Thundercrash's dimensional PRP Bar - vs. 32

Posts: 4,121
Welcome back, stranger, to the Roleplay Bar Dimension.

JoeyRay’s Bar is an excellent place to come to relax, to let the strain of obliterating your opponent in honorable combat drain away. I have been coming to this fine establishment for some time, and though I have enjoyed myself many times, I have noticed something lacking.

Drinks!

So, being the considerate man that I am, I have taken it upon myself to serve this much needed necessity. Patrons may partake from our fine range beverages, some only found here.

Drink menu:

A Jim Raynor -- Cheap, harsh, and served up warm in a filthy glass.

A Tychus Findlay -- You’re not actually sure what it is, but you spilled a few drops and the counter is still smoking.

The Zeratul -- It isn’t served to you, instead it appears from the shadows. Then, when you try to drink it, you experience weird visions and the glass disappears.

Zergling “Special” -- “Hello my baby, hello my honey, hello my rag-time gal…”

Firebat -- Burns goin’ down AND comin’ back up.

Psi-Storm -- Hits so hard you’ll remember what happened tomorrow, yesterday.

Grounds for Divorce -- Matt Horner was drinking these when he “won” a fateful card game.

What He’s Having -- Kachinsky always seems to be in here, so whatever he’s having must be pretty good.

Baneling Body Shot -- Are you sure this is a good idea? I’m not sure where to put the lime...

A Glass of Milk -- “Whaddya mean there aren’t any cows in Koprulu? Where’d this come from then?“

The Solar Shot -- For those looking for a good time. Flame-proof clothing recommended, cuz you’ll be shining brighter than the star of Typhon.

Korhalian BackStabber -- Good for the recently betrayed and left for dead.

The Jail Breaker -- new from the recently opened New Folsom Prison Bar.

The Bloody Medic -- kills the pain, but we still say you should have a doctor check that out.

Redstone Mixer -- expensive, but I can guarantee it’ll be served in a clean and sterilized glass. Careful, that lava’s hot.

The Broadcaster -- You’re not ready for the raw $ex appeal this sucker brings. A favorite of a certain ex-convict.

The Hellracer -- suspension of sobriety is an integral part of any drinking experience, but this experience requires suspension of sobriety and inhibitions.

The Maelstrom Shocker -- Only served here, a 40% bigger hit than standard Shockers, guaranteed.

Psionic Cooler -- yes, I know it feels weird. Don’t worry, the energy coming out of your body should wear off in a couple days. I think.

(insert generic letters to indicate gibberish) -- I don’t know what’s in it either, but that guy down there had one. He started screaming and thrashing for a while, and now he hasn’t gotten up off the floor in over an hour.

The Judicator -- Perfect for influencing the minds of the intoxicated.

Prismatic Void -- Gets better with every drink. Has been known to be lethal.

Mind Shredder: perfect for those wishing to forget everything and start a new life. For anyone not wishing to do this, this drink isn’t advised.

Scotty Bolgers old no. 8: the good stuff

Andorian Ale: Can’t tell you how I got this, its a trade secret.

Charge: Made using stim and several other ingredients. Side effects vary.

Mjolnir (Thor’s Hammer): If you really want to feel hammered, this is for you. Served with a side of hot lead.

Enlightenment: tell me when you get there.

Marine: may cause you to see the counter vanish

Feedback: served cold. All those annoying voices in your head start telling you what you did wrong today.

M.U.L.E.: Good buzz, but may cause a break down later.

Haven Splitter: you’ll either feel warm, safe, and content, or depressed, paranoid, and possibly like injecting yourself with random serums. 50/50 shot.

Ace Suicide: I don’t actually know what this does. Nor do I recommend it.

Alcoholic Projector: Ever wanted to know what you’re actually like when you get totally trashed? Take a few sips of this, and all the alcohol in your system will condense into a ‘party’ version of yourself, where you are completely wasted, have no inhibitions, and are just out for a ‘little’ fun. The more you’ve drunk beforehand, the better the projection. Have fun!

