The Non-Elitist Guide to RP! (silly thread)

World’s End Tavern: Role-play and Fan Fiction
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01/06/2013 12:57 AMPosted by Hadrexion
Don't like being a Troll but want to RP one? BLOOD ELF-TROLL HALFBREED! (Obviously use the Blood Elf model!) Make sure to end EVERY sentence with "Mon", mon.


Mon, toss a few mons in the middle, mon, just be be sure, mon, that you're really driving, mon, the point home, bro.
If you're a War Veteran that has fought for years, facing rough battles against strong enemies, make sure you DON'T HAVE ANY SCARS. Scars indicate that you're a horrible fighter and you'll be a laughing stock. God forbid you were overpowered or slipped up when fighting!

Also, I hear the army allowed 18-23 year old men be commanders and sergeants. Because, the younger and more inexperienced you seriously are, the better. I mean, you're young. It's cool. You might suck, but you're good looking... so, does it matter? We don't need experienced, intelligent veterans who know what the f*ck they're doing.
If your character absolutely MUST have scars, they must be cool or sexy scars that show just how edgy and badass your character is.
Remember, all women in this game are beautiful, even the ugly Troll and Orc races. If you make them visually unattractive, you are a horrible, horrible person. Please avoid it at all costs so the pretty people don't put you down for being ugly.
01/07/2013 11:50 AMPosted by Riaviki
Remember, all women in this game are beautiful, even the ugly Troll and Orc races. If you make them visually unattractive, you are a horrible, horrible person. Please avoid it at all costs so the pretty people don't put you down for being ugly.


Take it to the extreme! Make them OMGKAWAIIDESU!! because EVERYONE loves anime and anime girls are the cutest and/or sexiest kinds of girls. On top of that, give them Japanese names, especially overused ones like Sakura, even though it makes no sense for your orc or blood elf to have them.
01/07/2013 05:52 PMPosted by Kailiang
even though it makes no sense for your orc


Off-topic mode for a moment, the Burning Blade Clan - especially its Blademasters - has a running Japanese naming theme. Should your character be a direct relative of one (the BBC's war vets were mostly killed off due to refusal to surrender), it would make sense.
Also, dwarves are the sexiest of all races; everybody knows it. I mean, just look at their horrible hairstyles, their flat faces, their lack of real customization... if you're playing a dwarf girl, make sure to make her a super-hot sex goddess who has her own personal harem wit hevery single race, including Horde races.
01/10/2013 02:38 PMPosted by Srdotsalot
Also, dwarves are the sexiest of all races; everybody knows it. I mean, just look at their horrible hairstyles, their flat faces, their lack of real customization... if you're playing a dwarf girl, make sure to make her a super-hot sex goddess who has her own personal harem wit hevery single race, including Horde races.


That's just stupid.

I'd never let blood elves in my harem.
That's just stupid.

I'd never let blood elves in my harem.


Mmmhmmm.
Make sure you are a female blood elf death knight who is half dragon

oh, and make sure you're wearing a very badly matching armorkini. Make sure your name has "death" in it or is some feminine word, like "sparkle" or something.

Oh, and make sure your description has "her armor fits tightly to her curves", or some description about her armor hugging her body.

And RP-date a troll or orc male.
Have contradicting descriptions in your MRP.

For example: "She's shy, yet she's bold, brave, and firey." "She's very skinny, yet has curves in the right spots." "He was hated by his family due to his looks. They saw him as hideous. In the orphanage, he made girls swoon because of his handsome looks." "He is very patient, but short tempered and reckless."
Have a good name! I hear that's important.
Always have demons horns, even if they are not a demon. Also if your a DK be part of the scourge and say how you think Arthats is awsome in EVERY capital city. Dont forget magical attacks and weapons cant hurt you as long as your a female in a metal bikini.
The immortal dragon that could destroy Azeroth in a heartbeat. Not to forget the fact that they are unkillable and are randomly in Stormwind getting drunk and having a good time.
Describe your character's T&A, or crotch if male, in great detail in your MRP. It is VERY necessary that other RPers know just how well-endowed your character is, even if your character is often covered up to the point that no one would know or notice if they take a glance at him or her.
Two genders? Why limit yourself? But men with female-parts are icky, so be sure you play a female with manly endowments. As big as you can make them, to really drive the point home. If you are draenei (who are obviously the sexiest) said endowments must be that of a horse, because hooves. But you're female too, so you also must have huge boobs. Possibly multiple pairs. Don't forget the copious and ridiculous amounts of intimate fluids spewing from various orifices like a ruptured pipeline at an offshore drilling facility. Be absolutely sure to openly brag about your various fetishes and advertise all the obscene acts you'll do for money and...

...wait, sorry, I thought this was The Goldshire Guide to ERP. Whoops.
Two genders? Why limit yourself? But men with female-parts are icky, so be sure you play a female with manly endowments. As big as you can make them, to really drive the point home. If you are draenei (who are obviously the sexiest) said endowments must be that of a horse, because hooves. But you're female too, so you also must have huge boobs. Possibly multiple pairs. Don't forget the copious and ridiculous amounts of intimate fluids spewing from various orifices like a ruptured pipeline at an offshore drilling facility. Be absolutely sure to openly brag about your various fetishes and advertise all the obscene acts you'll do for money and...

...wait, sorry, I thought this was The Goldshire Guide to ERP. Whoops.
Good light above, why do I have to be a writer? Why does my mind have to give everything detail? WHY!?
02/03/2013 04:13 AMPosted by Ezrà
Good light above, why do I have to be a writer? Why does my mind have to give everything detail? WHY!?


You're just imagining it.

I've SEEN it. Never go to Goldshire with your MRP addon enabled.
Want to be really creative? Ignore the lore. Just completely ignore it. True creativity comes from making up whatever the hell you want regardless of any rules and lore. It's not like -anyone- can just create a super-gorgeous, badass half-breed character with superspeshulpowers with a cool nickname like "Arch Angel", or "Raven", or "Dragon's Heart". The RPers who try to make fascinating, unique characters while fitting in the setting and lore of Warcraft are just holding themselves back, dumbing themselves down.

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Dogs, foxes, wolves, and other such animals are the same thing. Go ahead and make a Fox worgen, or a Pit Bull worgen, or a Jackal worgen.
Want to be really creative? Ignore the lore. Just completely ignore it. True creativity comes from making up whatever the hell you want regardless of any rules and lore. It's not like -anyone- can just create a super-gorgeous, badass half-breed character with superspeshulpowers with a cool nickname like "Arch Angel", or "Raven", or "Dragon's Heart". The RPers who try to make fascinating, unique characters while fitting in the setting and lore of Warcraft are just holding themselves back, dumbing themselves down.

-

Dogs, foxes, wolves, and other such animals are the same thing. Go ahead and make a Fox worgen, or a Pit Bull worgen, or a Jackal worgen.


And make sure you're an interesting race while you ignore the lore. Like "Shadow Lord". Now that's a race! Or, if you want to not draw all those lore-abiding haters, just add a "?" or a "??" (since more question marks means more questions) to the end of your in-game race. That way, you can be anything you like while looking like something completely different!

Also, never be shy about making up powers on the spot. Are you a blood death knight? Well, blood obviously means bloodbending! Never mind that their powers are focused on sapping life energy and only ever boil/corrupt blood. Your awesome, super DK powers make you freaking Hama or Tarrlok!

Edit: And you can never have too many titles, especially titles you made up on the spot.

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