StarCraft® II

Zeratul's Advertising!

Posts: 172
This is strictly a protoss thread for advertising protoss products. If u are a terran or zerg wishing to showcase your product u must abide by these rules:
Must have a Zealot escort at all times
If you have psionic powers you MUST HAVE ATLEAST 3 HIGH TEMPLARS WITH YOU
Only one product may be showcased at a time
Any attempt to sabotage our products will result in us mind *!!#ing your minds... literally.... we mean it...
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Posts: 1,122
What if i'm a terran protoss hybrid that plays zerg???
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Posts: 173
But the HTs are psionic, which means that each of them needs 3 HT, and each of them needs 3! IT'S A PARADOX! THISSTATEMENTISFALSEdontthinkaboutitdontthinkaboutitdontthinkaboutit............
Edited by ILLADOR on 6/11/2011 6:39 PM PDT
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Posts: 1,122
well i guess i'll sell my very new product...........................THE IMMORTAL STALKING VIKING ODIN!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ladies and Gentlemen, It is my pleasure to present to you the pennical of protoss and terran engennerring!

THE IMMORTAL STALKING VIKING ODIN!!!!!!!!!!!

It boasts the hardened shield of the immortal, the speed and blinking ability of the stalker, the power of the odin, and not to mention the transforming capabilities of the viking.

It can easily take on a leviathion or an omegalisk and pummle it to the ground. (trust us we've already seen it happen)

It is on sale now for a discount price of only 10000 minerals and 8000 vespene gas!!!!!!!!!
BUY NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Posts: 173
Are cheats allowed? Cuz I have them. I'll even trade for a free Immortal Stalking Viking Odin..... hehehehe
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Posts: 92
Ladies and gentlemen I introduce the new jukebox named the OverEngineeredCodPiece!

It introduces the best song around, Terran Up The Night for only 70,000 credits! This may sound like alot of money for just one song on a jukebox that doesn't work half the time, but were also throwing in a Zealot slave!

Zealot: Your doing what!? O.o

He thinks he's an escort but he will be serving you for the rest of his life! Don't worry children at home, we have him De-Psi Bladed so he can't hurt you. Order now, or we'll nuke your home!
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Posts: 314
Discount psy emitters, stolen from the leader of the terran dominion, and now with a buy one get one free,

DISCLAIMER: we are not responsible if any "high" templar get addicted to the psy, or any zerg attracted to this, it is merely for display purposes.
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Posts: 447
<-------------------im selling my car
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Posts: 1,122
06/15/2011 08:19 AMPosted by ILLADOR
Are cheats allowed? Cuz I have them. I'll even trade for a free Immortal Stalking Viking Odin..... hehehehe


No
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Posts: 2,096
Jay: I am Jay the Ghost, and here's my zelot escort Fred

Fred: Hi...

Jay: Today, we are selling Pylon Powered Jellybeans. These little suckers will give you the energy to take on a whole zerg Hive, Fred, will you please demostrate?

Fred: *eats one of the many small glowing jellybeanz* OMG, I FEEL AWESOME!!! *runs off at the speed of sound in a random direction* *You hear various squeals and screams and gorinsh sounds*

Jay: *taps her foot and is watchiing her stopwatch*

Fred: *returns blood splattered and with 2 large cuts down his back, yet he seems not to notice, he is also still hopping around like some High Templar* THAT WAS AWSOME, GIVE MEH MOAR!!!

Jay: *still watching her stopwatch* Wait for it....

Fred: *Suddenly drops and falls into a deep sleep on the floor*

Jay: Well there you have it folks, *shows her stopwatch to those watching* Fred here was hyper for a whole 30 seconds!! And from only one jelly bean, and has defeated a whole zerg hive within this time!! I would show you the carnage he left behind for i had planted a camera on Fred's shoulder here...*takes small camera from Fred's shoulder* But...*looks into its tiny screen* the footage here he caught even surpasses the TV rating R, so i can not leagally show you it....

