08/12/2013 05:48 PMPosted by ShadowFuryI yell "LOBSTER-Y-MAGICAL-POWERS-ACTIVATE" while pointing a staff at KnarledOne, who gets hit by a magical bolt and turns into Zoidberg, except he can spit acid and has a lightsaber.
*Pulls out lobster bib, knife, fork, and flamethrower* LOBSTER TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!
My ship, the Slender I, lands on all of the combatants, roasting and squishing them all.
I crawl out from under the landing gear, half my body gone. "Nice try! BUT YOU CAN NEVER KILL ME!" A child starts to walk towards me with a giant sledge hammer hidden behind their back. "What's that? A hammer? What are you doing? NO! DON'T DO IT! DEAR GOD, STOP! I NEEDED THAT ARM TO MAKE MY ESCAPE! YOU ARE GOING TO HELL, CHILD! GREAT! NOW ALL I AM IS A HEAD! DON'T YOU DARE RAISE THAT HAMMER AGAIN! GOD DAMN IT! I'LL BE BA-" The child merrily runs away with a hammer next to the splattered puddle that was me.
"You get to be the bartender at the Mossy Lisa Sports Bar on the desert planet of Catooine, where the moronic Crutt Fekit rules. Fekit has to try and bum money off of the far more successful Raven the Cutt, as such no one is safe from being kidnapped by his Kitten Guard and sold off to Raven as slaves."
I sit down and watch everything from a distance, uncaring of who won. I took no side, as usual, however, but still smiled, listening to the bets behind me.