StarCraft® II

Ask Kerrigan: Advice from the Queen of Blades

Posts: 20
LMAO i fell from the chair laughing so much that was good
Community Manager
Posts: 3,079
Dear Kerrigan,

Where in the worlds did you find those fabulous chitinous stilettos? I've searched all over the sector for a pair, but have yet to turn up anything save for a few mediocre imitations. Rumor has it they've been out of production since the conclusion of the Brood War.

Please tell me this isn't true. Though you're somewhat unconventional and do have a bit of a violent streak, I've always admired your bold sense of fashion.

Can you help a girl out?


Sincerely,

Best Foot Forward




Posts: 121
As a zergling, I have to agree with Lylirra... but is there any way to adjust your fashion to make ME look good, my Queen?
Posts: 964
we put a pink ribbon on your head =P
Posts: 66
+1 You win the internet. lol
Posts: 42
Dear Kerrigan,
I have dire need of your services. As Hierarch of the Protoss legion it is my job to assure everyone that things run smoothly around here. Yet this incessent nagging voice taunts me day and night requesting that I "CONSTRUCT ADDITIONAL PYLONS!" as the disembodied voice so callously exlaims. The demands have only gotten more ridiculous and are beginning to teeter on boarder-line harassment. I had thought of seeking council with Lord Zeratul and hiring a Terran lawyer to press charges when I remembered how good you and your zerg were at finding all my people and mercilessly wiping them out. Therefor it falls to you to help me in my time of greatest need. Please find the voice coming from this face, and the head said face is attached to and, as you so skillfully do, rip it asunder for the sake of all on Aiur and Shakuras.

Eternally in your debt,
Hierarch Artanis of the Protoss Fleet
Posts: 267
Dear Kerrigan,

What do you intend to do now that [[ removed for spoiler content ]]...

Sincerely,
DrunkCanuck
Raynor's Raiders


what the hell dude?!?!!?
Edited by Lylirra on 8/3/2010 12:39 PM PDT
Posts: 22
Dear Kerrigan,

Have you considered a "win an assimilation by Kerrigan" gameshow? It'd be a great hit--it might even net you some PR in the Terran sector, I hear their old source of entertainment, the news, has become "serious"--and could seriously beef up your mineral supplies to deal with those pesky protoss. Plus, you'd get a new snack or genetic strain with each episode!

If you're interested in a partnership, my parent company's (Morning Star Entertainment, Ltd.) chief marketing exec has a wonderful offer for you; just contact Mephistos@diabloinc.com. And on a personal note, may I say I just love what you've done with the swarm; I look forward to your presumed coming invasions and the unprecedented billions of wailing souls we'll be ushering in as a result.

Sincerely,

Former marine XT10097, condemned to hellfire, now special secretary to Mephistos
Posts: 10
And on the 7th day Crawford returned in al his glory of awesome fresh out of the hells of Warcraft to bring himself to this board. And all rejoiced.
Edited by OriginalName on 8/3/2010 12:43 PM PDT
Posts: 343
Dear Kerrigan,

Where in the worlds did you find those fabulous chitinous stilettos?


I too have been wondering this! Inquiring minds must know!
Posts: 1,152
Dear Kerrigan,

Where in the worlds did you find those fabulous chitinous stilettos? I've searched all over the sector for a pair, but have yet to turn up anything save for a few mediocre imitations. Rumor has it they've been out of production since the conclusion of the Brood War.

Please tell me this isn't true. Though you're somewhat unconventional and do have a bit of a violent streak, I've always admired your bold sense of fashion.

Can you help a girl out?


Sincerely,

Best Foot Forward


Dear Foot,

People have been expecting me to push Zerg merch ever since Raszagal started hawking her Protoss no-mouth diet on late night television. But I didn't conquer nine of the thirteen Terran planets on the galactic rim just so I could market a celebrity-endorsed spray-on tan or sell my own line of designer leggings.

Zerg isn't just an accessory; it's a whole aesthetic, a lifestyle, really. So many women think they can just get chitinous heels or a teacup Baneling or a handbag made from the skins of their slain enemies. So many women want to date an Infestor just to upset their parents. They think they're down; they think they get it. But they're missing the point.

If you want the Zerg to kit you out, we'll give you a comprehensive makeover. But we don't take returns and we don't take American Express. You can't just rock this look, you must assimilate to the Swarm.

Fabulously,
Kerrigan
Edited by Crawford on 8/3/2010 12:58 PM PDT
Posts: 51
I see, you like to see your transformations through time, amirite?
Posts: 306
Dear Kerrigan,

I replaced my arm with a cannon ready to blow your head off

Sincerely,
General Warfield
P.S Kiss my ass


I see it now, Megaman coming into the next SCII expansion.
Posts: 117
Dear Kerrigan,

How is it possible that all your zerglings move faster when on creep? Its looks like jello so would they slip and slide on the creep? also Where are the lurkers at?

Sincerely,
A local boy


Edited by Alexzerian on 8/3/2010 12:56 PM PDT
Posts: 2
Dear Kerrigan,

I am currently serving as a marine in the Dominion army. It's been fun, but where I am there's just no oppertunity for advancement. I heard that you used to be a ghost before getting infested, and now you're the Queen of Blades! I'm thinking about joining up with the swarm (saw my buddy Jim did, he shot at me but I don't hold it against him), but I want to know if there are good oppertunities for me to move up in the ranks. If I join, can I get some training to be a commander? If I get lucky, I may be able to get out of this outfit and go to a Dominion command acadamy sometime soon. Would it improve my chances if I do that first, and then join?

With high hopes,
Jetter
Posts: 6
HAHA! this is great!
Posts: 204
Dear Kerrigan,

I am a psychiatrist (a behavorialist at heart), part time geneticist, with a patient we'll call James. He has suffered from a series of traumatic (often violent) events in his life. This has lead to alcohol abuse and reclusiveness in his behavior. Occasionally, he mentions a specific event involving a woman (he never refers to her by name), and sometimes suffers from what I believe to be episodes of post traumatic stress disorder (gazing at inanimate objects for long periods of time). I recognize this as episodes because of the biological stats I recieve from our onboard computers during these periods of time.

I only want to do my best to get him to open up and explore possible relations with other woman. I do not think his obsession with this one woman is healthy (mentally or physically). Do you have any recommendations on modifying his thinking and/or behavior so that he is more healthy?

Sincerely,

Concerned With Love
Posts: 40
Dear Kerrigan,

I have a cannon mounted on my right arm, would you you care to meet me for dinner on Char?

Sincerely,
General Warfield.
Posts: 531
Dear Kerrigan,

I was once a fearsome Hydralisk and fought many battles against the Terren and Protoss. I used to love to retract my muscles and fling poisonous razor sharp spines at my enemies completely obliterating them, but unfortunately I was struck by enemy fire directly in my spine regeneration gland and can no longer shoot spines. I feel like a spineless loser now. What should I do?

Sincerely,

Kardakiskardicavard
This topic has reached its post limit. You may no longer post or reply to posts for this topic.

Please report any Code of Conduct violations, including:

Threats of violence. We take these seriously and will alert the proper authorities.

Posts containing personal information about other players. This includes physical addresses, e-mail addresses, phone numbers, and inappropriate photos and/or videos.

Harassing or discriminatory language. This will not be tolerated.

Forums Code of Conduct

Report Post # written by

Reason
Explain (256 characters max)
Submit Cancel

Reported!

[Close]