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Doomer and I, and the Immortal Amnesiac decided to try and use the larva to unclog the starving leviathan that attached itself to the side of the shi- um..i mean "Washroom" A variety of methods were attempted, such as dipping larva in caustic acids. Unfortunatly, pieces of mutalisk, phoenix pilot tendrils and viking helmets slowly dripped through a hole inside the "Washroom" , complicating the task.
Doomer also had the idea of seeing what would happen if you lit creep on fire.
Turns out I was only day dreaming, i never flew randomely into ur colocarrier (lucky me or i wouldve had to deal with that bathroom) what acctually happened was much worse, it involves the Queen of Blades/MEME and a bucket of old craft tomato soup......
Alright, so now the larva have been lit on fire, and the catastrophic growth of them has filled the entire ship. We are now all locked in the washroom of the Colocarrier. Our only silver lining in this mess is that the toilet has miraculously unclogged, allowing us to survive on a fresh (sort-of, maybe, not really) supply of water. The Terran crewmembers have fished through the toilet with a fishing line that is several light-years long and impossibly snagged a fish all the way from Earth. While eating the fish and applauding the Terran for doing such an impossible task, I realized that I had finally learned how to consume food! Unfortunately, the fishing line had been severed by a super-battlecruiser chasing an oddly Kerrigan-shaped asteroid, cutting off any further fish. The wayward Terran ship had crashed into our ship, and the lone survivor Loki (actually in fact, the only crewmember of a gigantic capital warship, which explains the bad navigations) miraculously landed right into the open window of the Colocarrier's only washroom. However, since the window was open on a spaceship, which is never a good idea, a random Zergling flew in, bringing with it doom and misfortune for all.
Fortunately, there were approximately seven of us, and only one Zergling, so we killed it. Our ship's Firebat cooked the Zergling into a cheeseburger, over which we (and I mean all of we, even the stomachless Protoss), must fight to the death over. The only solution would be to burn creep in a desperate attempt to signal rescue with black smoke against the pitch black background of space, or for us to instead feed on the thin coating of Kraft tomato soup surrounding a random amnesiac Immortal.
Also, I have no idea when I shall be online. Urgent matters are at hand, and piloting a Colocarrier from the midst of a larva surrounded washroom while attempting to equally divide a cheeseburger between several crewmembers (many of which do not even want the cheeseburger) and defeating an endless onslaught of Zerg and MEME power strains one's ability to engage in gaming on their fancy Khaydarin laptop.
Several drones flew in our spaceship, and we took all their minerals and made more burgers out of the. With the minerals I morphed most of the larva into Overlords. They flew out the window, spewing loads of Ovie gas behind them. The fire had died down in the ship and jumped along the gas clouds. Currently we are trying to figure out what to do with the several thousand flaming overlords flying around the colocarrier.
I grew tired of waiting and let my pet Reaver have the cheezburger. Reavy (my pets name) used the nutrients and heart stopping powahs of the cheez burger to make a scarab. In a joyful mood Reavy starts a game of 'Hot Scarab' with the rest of the crew members.
With the toilet unclogged and the larvae disposed of, we are now suffering from a distinct lack of entertainment. The surface of Aiur is too clogged with creep for us to land, and in an attempt to fit the parts of an entire Colossus onto a Carrier, we dropped the warp systems as ballast. Now we shall be trapped while Sally Ann makes a call to have the creep relocated to a nearby useless planet. Kerrigan, being our evil nemesis and the true form of the MEME, has put her on hold. Wfawwer, through the magic of changing portraits, has also transformed his DNA into that of a flaming overlord. He sits outsite the Colocarrier, being our sole link to the outside world.
Reavy, the friendly pet Reaver, having consumed our entire supply of larvae-burgers, has now stockpiled an entire pocketful of scarabs (one scarab beng the size of a small coin, seeing as though Reavy is the size of an actual Reaver sprite on my Khaydarin laptop). We placed the scarabs onto Tassadar's control deck and decided to play a game of marbles. DoomerX, being only able to contact us through the UED via AOL, allowed me to take his turn for him. I made him miss on purpose, instead striking the vital psionic wirings powering the Colocarrier. The ship, dying a horrible death, was cushioned by landing onto a pillow of flaming Overlords, which were then further squashed onto the planet's surface where they burnt away the nearby creep. Our friend, the invisible Protoss (protis?) sniper, has now been critically injured. The tomato soup coating of the amnesiac Immortal has all but burned to a crispy red layer of sauce, and our resident corpses were forcefully cremated. To the north lies the opening to the Nydus Network, and to the south lies the remains of the super-battlecruiser. Exploring the Nydus Network would allow us to experience child-like fun and joy from the creep induced sliding action, but scavenging the super-battlecruiser might yield free copies of Terran produced video games. In the entertainment starved world of this planet, we have to make desperate sacrifices.
