Ask Kerrigan: Advice from the Queen of Blades

Joeyray's Bar
Prev 1 24 25 26 29 Next
*Stoops into a depressed ball*
Sigh lets try this.....


Dear Kerrigan:
Do you want to go invade some Fringe colony sometimes? I heard Haven is new and is thriving.....So if your not busy maybe you and I could transfer to Haven on the next Overlord?

You Servant
Infested Aliasing
Suddenly switches on, while asleep


...No, you cant... Whats happening here... great, I cant finish my ghost suit yet... Oh Gosh WHAT? Criminal group... location 436154636? Im going over... reapers...

Turns off
*Stoops into a depressed ball*
Sigh lets try this.....


Dear Kerrigan:
Do you want to go invade some Fringe colony sometimes? I heard Haven is new and is thriving.....So if your not busy maybe you and I could transfer to Haven on the next Overlord?

You Servant
Infested Aliasing


Dear Infested Aliasing,

I'm sorry, but I already have plans to transport infested terrans to Haven. Going myself would take me away from more important duties, and I need you to guard our terran tech. I do intend to make a proper invasion so I'm going to have a most trusted individual bring them there. He'll come through.

Your queen,
Kerrigan
Dear Kerrigan,

So... are you like, human now? or like a human zerg hybrid? I'm so confused.


Yes, indeed tell us.
wait, NO THE DIMINION IS A BIGGER THREAT, SEND IT ON THEIR PLANETS!
OH GOSH I FORGOT, I installed zerg nukes on the planet before i got infested... (sorta)
The planet will kill all zerg in the area, terran are immune! Infested terrans are just sick... And the cure is 50% done... But its only a threat to infested terrans... I still have my duties as a protecter of the inoccent... And... I know jim raynor, choosing to have some dr. have more time on the cure, he killed some protoss and a "purifyer!" Infested terrans are just sick... And the cure is 50% done... But its only a threat to infested terrans... My terran side is dominant on this one, ether call back on this one, or have your zerg force squashed at my hand!

Seriously

Justin
Sorry about that... I just woke up from a very terrible flashback, the time I lost my friend... It was a criminal group that killed him... and I cant recall their name...
Look, the nukes and jim stuff are true... but... instead of me killing your zerg. Its just ko bullets, not killing bullets if you go there... listen, I dont want any trouble at all, Im sorry about that message i sent earlyer, just seeing my friend blown apart... I-I-I'm s-sorry, I h-have to g-g-g-go...
Dear Kerrigan,

KEKEKEKEKE ?

keke.
Dear Kerrigan,
I am a humble Ultralisk but i have some concerns that should be pointed out.
The first one is why can me and my brothers step over the small buggers you call zerglings? Serisly it is quit annoying that a swarm of zerglings are surrounding everything and I can Not use my giant oversized scissors.
The second is are you a terran or zerg? Or a hybrid? Since your hair is the same but everything else reeks of those foul smelling terrans.
The third is why can I not carry units as a ground tank? Being able to carry lots of zerglings then have them climb off of me will really help with their swarming

That is all,
Sincerly,
Genc The Humble Ultralisk
[Start psi transmission]
Hello, master.

I want to bring to your attention the case of us cerebrates.What the hell has happened to counter evolution!? Our underlings keep getting shot up by puny terran forces and protoss templars/stalkers. Can you PLEASE evolve better counters to our enemies.

Sincerely,
Cerebrate (and former Terran commander) Bunker
[End psi transmission]
I cant help you with terran, but I will help you with the protoss, whats your situation?

Justin
They keep either massing carriers if im going air or massing robotic units if i go land i cant counter fast enough!

bunker(i dont bunker down anymore btw)
Location, I can moblize my terran team (The will even do this, which shows their loyalty, besides, I keep them alive) to the area when said
Dont tell me your dead...
... Wait Tarsonis... Heading there now... if i had my ship, dont attack the blue battlecruisers, or... hope you enjoyed your life!
Dear Kerrigan;

Can you please make that idiot Justin stfu already?

Please.





PLEASE.

Also, morph a new xeno capable of dealing with this so-called bio ball the humans are using. Bio ball? Bio balls = banelings. Humans don't have banelings. Wtf?!

That is all.

Your newest recruit,
Murky the Infested Murloc.

Edit: Btw, Mrrrrgggmgmrmrmrmrmrgmgmrgmrmgrmgmrgmrgmrmgmrgmrlgllglrgmrlgmrlmgrlmrlgmrlglrglrmglrmglrmlrmglrmglrmlllglglmgmgrmmrmgmgr!
Dear Kerrigan,
I am the immortal will of a small and insignificant zergling in the Fenris brood. For whatever reason, I have been reincarnated in a new speedling body 4,322 times. I am in constant agony, and my misfortune is the stuff of legends. I have been perforated by bullets 2,200 times, incinerated 1000 times, melted 511 times, starved to death 400 times, eaten at a terran barbecue ten times, and once I was !#@@d to death by the hillbillies on the planet Deliverance 5. In recognition to my loyal service to your cause, please help me find a way to know the sweet release of oblivion. Alternatively, I would accept being reincarnated in an ultralisk's body.

-Eternally Yours, the saddest zergling.
Dear Kerrigan,
I am the immortal will of a small and insignificant zergling in the Fenris brood. For whatever reason, I have been reincarnated in a new speedling body 4,322 times. I am in constant agony, and my misfortune is the stuff of legends. I have been perforated by bullets 2,200 times, incinerated 1000 times, melted 511 times, starved to death 400 times, eaten at a terran barbecue ten times, and once I was !#@@d to death by the hillbillies on the planet Deliverance 5. In recognition to my loyal service to your cause, please help me find a way to know the sweet release of oblivion. Alternatively, I would accept being reincarnated in an ultralisk's body.

-Eternally Yours, the saddest zergling.


And the other 200 deaths?
It was 210 deaths, and in all of those cases, I was brutally vivisected by Terran mathematicians.
I remember the ones who killed my friend were hired mercinaries... Cant recall their na- OH GOSH, ONE MORE REASON TO HATE THE DIMINION, THE MERCINARIES WERE HIRED BY ARCTURUS MENGSK, THE ONE WHO DID THIS TO YOU KERRIGAN, (not sure if you like it or not, but I remember you have a grudge against him) WHEN I SEE HIM... I'LL-
Transmition interupted.

Join the Conversation

Return to Forum