Social anxiety and WoW

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I have social anxiety in real life and it also extends into WoW. I'm really glad you made this thread, because I thought that I was alone.

I'm fine with grouping and leveling in dungeons, but I haven't made a real friend on WoW in a few years since my old guild disbanded at the beginning of Cata. I've never entered a raid and I haven't been in a heroic since last November. PvP is out of the question, as is tanking and healing (Druid healing is fine with me for some reason).

I mostly level alts and go achievement hunting. I have a great time and I really enjoy it, but sometimes I wish that I could just join a raiding guild like everyone else, yeah?

edit because redundancy is redundant.
04/12/2012 04:27 PMPosted by Evangelos
I'm impressed with the WoW community now. So far, the most I've ever seen of this community is "lol l2p nub qq" but this genuinely gives me hope for it.


I feel exactly the same way. This has been amazing.

04/12/2012 04:27 PMPosted by Evangelos
So yeah, what you're doing is great. Shame that I lack the money to cross over to your realm and also my main being on Alliance. :(


You should still keep in touch. We're finalizing things on Wyrmrest Accord right now. We're Horde side, but feel free to roll a lowbie and see how things are with us.
Let me start off by saying that I am no doctor so take what I say with a grain of salt.

The way I see it, anxiety issues can be born from low self-esteem or low levels of confidence. I believe one way of increasing self confidence is exercise and training. You may not have to directly deal with people either, depending on the type of exercise you do. A strong body = a strong mind, or something like that.

I'm not saying exercise would solve any deep rooted issues but it may make things a little easier. There are mental and physical health benefits to working out.
Let me start off by saying that I am no doctor so take what I say with a grain of salt.

The way I see it, anxiety issues can be born from low self-esteem or low levels of confidence. I believe one way of increasing self confidence is exercise and training. You may not have to directly deal with people either, depending on the type of exercise you do. A strong body = a strong mind, or something like that.

I'm not saying exercise would solve any deep rooted issues but it may make things a little easier. There are mental and physical health benefits to working out.


I use to jog twice a week, lift weights, eat right, I did Wing Chun Kung fu for 3 years (and went to class doing it five times a week plus working the day shifts) and I walked occasionally. I'm still the same person even though I was in great shape. It helped me feel better in a healthy way sure, but it didn't help me cope much with the way I feel about crowds. lol
I'm elitist (apparently stating to someone that just because he CAN queue doesn't mean he SHOULD makes me elitist), snarky, and impatient. I don't mind helping, but when people make the same mistakes over and over I lose interest and just get irritated. So I'm kind of anti social in that I don't think too highly of other players in terms of their ability to perform, until they prove otherwise. And ultimately, I can't be bothered with those who aren't as fast paced/quick learning as I am.
So many SAD penguins...

It's a daily struggle. I've probably spent 10x as much time thinking about what I should say, or should have said, than I've spent talking in my entire life. The worst is when some jerk acts all jerky, and their jerkitude gets stuck in my head for hours while I think of all the cool/funny/mean things I could have said, if I hadn't been too flustered to think of them at the time...

I think the guild is a lovely idea.
So many SAD penguins...

It's a daily struggle. I've probably spent 10x as much time thinking about what I should say, or should have said, than I've spent talking in my entire life. The worst is when some jerk acts all jerky, and their jerkitude gets stuck in my head for hours while I think of all the cool/funny/mean things I could have said, if I hadn't been too flustered to think of them at the time...

I think the guild is a lovely idea.


We just got things started on Wyrmrest Accord, Horde side, if you'd like to roll a lowbie and give us a try. Everyone's welcome.
"I'm afraid to run into talkative people in public, and I really don't want anyone to get to know me personally."

This made me giggle. Because my husband and I are both the same way. When either of us see someone we know in public and we don't really want to talk to this particular individual, we both go "Ruuuunnn!" and hide in the next aisle or something. lol It's silly, I know.

It's also nerve racking sharing this because im afraid someone will come out & call me crazy or steretype me as well you know how people steretype if your different.


Trust me, I know how you feel. And you're not crazy because you're not as social as society says you ought to be. It's like some unwritten rule that anyone who is introverted and isn't particularly a people person is weird and has mental problems. Definately not saying being socially anxious should be considered normal behavior, but I hate labeling and being labeled as the crazy person because someone isn't the life of the party so to speak.

04/12/2012 02:04 PMPosted by Cantafrond
You definitely should, because if nothing else, you've made me feel much better about doing this.


Glad I could help. I think it's wonderful that this thread is getting so much support. :)

Edit because I suck at quoting.
I suffer from social anxiety.

And I'd NEVER join your guild - because then you would know, I'd be marked and that would be even worse than suffering from it quietly and letting people think I'm simply anti-social.

I have GAD, and many social phobias, some of which I've worked through, many of which I have not. And the more fearful I get the worse my mood gets until I'm either crying or storming away in irritation because I just can't take any more stress.