Fred: *stirs in sleep, twitching from the sheer power of the jellybeanz*

Jay: ORDER YOUR PYLON POWERED JELLYBEANS TODAY!! They come in a mis-mosh of flavors! Tropical Psi-blade, Roasted Zergling, and everyone's favorite so far, Raynor's Delight!
ORDER NOW!!

DISCLAIMER: Pylon Powered Jellybeans Inc. is not responsible for any injuries cause by your power-suged spaz attacks of yourself, yourc children, grandparents, pets and leathal science experiments . If you are unsure of this products ingredients, DON'T ASK US. For more useless info of our Pylon Powered Jellybeans, visit Kerrigan in Char at Baneling Nest Springs. (This product has been tested by our very own zealot Fred, who should be fine..maybe...)

Fred: *Groans in pain as screen blanks out*
Edited by Mockingjay on 6/16/2011 12:53 PM PDT
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Posts: 322
Jay: I am Jay the Ghost, and here's my zelot escort Fred

Fred: Hi...

Jay: Today, we are selling Pylon Powered Jellybeans. These little suckers will give you the energy to take on a whole zerg Hive, Fred, will you please demostrate?

Fred: *eats one of the many small glowing jellybeanz* OMG, I FEEL AWESOME!!! *runs off at the speed of sound in a random direction* *You hear various squeals and screams and gorinsh sounds*

Jay: *taps her foot and is watchiing her stopwatch*

Fred: *returns blood splattered and with 2 large cuts down his back, yet he seems not to notice, he is also still hopping around like some High Templar* THAT WAS AWSOME, GIVE MEH MOAR!!!

Jay: *still watching her stopwatch* Wait for it....

Fred: *Suddenly drops and falls into a deep sleep on the floor*

Jay: Well there you have it folks, *shows her stopwatch to those watching* Fred here was hyper for a whole 30 seconds!! And from only one jelly bean, and has defeated a whole zerg hive within this time!! I would show you the carnage he left behind for i had planted a camera on Fred's shoulder here...*takes small camera from Fred's shoulder* But...*looks into its tiny screen* the footage here he caught even surpasses the TV rating R, so i can not leagally show you it....

Fred: *stirs in sleep, twitching from the sheer power of the jellybeanz*

Jay: ORDER YOUR PYLON POWERED JELLYBEANS TODAY!! They come in a mis-mosh of flavors! Tropical Psi-blade, Roasted Zergling, and everyone's favorite so far, Raynor's Delight!
ORDER NOW!!

DISCLAIMER: Pylon Powered Jellybeans Inc. is not responsible for any injuries cause by your power-suged spaz attacks of yourself, yourc children, grandparents, pets and leathal science experiments . If you are unsure of this products ingredients, DON'T ASK US. For more useless info of our Pylon Powered Jellybeans, visit Kerrigan in Char at Baneling Nest Springs. (This product has been tested by our very own zealot Fred, who should be fine..maybe...)

Fred: *Groans in pain as screen blanks out*




XDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXD LOLOLOLOLOL nice one jay way to bring the zergling and zealot achivements into other threads :)
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Posts: 2,640
The new album "Living like A Brotoss" is hitting the shelves soon!

It features songs such as
"That sentry in the window"
"Bagpipes from Aiur"

Watch my zealot escort dance to this
/dance x10

Exciting, yes?
Don't forget the classics.

"I got high.. templar"
"Not Afraid Of The Void"
and "WTF happened to Aiur?"

And many, many more.

"banelings,banelings, banelings AHHHH!"
"We cannot hold!"
"Remember Pylo"
"From the Shadows I Come"
"Archon Toilet"

Please call 1- ¢↔φ - ▓▓▓ - Aiur
to pre-order yours today!

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Posts: 3,045
well i guess i'll sell my very new product...........................THE IMMORTAL STALKING VIKING ODIN!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ladies and Gentlemen, It is my pleasure to present to you the pennical of protoss and terran engennerring!

THE IMMORTAL STALKING VIKING ODIN!!!!!!!!!!!

It boasts the hardened shield of the immortal, the speed and blinking ability of the stalker, the power of the odin, and not to mention the transforming capabilities of the viking.

