Ask Kerrigan: Advice from the Queen of Blades

Posts: 96
Dear Kerrigan,

Give me NUDES.

Wantsyou,
NJJ
Edited by NJJ on 8/3/2010 12:14 AM PDT
Posts: 1
LOL
Posts: 2
lol nice one!
Posts: 181
Can I like this more than once?
Posts: 377
Dear Kerrigan,

Who would win in a fight. The Zerg race or the alien race from Starship Troopers? They are very similar, except for the massive bugs in ST that are able to effortlessly shoot down vessels in the outer atmosphere.

Sincerely,
Shasta McNasty
Posts: 60
Dear Kerrigan:

Please send me more Zerglings. They are so fun to wipe out with my Colossui brethren.

Thanks!
Posts: 1,198
Dear Kerrigan:

Please send me more Zerglings. They are so fun to wipe out with my Colossui brethren.

Thanks!


SPAWN MOAR OVERLORDS.
Posts: 9
Dear Kerrigan,

As a devout overlord commander of your forces I was wondering if you could bestow upon my Zerglings fireproof armor.

You see the local Terrans have recently found out that fire works very well against the adorable (and terribly misunderstood) Zergling. I have sent hundreds of thousands of Zerglings to them with 'peace offerings' and they only seem to make little progress against their flamethrower defenses.

Forever under your control,
Overlord Troopzor
Edited by Troopzor on 8/3/2010 12:42 AM PDT
Posts: 23
Dear Kerrigan,

I recently was able to become a commander for a short duration. But due to debt and a lack of funds, my commanding license was revoked until I can pay around 50 minerals for a new license.

I've contemplated using an old simulator to enjoy the thrills of commanding again but it just won't compare. Is there anything I can do to get my license back sooner? I just can't afford that 50 minerals at this time.

Sincerely,
Poor former commander
Posts: 47
Omgad. Full of win. Bookmarked!
Posts: 1,198
Dear Kerrigan,

As a devout overlord commander of your forces I was wondering if you could bestow upon my Zerglings fireproof armor.

You see the local Terrans have recently found out that fire works very well against the adorable (and terribly misunderstood) Zergling. I have sent hundreds of thousands of Zerglings to them with 'peace offerings' and they only seem to make little progress against their flamethrower defenses.

Forever under your control,
Overlord Troopzor


I'm reminded of a parable, Troopzor:

A zergling once said to the Overmind: "I want to believe in you, but how can I keep my faith, when the life of a zergling is so very brief and full of suffering?"

And the Overmind said unto the zergling: "Look back at the path thou hast trod all of thine life. You will see there are two sets of footprints, for where you have walked through torment and trial, I have walked beside you."

And the zergling looked back and saw that, for much of the way, there were, indeed, two sets of footprints, but sometimes, where he had endured the harshest difficulties, he saw only one set.

"But Overmind," the zergling said. "What about the places where my journey was the most painful? When I look at those spots, I see only one set of footprints. You abandoned me."

"I did not abandon you, my child," said the Overmind. "Those places where you see only one set of footprints are the places where I sent in Mutalisk air support.
Edited by Crawford on 8/3/2010 1:00 AM PDT
Posts: 2
Dear Kerrigan,

The other day, I thought I'd had a brilliant idea--the next time some unscrupulous whelps decide to rush screaming into my base thirty seconds after we open for business, I would just lift off my barracks and command center and then land them on top of my enemies--essentially using them for a gigantic game of whack a mole.

Imagine my shock and horror when I discovered that even a SINGLE zealot standing in the wrong place would constitute an "unacceptable landing zone!" I simply don't understand how this is happening. My barracks alone must weigh several hundred tons, and it seems to me that this should be plenty to make squishy-squishy out of some impudent stalkers.

I was hoping we could put our heads together (assuming your chitin-hair doesn't exude some kind of toxin) and come up with some kind of explanation for this. I know you've got some hands-on experience remodeling terran architecture; perhaps you have some pointers for the average DIY commander?

All the best,
Death from Above

PS Would love to see your people take to the field more often. Zerglings are just so much more satisfying to watch explode than zealots.
Posts: 2
(Sidebar: Most epically full of win post ever.)
Posts: 2
Dear Kerrigan,

I just want to let you know that we're here
FOR THE SCO -- i mean FOR THE SWARM!!!!

Me
Posts: 328
Dear Kerrigan,

I just want to let you know that we're here
FOR THE SCO -- i mean FOR THE SWARM!!!!

Me


Muffin Cookie. This deserves research by the Baked Goods Division.
Posts: 1,198
Dear Kerrigan,

I recently was able to become a commander for a short duration. But due to debt and a lack of funds, my commanding license was revoked until I can pay around 50 minerals for a new license.

I've contemplated using an old simulator to enjoy the thrills of commanding again but it just won't compare. Is there anything I can do to get my license back sooner? I just can't afford that 50 minerals at this time.

Sincerely,
Poor former commander


Assimilate to the Zerg. Our top down management system eliminates the need for superfluous bureaucracy.
Posts: 3
This has got to be the greatest thing i've read in a while.
Posts: 36
epic thread is epic.
Posts: 262
Hilarious!
Posts: 37
Dear Kerrigan,

I've always fought your battles for you im a lovely Hydralisk.
But i find being a Hydralisk isnt as fun as it looks.
Can i be changed into a mutalisk please i wanna fly with the birds.
Or better yet a Brood lord.
oh well ill stay hydralisk as long as im with you :P

Remeber Kerrigan
I Fight For The Hive.

Your best hydralisk,
MrBubbles.
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