Thundercrash's Soul access Realm

Joeyray's Bar
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Greetings everyone!

If you are reading this, then welcome to my new store. I missed having a business, and Zanon was doing well with my bar, so I made this one. This isn't a cover for a secret operation to create a multidimensional bridge that will be solely for my use in obliterating/ruling over certain forms of existence. It was so beautiful..........

Ahem, ignore that. In this store, you can find anything you can think of, and if I don't have it, I can get it, so long as you don't ask how, because everything exists somewhere. Plus, you can take as long as you want to pay me, it all goes on your tab. Just remember that if you do create a tab, large portions of your consciousness will be transferred to specialized crystals, and will be used as part of a project to create a revolutionary new, eternal power source.

Don't worry, you'll still have full use of your body, and you'll be fine as long as your crystal isn't damaged, but just be aware that a link is automatically created between you and your crystal when you enter here, and that I will be keeping possession of your consciousness until such time that you pay your tab. If your crystal is destroyed, you will be reduced to mental wreck that is incapable of doing even the simplest tasks. In short, if you don't pay your tab, your soul belongs to me.

Don't you just love the E.U.L.A? So look around, if I can't get something, then it doesn't exist in any form of reality.
Can I write an article on this later?
Fine. Just don't go down into the storage basement. That's where I'm keeping my secret installlaaauuuuuiiiiiiiiiooooooo merchandise.
Hello, Thundercrash. I was just wondering. What does a soul crystal do? You said you would give one to everyody if at least one person didn't go into a coma from over-stimulation.
Glad you asked. A soul crystal is basically a rock that absorbs energy. When it contains enough, it will be able to manipulate its own crystalline structure. As its store of energy increases, it can imitate other objects. I've even noticed some advanced formations gaining sentience, so it's entirely possible that you could grow your own crystalline based life form. When it becomes completely saturated, any excess energy absorbed will be converted into new crystal, which can be used to create another soul crystal. The process takes several years, so you have to be dedicated if you want to cultivate a personality, but overall it's very low maintenance, since the stone just absorbs and lives off of ambient energy of any form.
uhhh can i get some soul crystals? wanna make a new candy with them
That may not be a good idea. These things start absorbing energy immediately after coming in contact with their environment. A stone small enough to fit in the palm of your hand can contain approximately the same amount of energy as a handful of D-8 charges.
exactly why i want to use them!!!
02/14/2012 02:05 PMPosted by Thundercrash
Glad you asked. A soul crystal is basically a rock that absorbs energy. When it contains enough, it will be able to manipulate its own crystalline structure. As its store of energy increases, it can imitate other objects. I've even noticed some advanced formations gaining sentience, so it's entirely possible that you could grow your own crystalline based life form. When it becomes completely saturated, any excess energy absorbed will be converted into new crystal, which can be used to create another soul crystal. The process takes several years, so you have to be dedicated if you want to cultivate a personality, but overall it's very low maintenance, since the stone just absorbs and lives off of ambient energy of any form.


So you're saying that if I were to blast a soul crystal with electricity from my tesla coil constantly, then assuming I could play the no doubt very high electrical bill I would now have, I would eventually get a sentiant crystal?
Yes, but it would still take a few years, and I wouldn't recommend touching it until several months after it starts manipulating its form. They tend to react to outside stimulus after the first 9 years or so. I'm training my oldest one to be my assistant. See, there she is, the pretty red one with the long hair over by the anti-matter generators? She hasn't figured out yet how to change color, but she's working on it. I figure, in another couple years, you wouldn't know she was made of flexible rock by looking at her.


Oh, Ruby, no, don't push that, having your arm annihilated hurts.
Will the crystal obey my every command? If so, then I'll have two please.
02/14/2012 02:38 PMPosted by InFinitY
Will the crystal obey my every command? If so, then I'll have two please.


If you are willing to wait approximately 13 years for them to gain sentience, and then put in the hours to train them to obey your commands, then yes. That will be about:

13,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 credits. Each.

Hey, these things ain't cheap to acquire. You have no idea what the conditions are like for these things to form on their own.
O.o



Can I have a fairly advanced soul crystal formation please? I am going to try to make a sentient mothership. And also please give me a crystal that does not have too aggressive a personality.
02/14/2012 02:47 PMPosted by ace
Do you have any... *whispers to thundercrash* Any early heart of swarm machines?


Gimme a sec.......

*disappears into the basement, then comes back*

Wadda they look like?
02/14/2012 02:43 PMPosted by Thundercrash
13,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 credits. Each.


Each? Then that will cost 26,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 credits! *Throws a few credit cards on the table* Totally worth it.
That's 45 zeros... I only know the terms up to the trillions, and that's only 15 zeros...
O.o



Can I have a fairly advanced soul crystal formation please? I am going to try to make a sentient mothership. And also please give me a crystal that does not have too aggressive a personality.


If you can afford it. The older these things are, the more expensive they get, since I have to be compensated for the energy costs of developing them. For what you're asking, it'll be about 13,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,013,000,000,000,000.

Personalities are learned through observation, kind of like how an infant child develops their personality. I have to sell them with a clean slate, otherwise it's technically slavery, and I'm not allowed to do that. These things aren't pets, you know. We're talking about an intelligent, sentient, living (in a variable sense of the word) creature.
02/14/2012 02:51 PMPosted by InFinitY
13,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 credits. Each.


Each? Then that will cost 26,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 credits! *Throws a few credit cards on the table* Totally worth it.



*hands the cards to a half grown blue soul crystal, then takes them back*

Maxed out. What else ya got?

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