The HBRB: however crazy you think you are, this will make you worse. Yes, that includes you, namesake.

The Noodle Incident: we all know what happens when you drink this. It needs no explanation.

Little bit of everything: Exactly what it says. I’ve taken everything I’ve got, mixed it together, and put in the laser accelerator for a few hours. There’s no telling what will happen.

Slicer: Has the unique property that it changes effect depending on the drinker's personality, amplifying any traits they have a good thousand times over. Buzzes in the back of your skull begin after three drinks, amplify slowly, and you randomly sprout wings after the 11th glass.

The Scoutmaster: May result in the drinkee feeling experiencing high levels of Trustworthiness, Loyalty, Helpfulness, Friendliness, Courtesy, Kindness, Obedience, Cheerfulness, Thriftiness, Bravery, Cleanliness, and Reverence. Not Recommended for parties.

Mar Sara Black: need a pick me up, or something for radiation poisoning? Or jut something to get a good buzz going that doesn’t break down? Then say good night, because we won’t be seeing you until the morning.

The Candy Cane: Our first ever seasonal beverage. There's no candy, but you will definitely be needing a cane.

The Smylez: This beverage is delicious, trust me. Drinking it will have absolutely no harmful effects on you (please ignore the green smoke), and your liver and kidneys will not be damaged in the least. Seriously.

The Nukester Supreme- Don't mind the green, glowing mist coming out of the straw. Very sharp and stinging taste, very critical repercussions. Comes with a complimentary led cup.

The Lightyear- This drink will take you the distance

Justice Juice- Definitely not recommended for people with a... questionable history

Drink accessories:

pylon shards (for those that need that extra crunchy glitter)

hydralisk spine umbrella (not for the more bubbly drinks)

Mentos: you’ve seen that experiment with Coke? Wait till you see what happens with my stuff.

Laser accelerator: Heh heh, you think you’ve had it all? Time for a little ‘randomosity’.

Pylon Powered Jellybeans- A classic now made available to the public. The extra energy may make you a little skiddish.

Popsicles- Served frozen. Use to get those oh-so-elusive creative juices flowing.

The menu will updated every so often, so check back to see if there is anything new you might like to try. There are only two rules here: If anyone starts a bar fight I will either:

throw you into the pen of Roaches I keep in the back. I feed them regularly, but you know how voracious Zerg are

or

personally blow your head off, and use your dead body to make new drinks (these are one of the few fates that are permanent here. I did create this place, after all)

and 2: what happens in the bar, stays in the bar.

So come. Drink. Enjoy. Chat with friends. Make new ones. Pick up a date [or a one night stand ;) ]. Drown your sorrows. Bi*ch about your life. For those of the literary bent, use this opportunity to get the creative juices [among other things] flowing.

As long as you pay your tab, and don’t break anything, I really don’t care what you do. And the best part is: no hangovers!

On an extra note: Due to the recent conflicts involving trolls, flash-mobs, and nuclear activity (pointed look at Zanon), I’ve moved the Bar to its own pocket dimension. Don’t worry, nothing has really changed, this is just for structural stability.
Edited by Thundercrash on 4/23/2014 9:20 PM PDT
Posts: 1,413
You've actually managed to suck the warmth from this place with that atrocious and dreadfully banal thread titles of yours. It's so boring. Even the drinks have no taste. That's how terrible the thread title is.
Posts: 8,186
I am afraid I must agree with that sentiment. CHANGE IT BACK TO X'S PRP BAR! WE BEG OF YOU!
Posts: 1,413
04/23/2014 10:33 AMPosted by Thundercrash
Due to the recent conflicts involving trolls, flash-mobs


Did any of this happen?

04/23/2014 10:33 AMPosted by Thundercrash
nuclear activity (pointed look at Zanon),


Someone has been busy after hightailing it.
Posts: 5,537
It appears I waited too long to make the next bar thread.
Posts: 8,186
Once again, Thundercrash has successfully reinstated himself.
Posts: 2,314
So...

