Ask Kerrigan: Advice from the Queen of Blades

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Dear Kerrigan:

Please send me more Zerglings. They are so fun to wipe out with my Colossui brethren.

Thanks!


SPAWN MOAR OVERLORDS.



LOL

"Hey babe, this may be a little weird but.. would you mind yelling 'SPAWN MORE OVERLORDS" at me in a deep demonic voice while we have sex?

..Why?

No reason. <3"

Dear Kerrigan,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AipPj6wx8pQ&feature=related

That is all.

Regards,
Disgruntled ultralisk
Dear Kerrigan,
I think there's a rogue zerg/protoss plot to conquer Earth. Because I saw this movie that had these burrowed colossi with shields burst up out of the ground, lay waste to the terrans, and then proceed to spawn some sort of creep. Your thoughts on the matter?
Dear Kerrigan,

Stop 6 pooling.
Amazing folks...Just amazing...
So full of win. Crying laughing.
Pretty much everything in this thread made me chuckle. I absolutely loved it. :)
if only we had more ppl posting as kerrigan...
Good post :P
Dear my beloved Queen,

I have recently joined the ranks of the Swarm and my bile filled chest swells with pride but I've noticed these postules on my face are begining to be a concern, should I be worried?

Best Regards,

Your indentured servent.
[Spoiler Alert]

Dearest Sarah,

I find myself in an odd predicament.

When I crashed my Carrier into the Overmind, channeling both Khala and Void energies I had thought that I would finally be granted peace in death, however this is not the case.

Lately I've found myself appearing as a ghostly apparition in visions, crystals and many late-night fantasies of zealous fans...

What should I do?

Sincerely,
Former Executor turned apparition.
En taro... me.
Dear Kerrigan,

A few days ago I was trapped in a Blizzard while climbing Mountain Dew. I decided to check with Dr. Pepper per Mr. Pib's request to make sure my Bioware was in good shape for my Bungie jump at Green River in a few days. After giving me Activison I met Ben & Jerry to go over the A & W of Colgate's Schedule one last time but soon the Sierra Mist came in and the shmuckers at Hershey network called it off.

My question is, how can I beat around the Dove to continue to do what I wish without all the Red Bull?

Your Absolut,

Product Placement
Dear Kerrigan,

I hope this letter finds you well, your majesty. Due to some biological anomoly with one of the hive queens, I was birthed as zergling at the same exact time as 17 of my twin brothers, which is normal, I know... but I also seemed to be missing the hardened, um..."carapace" bits that drive my brothers viciously into the front lines to destroy, or otherwise ingest all opposition.

You see, when my Overlord issued the rush command for our squadron, I burrowed myself. I know I did the wrong thing and I fear that I may be responsible for the deaths of many of my roach superiors. As much as they used to pick on me, I know that they would at least die for the swarm. But, I don't like war, my Lady. I am pretty sure that I'm just a drone stuck in a zergling body. I love collecting things... and, I have always been reluctant to leave the Lair. My BFF Chuck is a drone, and he suggested that I write you about my problem.

SO... this letter comes to you by way of Overseer mail, in hopes that I may beg forgiveness of the swarm; from a safe distance. I still lay in wait beneath the soil, knowing that I have been a disappointment to you.

If you could find it in your chitinous shell of a human form to forgive me, I promise to gather more minerals than all the other drones, and will even work over time.

Your humble coward,

Gary the Droneling

P.S. please don't turn me into a baneling
Dear Kerrigan,

I hope this letter finds you well, your majesty. Due to some biological anomoly with one of the hive queens, I was birthed as zergling at the same exact time as 17 of my twin brothers, which is normal, I know... but I also seemed to be missing the hardened, um..."carapace" bits that drive my brothers viciously into the front lines to destroy, or otherwise ingest all opposition.

You see, when my Overlord issued the rush command for our squadron, I burrowed myself. I know I did the wrong thing and I fear that I may be responsible for the deaths of many of my roach superiors. As much as they used to pick on me, I know that they would at least die for the swarm. But, I don't like war, my Lady. I am pretty sure that I'm just a drone stuck in a zergling body. I love collecting things... and, I have always been reluctant to leave the Lair. My BFF Chuck is a drone, and he suggested that I write you about my problem.

SO... this letter comes to you by way of Overseer mail, in hopes that I may beg forgiveness of the swarm; from a safe distance. I still lay in wait beneath the soil, knowing that I have been a disappointment to you.

If you could find it in your chitinous shell of a human form to forgive me, I promise to gather more minerals than all the other drones, and will even work over time.

Your humble coward,

Gary the Droneling

P.S. please don't turn me into a baneling


Win times a million. This is awesome funny xD
dear Kerrigan,

my Zerg queen has way too many creep tumors coming out of her...what kind of pepto do you use in order to control that?

We have creep EVERYWHERE and my little drones and zerglings cant find their toys anymore...please help!!

Sincerely,

Creeped Out!!
Dear Kerrigan,

I hope this letter finds you well, your majesty. Due to some biological anomoly with one of the hive queens, I was birthed as zergling at the same exact time as 17 of my twin brothers, which is normal, I know... but I also seemed to be missing the hardened, um..."carapace" bits that drive my brothers viciously into the front lines to destroy, or otherwise ingest all opposition.

You see, when my Overlord issued the rush command for our squadron, I burrowed myself. I know I did the wrong thing and I fear that I may be responsible for the deaths of many of my roach superiors. As much as they used to pick on me, I know that they would at least die for the swarm. But, I don't like war, my Lady. I am pretty sure that I'm just a drone stuck in a zergling body. I love collecting things... and, I have always been reluctant to leave the Lair. My BFF Chuck is a drone, and he suggested that I write you about my problem.

SO... this letter comes to you by way of Overseer mail, in hopes that I may beg forgiveness of the swarm; from a safe distance. I still lay in wait beneath the soil, knowing that I have been a disappointment to you.

If you could find it in your chitinous shell of a human form to forgive me, I promise to gather more minerals than all the other drones, and will even work over time.

Your humble coward,

Gary the Droneling

P.S. please don't turn me into a baneling



ABSOLUTELY CLASSIC!!!!
haha yes at the droneling!
Dear Kerrigan,

When are you going to infest those cursed Terran Reapers? All they do is zoom around with those pathetic jetpacks picking us all off. The zerglings are all lazy they sit there and dance all day long.

With panic,
Your loyal Drone

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