day in the Life of a Cultist:

4:30 AM: Morning Incantations
5:00 AM: Sunrise Laps around Alcarnus
5:30 AM: Breakfast
5:45 AM: Group Teamwork Meeting
6:00 AM: Have "Teeth of Diablo" spike driven into the back of your neck
6:15 AM: Pound a staff on the ground, hope something happens
12:00 PM: Have spike removed
12:15 PM: Lunch
12:45 PM: Stand in a huge circle and try to summon demons
3:00 PM: Round up some townfolk for tomorrow's summoning
5:00 PM: Evening Incantations
5:30 PM: Dinner
6:00 PM: Evening Laps around Alcarnus
6:30 PM: Bury yourself in sand, wait for Nephalem to show up
6:46 PM: Meet Nephalem, Shout "You will be a thorn in our side no longer!"
6:46:03 PM: Meet your end in an explosion of blood and gore

Join the Conversation

Return to Forum