Throws suspicious looking cookies in SF's general direction
Posts: 28,009
((Sorry, I will have to ignore that. Godmodding in every way))


Not godmodding, typical PRP stuff. The bar isn't a real RP.
Posts: 1,480
The Infested Shadowguard quickly raises his hand "Another Mjolniir please!"
Posts: 8,186
If a war is going to start, it must be soon. Anyone want to start a war?
Posts: 1,413
04/23/2014 05:35 PMPosted by KnarledOne
If a war is going to start, it must be soon. Anyone want to start a war?


That's boring. A war needs to be spontaneous. You don't ask to start a war. You sow the seeds and reap it when no one expects it. You create a brilliant set up, a powerful faction suddenly taken surprised by a single mere person and Code Black is initiated by said faction.

Like what I did to Zanon. The set up was great but you know what happened?

QQ

QQ

QQ

QQ

QQ

QQ OF MASSIVE PROPORTIONS BY SEVERAL PEOPLE WHO SHALT NOT BE NAMED.

Completely sapped the momentum from my posts. Zanon even went to the trouble of changing his pants to met me in great battle but nooooooooo, some people didn't enjoy the soon to be epic battle of the ages and began to QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ. What now? We have a cold war. A nothing war. We have lethargy instead.

That thread title though...

Hehehe...
Edited by Animus on 4/23/2014 6:08 PM PDT
Posts: 8,186
I don't remember that...

Oh wait, yes I do. I thought you were talking about Pikachu and the Zombie's PRP Bar. I was sad that I didn't think of initiating BAR WARS until the fight was over.
Posts: 2,314
04/23/2014 06:06 PMPosted by Animus
04/23/2014 05:35 PMPosted by KnarledOne
If a war is going to start, it must be soon. Anyone want to start a war?


That's boring. A war needs to be spontaneous. You don't ask to start a war. You sow the seeds and reap it when no one expects it. You create a brilliant set up, a powerful faction suddenly taken surprised by a single mere person and Code Black is initiated by said faction.

Like what I did to Zanon. The set up was great but you know what happened?

QQ

QQ

QQ

QQ

QQ

QQ OF MASSIVE PROPORTIONS BY SEVERAL PEOPLE WHO SHALT NOT BE NAMED.

Completely sapped the momentum from my posts. Zanon even went to the trouble of changing his pants to met me in great battle but nooooooooo, some people didn't enjoy the soon to be epic battle of the ages and began to QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ. What now? We have a cold war. A nothing war. We have lethargy instead.

That thread title though...

Hehehe...


04/23/2014 05:35 PMPosted by KnarledOne
If a war is going to start, it must be soon. Anyone want to start a war?


As if on cue, the sounds of a space battle is heard outside.


Is that "war" enough for the both of you?
Posts: 1,413
Don't remember what?
Posts: 4,146
"I read war once, I don't even know if it's truly supposed to happen, but the might of the Nokar horde will now be upon you." I say with a sinister smile. I raise one arm up, and snap my fingers. Upon doing so, screeches, roars and chittering sounds are heard, followed by explosions, screaming and thundering footsteps of a horde.

"Hell is upon us. And you will all..." as I speak, my skin begins to peel, as the skin peels of my flesh, the muscles and flesh that were once covered by my skin begin regenerating a black, biological metalic chitinous armor-like skin. The process occurs over a span of about 30 seconds, and the chitin that makes a helmet where my head is, has 2 thorns protruding from respected spots on either side of my head. With a deep demonic voice, I finish.

"Perish."

And a black and red portal opens behind me, and I slowly walk backwards into it, as a horde of bipedal demonic insectoid creatures begin to swarm the Bar. They have spines coming out of every join, and every vertebra disc, and extremely sharp, black metallic looking claws instead of fingers/toes. Their heads resemble that of a reptile, but with 4 mandibles, 2 on each side of the mouth. The creatures are slightly larger than a man, but are still small enough for dozens to flood into the bar, many going after individual bar patrons.

