Ask Kerrigan: Advice from the Queen of Blades

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Dear Kerrigan:

Hey Pretty Baby With The High Heels On
You Give Me Fever
Like I've Never, Ever Known
You're Just A Product Of Loveliness
I Like The Groove Of Your Walk,
Your Talk, Your Dress
I Feel Your Fever
From Miles Around
I'll Pick You Up In My Car
And We'll Paint The Town
Just Kiss Me Baby
And Tell Me Twice
That You're The One For Me


The Way You Make Me Feel
(The Way You Make Me Feel)
You Really Turn Me On
(You Really Turn Me On)
You Knock Me Off Of My Feet
(You Knock Me Off Of
My Feet)
My Lonely Days Are Gone
(My Lonely Days Are Gone)




Errr... I have no idea how, but I ran into life and water instead of lava and rock... something about this is odd I'll look around to find out the cause...
I've got some research done on the protoss, not much, but every tip counts. VS Zealot, try using roaches to deal with them for a advantage or use a infestor or 2 and use fungal growth on them and use hydralisks to kill them.
VS Stalker, evolve Metabolic Boost and use a large swarm of zerglings to surround them or hydralisks with grooved spines to attack them

Justin
I hope your getting this

Dear Kerrigan

I know this protoss group! I've had a run in with them when I became a commander.
This group I AM REALLY GLAD TO KILL! THEY HAVE TAKEN THE WHOLE PLANET! I'm also in space, near a star that will go supernova in five hours, by some strange protoss teleporter...
wait OH GOSH, THIS PLACE IS GETTING SUCKED BY THE GRAVITY OF THE SUPERGIANT STAR! If I can get the the teleporter, I will be able to get my terran team out when the supergiant goes black hole!

Reporting in, Justin
Dearest Queen,

I've been a loyal servant for quite some time (four days) and I noticed one of my fellow Overlord brothers got an iPod for his birthday AND he's going on a trip! I'm trying not to be jealous but it's hard. How do you deal with jealousy?!

Sincerely,
Overlord 2445691AG.45
Hey there, I hope your getting this (or at least got this recorded) This is a race up in the place before I can activate the portal back to where I last was, whats happening now, is a race, hellions are up at the starting line, now this determines who gets the promotion from hellion to s. tank! The race starts in.... 3 2 1 GO
The race is massive, and a nuclear launch for fireworks at the end, then 10 min later, the portal is set up, and the black hole comes
Dearest Queen,

I've been a loyal servant for quite some time (four days) and I noticed one of my fellow Overlord brothers got an iPod for his birthday AND he's going on a trip! I'm trying not to be jealous but it's hard. How do you deal with jealousy?!

Sincerely,
Overlord 2445691AG.45


Dear Overlord Serial Number Two-four-four-five-six-nine-one-alpha-golf-point-four-five,

Jealousy is a natural part the zerg's existence. In order to satisfy that urge, you feel the need to take greater spoils, evolve new features, and generally outperform your overlord brother. This is a natural part of evolution and helps to keep my forces growing. On top of that, it is impossible for these jealous feelings to betray the Swarm because of my presence within you.
So, my answer is to prove to him that you can do better. Since he's going on a trip to scout the Protoss base, why don't you head on over to the Terrans and see if they have any marines yet?

Regards,
Kerrigan



Hey there, I hope your getting this (or at least got this recorded) This is a race up in the place before I can activate the portal back to where I last was, whats happening now, is a race, hellions are up at the starting line, now this determines who gets the promotion from hellion to s. tank! The race starts in.... 3 2 1 GO
The race is massive, and a nuclear launch for fireworks at the end, then 10 min later, the portal is set up, and the black hole comes


Dear Justin,

We regret to inform you that you have failed to volunteer one of your limbs for your late fee. We are sending an agent to select a limb for you, sever it, and return it to the hive cluster. Until then your psionic link will continue to be blocked.

On behalf of Kerrigan,
Infested Adjutunt
~Overlord 2445691AG.45 squishes in delight at his query being answered... his jealousy subsides~
Dear Kerrigan,

I wonder if I should stop playing as terran and switch to zerg,
which is better terran or zerg.

