OPEN rp THE ATTACk ON ZERUS (zerg homeworld)

Joeyray's Bar
Post Limit:
*you here a strange crackling sound*
(are raynor's raiders assisting?)
*you hear a strange crackling sound*
Tassadar, I think the reason your story is not taking off is you are saying "alternate reality" and the opening plot leaves something to be desired.

See "The Crash" for a decent opening example.

Or: You wake up in a fog. You were sent to capture Zerus, but were shot down and...

Something like that.

English teachers will tell you having a good 'hook' is essential to an essay or story.
Are protoss the swarm race? :P
Looks up Protoss in dictionary.

...

It's not there! 0.o

... No, they aren't a swarm race.
*you hear a strange crackling sound*

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