The ominous voice of the former Korozain, is heard once more. "Have fun, patrons."
Edited by Korozain on 4/23/2014 6:37 PM PDT
Posts: 1,413
"It's hardly a war if all that is coming at us are goons. There are much bigger fish to fry. Like Zanon for example. Funny, this scene looks like something out of ShadowFury's mind."

[Photon blasters goes off] PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW

"My hardened shields laugh at your pitiful claws!"
Posts: 2,314
04/23/2014 06:35 PMPosted by Korozain
"I read war once, I don't even know if it's truly supposed to happen, but the might of the Nokar horde will now be upon you." I say with a sinister smile. I raise one arm up, and snap my fingers. Upon doing so, screeches, roars and chittering sounds are heard, followed by explosions, screaming and thundering footsteps of a horde.

"Hell is upon us. And you will all..." as I speak, my skin begins to peel, as the skin peels of my flesh, the muscles and flesh that were once covered by my skin begin regenerating a black, biological metalic chitinous armor-like skin. The process occurs over a span of about 30 seconds, and the chitin that makes a helmet where my head is, has 2 thorns protruding from respected spots on either side of my head. With a deep demonic voice, I finish.

"Perish."

And a black and red portal opens behind me, and I slowly walk backwards into it, as a horde of bipedal demonic insectoid creatures begin to swarm the Bar. They have spines coming out of every join, and every vertebra disc, and extremely sharp, black metallic looking claws instead of fingers/toes. Their heads resemble that of a reptile, but with 4 mandibles, 2 on each side of the mouth. The creatures are slightly larger than a man, but are still small enough for dozens to flood into the bar, many going after individual bar patrons.

The ominous voice of the former Korozain, is heard once more. "Have fun, patrons."


A Battle of Swarms, I see...

Creates a dimensional tear, allowing myself to escape, and closes it just as soon as it opened.


...Let us add another to this battle!

Multiple Legion ships begin phasing in, complimented by a substantial number of Galactica Warships.


Unless you wish to incur the wrath of 5 (Ner'Aszh the Tunneler, Acidus the Legionaire, Chimaera the Warden, Vaevictis the Shaper, and "Kryos") of my commanders in orbit right now...
Posts: 4,146
Asteroid-like pods fall from the sky holding warriors of the Razor clan. The hulking Razor Warriors, massive creatures with 4 legs, the legs are like single claws that stab into the ground with each step. they have 4 arms whose hands look like Ax blades made of bone. They rend and tear through flesh like a hot knife through warm butter.

The Razor Archers are much like the grunts sent in first, but have elongated heads, and have numerous bony arrowhead-shaped spines protruding from their body. These spines can pierce through armor and flesh easily. They recede into their bodies, then spit them out of their mouths using a special organ that compresses air as a propulsion method.

Then the Razor Drudges. Smaller versions of the Warriors that tunnel underground and pop-back up like a deadly game of Pop-Goes the Weasel. Except these weasels are extremely fast and will kill you with their many tendrils that will pop up in random spots in the ground. These tendrils are completely covered in razor sharp bones that can be used in melee, or subtley shot from the ground.

All of these things are now upon you. Have fun. They are everywhere, and coming from all sides endlessly from similar asteroid-like pods.

As the ships come in, a swarm of Nokar Skybreakers burst from a neaby moon, they either shoot parasites coated in acid that will eat into the hulls of the ships or just start biting the hull with their eight massive mandibles.
Edited by Korozain on 4/23/2014 7:00 PM PDT
Posts: 1,413
"Another swarm? Good grief, is it just faceless goons everywhere? One would half expect Zarkun to be shooting everything on sight right about now."

I smash the face of a Razor Archer that receded into the body with the blasters and blow it up with a single shot.
Posts: 28,009
I sip my drink, watching the carnage. "You see, I feel it would be a waste of ammo. I mean, they're just a bunch of faceless grunts. Now if, let's say, a leader, would show up, shooting my way through all these goons would be worth it."
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