StarCraft® II

Ask Kerrigan: Advice from the Queen of Blades

Posts: 1,152
Dear Kerrigan,

Who would win in a fight. The Zerg race or the alien race from Starship Troopers? They are very similar, except for the massive bugs in ST that are able to effortlessly shoot down vessels in the outer atmosphere.

Sincerely,
Shasta McNasty


What do you think we assimilated Ultralisks from?
Posts: 632
HI, I'm Billy Mays, currently working for the swarm and ready to save you TONS with our fabulous deals. As of right now, Kerrigan is offering to have 2 zerglings deliverd AT YOUR DOORSTEP for only 3 low payments of 19 Minerals plus the shipping and if you call in the next 20 mins we will include, not one, but 2 additional zerglings in the deal. BUT WAIT, that's not all, if for ANY reason you are not decapitated the instant you open your package, we garante your FULL money back (minus shipping and handling).

So pick up your phone and call us right now at: 1800-455-LINGS
Posts: 769
Dear Kerrigan,

I served you well didn't I? All those battles defending your honor, your hives, your will. I fought off the Protoss, Raynor and the UED... AT THE SAME TIME, but now you wont even give me a second glance. You stole me from the Overmind and i was so happy to serve you but now.
I mean, I served undeniably, and valiantly for you, for the swarm. Yet you left me, floating in the void on this hunk of metal as the Terrans and Protoss left. Your warriors miss you too. The lurkers and defilers you left behind wish to serve you again. The fliers died because the hydralisks zerglings and other ground Zerg killed them for food. They grow weak while your other, newer strains, grow strong.

signed, your beloved cerebrate

P.S. Did you ever find out what happened to Duran?
Posts: 21
Dear Kerrigan

Being a loyal Hydralisk for a long time now i thought i would send you a thank you letter for being the best race and for this Q&A page it has made all of us at the hive rotfl all over the creep have a good day
Posts: 214
Hahah nicely done Crawford.
Posts: 162
Dear Kerrigan,

How do your mutalisks - having wings - fly in the vacuum of space?

Posts: 12
Dear Kerrigan,
As a worker drone, I've found myself wondering about some things. Specifically, why is it necessary to haul vespene gas from the geyser back to the hive? I mean, I know you don't specifically need the gas at any specific place because my friend, who has no name because he was a proud-serving anonymous drone, morphed into a zerg hatchery last week. But he wasn't even carrying any minerals or anything on him, he just sort of start morphing.
Now that I think of it, why do we need shiny rocks off the ground and gas from the bowels of the earth anyway? We're fleshy insectoids, so I frankly don't see how a bunch of rocks is transmuted into a zergling. And I'm pretty sure I'm not made up of 50 kilograms of crystal, because crystals don't bleed, which is something that happens quite often in my dangerous line of work.
Please respond ASAP, I'm really wondering if my job hauling gas eight feet back and forth is helping the swarm consume all life, or if I need to consider becoming a spine crawler or something.
~A Concerned Drone.
Posts: 194
Dear Kerrigan,

Percolating around both the luxurious arcologies and street-level project housing of Korhal are juicy rumors of your abusive relationship with Jim Raynor. What are your feelings toward Jimmy now after the terrible, terrible damage dealt to the relationship by your medical problems, growing sociopathic tendencies, unethical bioengineering, and stint in terrorism/planetcide? Any regrets?

Korhal socialites, mothers, teens, female colonists that happen to be scientists, media conglomerates, and Perez Hilton are dying to know - is Jimmarah to be again?

Sincerely,

Jealous UNN Page Six Gossip Reporter
Edited by Cornwallis on 8/3/2010 9:04 AM PDT
Posts: 26
Hah this is great :D. Nerdy SC2 jokes ftw.
Posts: 109
Ah, that made my day :D Thanks for that
Posts: 183
thumbs up for Kerrgian :)
Posts: 5,396
Dear Kerrigan,
I have only recently seen you again after us being apart from one another for four years, so why is it that you act like I have always hated you? You know as well as I do that our love is undying and infinite, and I only recently went to Char to meet you again.
If you have ever loved me, please come out so we can talk once again, just this once.

With love and regards,
-Jim Raynor.
Posts: 219
Brilliant. This entire time I was imagining Kerrigans twisted, hateful voice narrating the whole thing.
Posts: 5,396
oh btw, freakin amazing thread you got going here :)
Posts: 267
Dear Crawford,

We could be friends. We should get coffee sometime.

Best,
@tronbie
Posts: 2
Dear Kerrigan,

I just want to let you know that we're here
FOR THE SCO -- i mean FOR THE SWARM!!!!

Me


Muffin Cookie. This deserves research by the Baked Goods Division.


You could also look into Cookie muffins.
While I'm at it.

Dear Kerrigan,

Do you like muffins or cookies? Or both? Or neither? There will come a time where you'll need to consume a fellow zerg (like back in the SC1 campaign, rmbr that?), and we need to know what flavor you most desire.

FOR THE SWARM,
MuffinCookie.
Posts: 206
Dear Kerrigan,

As a drone, I know for a fact that my job is to serve the swarm and make absolutely no effort to doubt your teachings. However, I've been noticing something very odd lately. You see, occasionally, a large set of drones will join me on the mineral line. We all have good fun as we pile the minerals to the base of the hatchery, but later on a select few will be able to work in the Vespene Extractors.

Now, I've never been able to work in a vespene extractor (I was nearly a spine crawler at one point, but our commander left his post without word upon the sight of 6 Zealots entering his base) and I simply must wonder: what goes on in there? The drones enter and nearly instantaneously come out with a small ball of gas. They all carry confused looks and do not speak a word to any other drones. Is this gas harming our drones? I would really like to know exactly what's inside those extractors.

Sincerely,
Drosideon.
Posts: 155
This thread is full of win. I lol'ed. keep em coming makes work more fun.
Posts: 16
Dear Kerrigan,

I want a non-infested cookie.

That is all, love;
Artifact that pwned u into being human.

(lol)
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