StarCraft® II

Philip and Anna (Part 1/xxx)

Posts: 377
Philip and Anna
On one of her knee on the ground, and other one supporting her rifle, her laser beam from the rifle is focused at the planetary fortress. You realize there are two timers counting down simultaneously. One timer indicates 10 seconds left for power of her personal cloaking device, the other timer indicates that 12 seconds left until nuclear bomb from space command will be locked and dropped. Right next to her, swarm of salvage Zerg with fresh Terran blood on their claws, sensing something… Yet, not knowing exactly where. Her laser is pointed right at the turret of badly damaged planetary fortress. She is a witness to utter destruction of one of the home base of the Terran.
SCVs exploding as they try to repair the planetary fortress, she can hear the pain and agony of operators of SCV as the acid from Zerg penetrate through Neosteel and scald their skin. Bunker nearby explodes, and can see the marines exposed to raw torment of vengeance filled Zerg. Vulnerable Marines, being tore in half and thrown up in the air, as a bunker nearby knows its fate as well, as it stood burning as an Ultralisk rams the steel frame of the bunker. It is clear that the battle is lost, and Anna the ghost, has made up her mind.
The timer continues to count down, 3 seconds remaining for the personal cloak. Anna’s personal cloak is about to expire. Her transparency is slowing turning opaque, revealing her dark brown eyes, and her long dark beautiful hair flowing down her ghost suit. She is still 99 percent transparent, but 1 percent of opaqueness is all you need to realize her beauty. Clearly, expression on her face is not fear, but determination, even as all the destruction around her, and swarm of Zerg next to her. The Zerg nearby senses her existence, it matters little to them how beautiful she is, in the end, she is nothing but a hunk of flesh and blood.
The cloak reaches 0 seconds. Timer for the nuke still sits at 2 seconds. Hydralisk, realizing the seriousness of the incident, immediately pierces its claw through her shoulder, other end of the claw protruding through her belly. Yet, Anna does not lose her posture, and continues to hold the gun steady, as the timer for nuclear bomb nears zero. Then she hears fast repeating beep, indicating that nuclear bomb and successfully locked and launched. “Nuclear Missle Launched” said the device. And at that moment, time slows down. Zerg and Terran alike, looks up in the air at the large sound piercing through the sky. It is the nuclear bomb. Anna, closes her eyes, and whispers, “I love you Philip,” and goes through a flashback. Her memories of joy, hope and love passes by in seconds…

Flashback –
It’s Anna, clearly young, beautiful, fun-loving girl, college age. She is driving on her high speed hover vehicle careless about her surroundings. Anyone can tell she is from a wealthy family, as her vehicle is highest class. She sings along the song as she drives, carefree and happy, regardless of what is on the news as she surfs through the channels, and she is back to her song. Then she realizes that her car is low on fuel, and decides to fill up at a nearby fuel station. As she approaches, her carelessness narrowly misses a fuel station attendant, and rams in to one of the post.
*CRASH*
The accident is minor, although her vehicle is damaged; there are no signs of injury. Young male fuel attendant that almost got hit gets up and goes to the vehicle in a rush.
“Miss, are you alright?”
Anna, realizing what she just have done, ignores the attendant and panics about what trouble she got in to, “Oh no! My dad is going to be so disappointed. What do I do?”
She then takes out her iPhone 483th generation and tries to make a call. Young male fuel attendant is clearly disappointed at her response.
“Wouldn’t it be proper if you asked if I was okay first? You nearly ran me over!” claimed he.
Anna, then looks at him for the first time, realizes his nametag on shirt. She responds, “Look, Philip, but I didn’t hit you did I? You are fine, so what’s the big deal? You need to mind your own business and refuel this vehicle, before I get you fired.”

*** If you want this story to continue, please post a reply and try to get others to read ***
If there are enough fans, I would like to continue the story of Philip and Anna!

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Posts: 44
Continue the story.
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Posts: 82
There are a few spelling/grammer mistakes here and there
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Posts: 15
good opening, continue story

the grammer and spelling errors do little to derail the opening, what nationality are you btw it may explain some of the errors we notice
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Posts: 3,056
How can the story continue if they were nuked. tee hee
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Posts: 1,649
05/25/2011 11:19 AMPosted by Zorca
How can the story continue if they were nuked. tee hee


How optimistic.

EDIT: Continue? Yes.
Edited by InFinitY on 5/26/2011 6:06 PM PDT
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Posts: 2,416
Please continue :)
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Posts: 861
you shoudl jsut write a short story about this.
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Posts: 562
I'm interested but the grammar almost ruined my interest. Perhaps use Microsoft Word to spell check before posting or if you are too poor use an online word processor. I hope you continue :D
Edited by VileIntent on 5/27/2011 5:42 PM PDT
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Posts: 2,382
05/26/2011 08:50 PMPosted by VileIntent
Perhaps use Microsoft Word to spell check before posting or if your too poor use an online word processor.


Perhaps you shouldn't criticize other people's grammar if you're incapable of distinguishing between "you're" and "your".
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Posts: 562
Perhaps use Microsoft Word to spell check before posting or if you're too poor use an online word processor.


Perhaps you is criticize other person's grammar if your incapable on distinguishin between "your" and "your".


I think you need to focus on your grammar a little bit more. You have quite a bit of errors...
Edited by VileIntent on 5/27/2011 5:45 PM PDT
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Posts: 2,382
VileIntent

Edited by VileIntent on 5/27/11 5:45 PM (PDT)

Perhaps use Microsoft Word to spell check before posting or if you're too poor use an online word processor.



Perhaps you is criticize other person's grammar if your incapable on distinguishin between "your" and "your".



I think you need to focus on your grammar a little bit more. You have quite a bit of errors...


Obviously it will look as though my grammar is poor if you misquote me. Also, it should be "You have quite a few errors" not "You have quite a bit of errors" if you feel like getting picky.
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Posts: 377
Thanks for all support and feedback. I am working on the continued part of the story, but this time, I'll make sure I proof read multiple times to fix all the grammar errors. :(
Edited by Peanut on 5/28/2011 11:51 AM PDT
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Posts: 978
continue.

EDIT: I'll be nice and say please!
Edited by yoki on 5/29/2011 4:50 PM PDT
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Posts: 1,649
Don't listen to the grammar *%@#!s Peanut. Your doing fine.
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Posts: 302
Story seems cool, please continue.
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