SURVIVORS: Me, DoomerX via Khaydarin Laptop, MajorTom, Loki, Tassadar via a small microchip that was once the Colocarrier's brain, Wfawwer the last remaining flaming Overlord, Sally Ann, the crippled invisible Protoss Sniper, and Reavy.
Via AOL: Well DoomerX, let's just say you got quite a bit of "bang for your buck". Like, literally. The good news is that seven of the scarabs are miraculously intact and have been scattered across the surface of Aiur. In some weird twist that coincidentally seems like an entertaining plot device, Reavy is the true key to entering the hidden temple of the Preserver. To appease Reavy's robotic soul, we must travel across the land, searching far and wide. Each Protoss land to understand, the scarab that's inside...
Planet Aiur! It's you and me!
I know it's the homeworld of me,
Planet Aiur! Oh you're my last stand,
From the Zerg we must defend,
Planet Aiur! Khaydarin heart so true,
Our courage will pull us through,
You teach me and I'll teach you,
Planet Aiur! Gotta kill'em Zerg!
Every plot twist along the way,
The MEME I will face.
I will execute so many probes,
To save Protoss Snipers...
Come with me,
The ship's OP,
We'll meet Sally Ann.
Teach me food, we'll eat burgers!
It's always been my dream!
Planet Aiur! It's you and me!
Colocarrier crashed onto thee,
Planet Aiur! Oh you're my best friend,
The MEME will not end,
Planet Aiur! Random things that are true,
Dead bodies will be pulled through,
You save me and I'll save you,
Planet Aiur! Gotta kill the Queen!
GOTTA KILL'EM ZERG!
Our heroes, Captain Ytternal, AOLGuyDoomerX, Tassadar the defunct Colocarrier, and Wfawwer the flaming Overlord, are now on their way to find the first scarab and save Aiur! They show up in the first temple, only to be met by two forsaken Zealots. The Zealots, weary from the endless slaughter of Zerg they must wade through simply to cross Aiur's infested streets, do their best to lead the team into the deeper recesses of the temple. We see an old Dragoon being held together with bonding crystals, the Protoss equivalent of duct tape, and a High Templar making do with a bloody Hydralisk mattress for his afternoon nap. Soon, the exhausted Zealots lead us into the chamber of an elder. He is not the Preserver of the seven scarabs, but instead a lesser being here to aid us in our quest. His name is none other than, Preserver Oak.
Preserver Oak brings us four khaydarin based "Ihan Crystals". These crystals, like the one used by Jim Raynor, contain the memories of four different species. There is one for each element of fire, water, grass, and electricity. Being the team leader, I chose the electric crystal. Preserver Oak nods to his Zealots warriors, and they leave the room. Moments later, the High Templar floats in with a machine not unlike a portable gateway. It is a Xel' Naga reconstruction device. I place the crystal within the machine, and it gives birth to a small energy being. Preserver Oak tells me that it is an Archon merged from the Xel' Naga's first Protoss experiments, also known as an Archachu!
Tassadar, in an attempt to gain a part in the story line, grabs and uses the fire crystal. It releases a possessed empty Firebat suit. To combat him in a friendly skirmish, I release my creature.
"ARCHACHU, I CHOOSE YOU!"
Both beings are now squaring off to begin combat, but the screen goes black to a commercial break, conveniently timed to occur right at the climactic battle scene. Showing us the magic of Zerg consumerism, is Wfawwer the Flaming Overlord. With his iCreep, he can have the magic of the Hive's grey psionic food source on the go. No more starving to death, losing speed bonuses, or needing to excrete substances onto the ground below you! iCreep allows users to have that slime we all know and love packed into a container and given a catchy letter "I" at the beginning of its name! Things are always more fun to buy when they start with the 9th letter of the alphabet!
I AOL the grass crystal. A miniature Tosh comes out.
"Hey mon, ya here for teh !@#$?"
Hey Ytternal. I was playing this really cool thing on my gameboy here on earth and for some reason this feels familiar. Or the 'grass' is getting tome. This is teh shiit...
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