I prefer to be in a regular guild, not to talk to people outright, but more to avoid vent. I'd rather type than talk, and I'd rather not do either if I can get away with it. People think I just don't talk much and that's fine with me.
Your certainly not the only one. I have Social Anxiety, too. Not as much on WoW, but irl. In WoW I'm always so afraid to tank a dungeon or queue for a raid because I may do something wrong and get yelled at. So I always stick to my comfort zone, afraid to step out of it.
Oh wow I thought I was one of the only ones who felt like this. I always feel nervous when replying to somone asking in Trade etc for a role or for their arena team, even though I really want to play and go I sometimes feel intimidated, idk why, because usually after I join up I do fine....
I'm Borderline and I get times when I get high anxiety. I've gone without going to the store to get food cause I didnt want people to see me cause I thought they would think i'm trash. I've been late to work because I had a wrinkle in my pants/shirt and had to wait for it to be out before I could leave. Like wise I've been late to prior jobs/going out because my hair wasnt done correctly and would redo it sometimes 4 or 5 times. Public places? yea when its night time, I don't want anyone to see me. So I know how everyone feels.
Ive had severe anxiety since I hit about 6. Its a lot better now but only because im getting regular help. Its nice to see others have the same, and serves to settle my anxietys a little.

I just wish i knew of an easy way to open up, or at least translate my crazy openness online to offline life. Online Im a chatterbox who cant stop tlaking. Offline Im so reserved and shy that I'll keep myself in a state of suffering rather than tell my bf what i want. Which recently ruined a really good err...moment >.<

How does one translate that split personality?
Damn i didn't know social anxiety was that severe. I hope you guys can overcome some of your fears. You're already pretty strong people to even have to go though that. I tip my hat to you guys, good luck!
I don't have social anxiety. I'm actually the complete opposite. I love meeting new people and I'm an actor at my local theatre. But I'm kinda self conscious about my actions and I was bullied a lot in school which gives me strength and scars I guess but I would love to join the guild if its okay for me to roll a new toon instead of transfer. Also its really nice of you to do this. I cant imagine how much courage it took to make this thread. :)
I'm probably not dealing with your real anxiety issues. I'm just a chicken. I seldom do any randoms unless I've got a friend or family member with me.

I play WOW for pleasure and entertainment and randoms with strangers stresses me out. Even group quests surprise me when they go easier than I thought they would.
In game my social anxiety is not so bad i keep to myself but i find playing pretty relaxing.

In real life its a problem though i am unemployed and have dropped out of uni and really don't know what i am doing with my life nor do i have any idea of how i am going to become a functioning member of society
I can relate. I spent the longest time letting my healer untouched because I was afraid to que for dungeons and level up without a group of close friends. I still don't run many heroics or raids because nobody ever offers any real advice to improve my skill, instead they would rather say something along the lines of "you suck". Funny thing is in school I always do great on any presentations or public speaking I have to do but it's just something about this game (probably the community) that makes me feel uncomfortable at times.
I don't have social anxiety. I'm actually the complete opposite. I love meeting new people and I'm an actor at my local theatre. But I'm kinda self conscious about my actions and I was bullied a lot in school which gives me strength and scars I guess but I would love to join the guild if its okay for me to roll a new toon instead of transfer. Also its really nice of you to do this. I cant imagine how much courage it took to make this thread. :)


Ironically, acting is often a safe haven for social anxiety maniacs like myself. Mainly because we dont have to BE ourselves, and are instead a character so people arnt really juduing US.

Unless you do Improv. I admore improv guys 1000x more than actos BECAUSE they are putting their true selves out there.

Kinda like how lots of comedians have personal issues.
I get a little Social Anxiety IRL, but not a lot in games. I was a former benzo addict, because of it. Saw someone with a username "Clonazepams" in the game, the other day, LOL. Was on that drug for years. I'm not the sort of person who likes to chat on Vent though or on the phone IRL. Not really much for chatting trivial stuff via keyboard, either. It's more of a I hate small talk thing, but some anxiety. The community of WoW is like a middle school though now, so not surprising that people get SA in this game, with all the brats quick to blame and yelling obscenities.

The game was actually a lot more nerve racking in vanilla though, because it was a lot harder. Groups wiped a lot more often and it took a lot more time to get things done, but the community wasn't nearly as bad.

Just try not to think about what others think. A lot of them are brats and it's just a damn game, anyway. You have to quit blaming yourself for things and can't dwell on what others say. F them...

I imagine this game attracts people with social anxiety, since you can play it in the comfort of your own home, so it's not surprising there are a good number of WoW players with SA.

Avoid benzos though, they will just hurt you in the long run. Good luck and face your fears! I know it's not that simple, but you will never get over your anxiety by avoiding things you are afraid of.

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