It can easily take on a leviathion or an omegalisk and pummle it to the ground. (trust us we've already seen it happen)

It is on sale now for a discount price of only 10000 minerals and 8000 vespene gas!!!!!!!!!
BUY NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I want this in hots
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Posts: 2,096
Jay: Hey, its me again. Sorry to say, the protoss police have figured out that i do have psionic powers, so now i got 3 high templars following me around here, but they said they would be happy to help me advertise my new product! :D

One of the High Templars: Yeah....someone had watch you anyways, since Fred is..

Jay: *cuts Hight Templar off* NM ABOUT THAT!
*looks sheepishly into camera* Anyway....

Jay:I am now advertising this lovely little can of EMP
EMP is the new beverage drink of the century! Its the most awesome drink you will every drink ever. I mean it. EVER. Okay guys, you each get a can, try it out.

High Templars: Okay....*all take a can and chug it gone, and they all stand completely still*

Jay *smiles*

Hightemplar 1: *tries to move, but moves in slow motion*
Hightemplars: *THey all walk in slow motion*

Jay: Yes indeed people, EMP is a product that reduces speed! Give it to the local zerglings, reduce the frusttration of the many deaths caused by their speed! Heck, give it to your kids so you don't have to constantly chase them around!!

Hightemplar 1: *Also talks in slow motions* W....T...F.....why....how....long....willl...we....beee....like.....thisss??

Jay: Um...That is undeterm-er " CLassified Info"

Hightemplar 2: BUT.....I....HAVE....TO....GET....HOME.....LATER....WE.....ARE .....GOING....TO....BE....INVADED....BY.....THE.....ZERG....

Jay: I have an easy solution for you then. GUESS WHAT? Emp is a bevarage made by the makers of Pylon Powered Jellybeans! According to this handout i was just given by this little baneling here....*Of course the baneling is followed by a Zealot* ....Pylon powered jelleybeans can instantly reverse the effect of EMP!

Hightemplar 3: THEN....GIVE.....US....SOME....STUPID.....JELLEY...BEANZ....

Jay: Sorry. You guys gotta order some after your done being all slow-moed

HighTemplar 1: O....M....G....are....you....serious...?

Jay: Yes, yes i am

Highttemplars: *Begin to chase Jay around the studio*

Jay: *walks around to avoid capture* Well there you have it folks, Buy your EMP softdrink today! Don't forget to buy its companion product Pylon Powered Jellybeans!! Thankyou, Goodnight! *Runs out of studio with templars following her*

*Disclaimer* Pylon Powered Jelly Beans is not responisble for any injuies, illnesses, or deaths resulting from our product. If you have a job in the fields of Construction or Roadwork, we do not reccomend this softdrink to you for you may have a high risk of being run over by many cars repeatedly. EMP softdrink is reccommended to those who are extremely hyper and have eaten a large quantity of Pylon Powered Jellybeans. Again, we are not responsible for any DEATHS from our prouduct. See package for deatails of our new website. We are sorry if loved ones are lost through our product.

*PYLON POWERED JELLEYBEANZ INC*
Edited by Mockingjay on 6/19/2011 8:44 AM PDT
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Posts: 21
Artex: Hello ladies and gentlemen and psionics in particular. This is the psi-storm enhancer! it allows terran gho-- err *sees group of marines* i mean operatives to cast psio-- oops, i mean lightning. only 200 minera- FFFSSSHHH!!*K *gunshot* uunngh!

Ghost: I still think the female ghosts have better equipment...

*Chk-ahheerrr-chk*

ZZZZZ augh! mother? *groan* arrgh! *fizzle crack crak*

Ghost: Well now i dont...
FFFSSSHHH#%!
badly injured marine: WHERED HE GO NOW?*Groan*
*thick*
Aaahh!
Edited by artexius on 6/18/2011 11:45 AM PDT
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Posts: 1,122
06/18/2011 11:43 AMPosted by artexius
*thick*


What??!?!?!?!!
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Posts: 21
What??!?!?!!

that is a sniper tingy
Edited by artexius on 6/19/2011 9:06 AM PDT
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Posts: 1,122
? I still don't get it.
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Posts: 9,274
its the ghosts sniper shot
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