StarCraft® II

Starcraft Bedtime Story

Straight From Hilarious Adventure


Jim Raynor was drinking and examining his kerrigan pictures.
He thinks about what she said.
He grabs his party hat, Its Tychus's B-day.
so, he and tychus go down to the "High-Templar" bar
There they found a Drunken Warfield
He got into a bar fight with a hunter killer who ate his other hand.
But the hunter killer was a protoss hallucination! So they turn around and meet a fun-loving sentry who visits bars even though he only feeds on vespene.
They all party when... THEY ARE SURROUNDED BY BLOOD SUCKING DARK TEMPLARS!!!
Jim Tychus and Uninfested Kerrigan start breaking the beer bottles over the DT's heads.
But the Dark Templars are changelings!!!! And then there is a massive ba fight between sentry hallucinations and changelings!
They realize it's a stalemate since neither can do damage. BUT THEN IN SWOOPED THE INVISIBLE PROTISS SNI-
Aww, not aga-
But then an OMEGALISK unburrowed out in the parking lot and started eating the changelings and hallucinations!
OMGWTF LAVA SUUUUURGE!!!!!!!!!
But the Omegalisk eats the lava up to save his Terran friends, and is badly wounded. Jim, Tychus, Warfield, and Kerrigan sit around the dying Zerg hero, watching him take his final breath. Stetmann and a resurrected Hanson show up with a bunch of strange vials, then exclaim together, "WE CAN SAVE HIM!". They discover that Zerg body mechanisms are actually run by the power of motherly love, and so Zeratul shows up with a blindfolded queen. He removes the blindfold, and the queen gasps *MY BABY!!!*. She transfuses the Omegalisk, and then the Omegalisk gets up and roars into the sky. At the highest climactic point of its roar, we see mutalisks, pheonixes, and vikings fly together as an Odin places its arm on the Omegalisk's shoulder, and a Mothership fills the sky with vortex fireworks.
But then the hybrids come wanting their TV back
Oh noes! Jim grabs the One Shot Revolver of Cliched Awesomeness and aims at the hybrids!
but there's like a thousand of them
but the One Shot Revolver deals splash damage over the entire map!
but then the battlefield EXPANDED!!!
BUT JIM GOT ANOTHER ONE SHOT REVOLVER
OMG NOES TYCHUS JUST REVEALED HE WANTS TO KILL KERRIGAN AND JIM WASTED THE SHOT ON HIM!!!
BUT THE SHOT MISSSSED
BUT CHRIS METZEN KNEW HE NEEDED TO KILL OFF THE BEST CHARACTER IN SC2 SOMEHOW SO HE PUSHED TYCHUS IN FRONT OF THE SHOT!
THEN HE QUICKLY DIVIDED BY ZERO JUST TO EVADE THE SHOT
JIM HAD A ONE SHOT PISTOL FACTORY MADE SO HE COULD SPALSH DAMAGE ALL OF UUUU
BUT THEN THE HYBRIDS EVEOLVED TO BE IMMUME TO ALL ONE SHOT PISTOLS!!!!
NOOOOO NOW WE DONT HAVE A WESTERN CLICHE!!! WHAT WILL WE DO?

To be continued???!!!

Credit to (in order of posts) DoomerX, Galvian, Mockingjay, Ytternal, Legacy, Wingman, TheYoungOne.
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YAY :P
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Tychus isn't the best SC2 character.
Raynor is.
Runner up is Tosh.
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Loves it!
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Loves it!
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...SUCESS....we need to keep it goin XD
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He grabs his party hat, Its Tychus's B-day.
so, he and tychus go down to the "High-Templar" bar


THE HIGH TEMPLAR BAR IS MY TRADEMARK! MINE! lol
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Hey Mockingjay I saw you make and that guy who was red griefed it with hyralisks!
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YEAH!
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You included hybrids but not the pure awesome known as Duran? Son, I am disappoint.
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