Your friends friend,
Cabam
oh... Didnt notice that... Well, able to regenerate lost limbs... ok here the agent... hrm... which one now? Again with the left arm, last time it was just the hand when it was blown off. ok late limb... errr i never seen this arm and this 2 legs, my preinfested human limbs regenerate, while my zerg dont, here have these 3 late (or early/on time ones) limbs, ok... which planet now? This needs to be answered, or this will take forever, im guessing... char?

Justin
is 6-pool zergling rush always=win on maps without roadblocks (destructible racks blocking ramps)?
Dear Mommy,

Thanks for the head rub, belly rub next time?

Hunter Killer #4
i rofled at that lolwsz
KERRIGAN

IM IN EXTREME TROUBLE! THE PROTOSS ARE CLOSING IN ON OUR POSITION, EVEN AS I SPEAK, THE PROTOSS ARE SENDING THEIR MOST POWERFUL FORCES TO TAKE OUT THE BIGGEST MENICE TO THEM, ME, BECAUSE THESE WERE THE ONES THAT HAD ONLY ONE TERRAN TEAM SURVIVE THEIR WRATH, MY GROUP OF FREEDOM FIGHERS, THE FORGOTTEN FREEDOM!

REPORTING IN

JUSTIN!!!
Dear Kerrigan,

I'm just wondering when I'll be put back on the front lines? Currently I'm burrowed on some infested planet which I honestly don't remember the name of. In this long absence from combat I've been improving my aim with my spines on unsuspecting Zerglings which constantly annoy me by running over the ground where I've burrowed myself. I mean I know you couldn't have forgotten me and neither those slightly improved roaches or those odd baneling things with the suicidal tendencies could honestly replace me. So just send me a Nydus Worm or an Overlord with that new speed enhancing carapace and ventral sacs and I'll be happy to start defending bases or burrowing myself near the enemy mineral lines to effectively cut off their income. Just don't forget to send me some backup to take care of those pesky detectors.

For the Swarm,

Drago the Lurking Lurker
Dear Kerrigan,

I'm just wondering when I'll be put back on the front lines? Currently I'm burrowed on some infested planet which I honestly don't remember the name of. In this long absence from combat I've been improving my aim with my spines on unsuspecting Zerglings which constantly annoy me by running over the ground where I've burrowed myself. I mean I know you couldn't have forgotten me and neither those slightly improved roaches or those odd baneling things with the suicidal tendencies could honestly replace me. So just send me a Nydus Worm or an Overlord with that new speed enhancing carapace and ventral sacs and I'll be happy to start defending bases or burrowing myself near the enemy mineral lines to effectively cut off their income. Just don't forget to send me some backup to take care of those pesky detectors.

For the Swarm,

Drago the Lurking Lurker


Dear Drago,

I regret to inform you that there are no enemies of the swarm on the infested planet where you are stationed. Additionally, our new transports are far more biologically temperamental and will not carry Lurkers. Something about the new Zerg strain being incompatible with your "outdated" strain.
If the Terrans invade that world, then you may return to join the fight. Otherwise, simply remain there until I figure out just what to do with you.

Miss you every day,
Kerrigan

----

Dear Justin,

The limb you have donated to the hive has been scanned to contain an impure zerg strain. Your psionic link will continue to be blocked until we can purge the foreign element in your body and restore your blood to normal. In the meantime, please avoid contact with Terran or Protoss, if you allow them to come too close your infestation may be in jeopardy and the queen shall have to destroy you.

On behalf of Kerrigan,
Infested Adjutunt
Dear Kerrigan,


Hi.

Sincerely,

Goofyfoot
Dear Kerrigan,

I thank you for the response, and am saddened by this turn of events, so I shall continue to remain here burrowed, should you ever need a lurker I'll be waiting in the shadows, ready to impale unsuspecting enemies.

For the Swarm,
Drago the Lurking Lurker
Dear Kerrigan.

I am finding out i HATE starcraft, and especially starcraft players. with their wanna be ellitism, whiney little maggots bending their knees to the devil; to the blizzard control grid, thinking they are special when ...its a lie!, just like every other institution on the planet (sniff sniff)... ive lost all faith in everything (boo hoo sniff boo)... what can i dooo?
Dear Kerrigan,

So... are you like, human now? or like a human zerg hybrid? I'm so confused.
dear kerrigan,

do you watch the terran news

sincerly,
kate lockwell

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