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I am looking for some advice.
In recent months, I feel that I have been falling for a certain attractive Banshee pilot. I'm sure that you are familiar with her work, she recently lead a couple of her wing-mates in obliterating an entire mob of Zerglings on Char. As anyone who is familiar with that event, you can see that she is very talented.
Anyway, we've been talking for sometime, and we've been getting along really well. I could almost swear she is psionic too.
Here is the problem I've been having. We haven't actually met face-to-face yet, as neither of us have had the time. Also, as a psionicaly enhanced lethal assassin, it is standard procedure to kill anyone who sees me.
As I'm sure you guess, this is why people in my line of work tend to remain cloaked, otherwise others could just follow the trail of dead bodies. Plus, it's rather messy to clean up all that blood. Some of it never comes out.
Because I really like this girl, and I'm fairly confident that the feeling is mutual, I'd rather not kill her. But, at the same time, I'd really love to meet her in person. Normally I'd ask someone else in my profession, but unfortunately, no one else has encountered this problem.
And I refuse to ask one of those pathetic ghosts, because one of them tried to kill me last week, and I still haven't forgiven them. I mean really, if you're going to try and kill someone, at least take the time to do it properly and finish the job. Firing a warning shot a foot away from my head just doesn't cut it.
Anyway, if anybody has some serious advice for me, I would greatly appreciate it.
Looking forward to responses
Lonely, slightly depressed, and lovesick Spectre
P.S. To everyone who does respond, I'm going to kill you.
P.P.S. Don't take offense to the 'I'm going to kill you' bit, it's just procedure and I try to be polite about it.
P.P.P.S. I'm still going to kill you.
Edited by Thundercrash on 8/7/2011 9:09 AM PDT
Well you could always kill your boss. Then procedure can go to pot.
P.S. The ghost that tried to kill you was me. Did you really think you got me?
P.P.S. Don't worry I've gotten over the whole 'killing me' business, want to grab a coffee?
P.P.P.S This is not a trap.
First off, from one professional to another, you really need to make sure you finish the job properly, otherwise you get sloppy. If you want I could demonstrate. We're the only ones in this area of the sector right...
Anyway, I can't kill my boss, then I would be out of a job, and frankly I like this one too much. Besides, it's also a matter of professional standards. You don't leave everyone who sees you alive for any serious length of time, do you?
This is getting serious, she wants to meet as well.
Getting a little warm under the psi-suit collar
P.S. I'm still going to kill you, things are just a little busy right now.
Edited by Thundercrash on 8/7/2011 11:24 AM PDT
Send her a spectre suit for a present, then she can cloak and you can too, making it so you don't see her! Then you don't have to kill her, and you get to see each other face to...oh...right...cloaks....
P.S. Meh, it was worth a try....even though now i'm going to die....maybe..
P.P.S. You'll have a bit of trouble finding me, Good luck trying to kill me, got this new Psi-knife and i reaaaally want to break it in....
-Jay the Ghost
Edited by Mockingjay on 8/7/2011 3:22 PM PDT
It was a good attempt, I appreciate the effort.
By the way, see that Raven behind you Jay? Yeah...
P.S. Hope you enjoyed life.
*Finishes laying the last mine*
Wait... were not meeting for coffee? Damn! I mean... oh well. Wait your coming for me... and apparently your too good for me... !@#$...
P.S Actually, I'm a *billion light years away mon! What'cha gonna do?
P.P.S You could always kill her and make a warcraft crossover series where you get a necromancer to revive her.
P.P.P.S I like pie. 0-0
*Actual number closer to 5 or 6 but you get the idea...
Edited by DoomerX on 8/7/2011 5:28 PM PDT
Uhhhhh.... *Hides the observer he had installed into his suit.*
I see notin'... I see notin'... I see notin'....
P.S. If you try to kill me, I guarantee you'll get burnt.
P.S.S. You didn't read this...
P.S.S.S. You will go propose to the banshee pilot now... *Waves hand like a jedi.*
*Jay fades into view in front of her gravestone, examineing it*
*She smirks* I win
Also, *is writing a letter to that spectre* Why would you try and kill me anyways? I thought boys couldn't hit girls, :P. Plus, you technically didn't see me, cause I e-mailed you my thoughts, so that makes no damn sense. Idk, maybe its a spectre thing, but i'ma go find me a safehouse.
*stabs the remains of her psi-knife into the ground in front of her grave and leaves*
P.S. I know the girl your talking bout. She happens to be my cousin's best friend. :P
Edited by Mockingjay on 8/8/2011 7:04 AM PDT
Well, I honestly don't know why'd you have to kill me over an e-mail, but here goes...
I honesly think you should just forget trying to meet her in person, because no matter how much fun you have when you meet her, you're eventually going to have to kill her, and (if she is 'in love' with you too) your likely to break her heart before you kill her and likely scar yours. I once had to kill my closes comrade because he had become infested, and I would've broken down emotionally if it weren't for the rest of my other friends helping me get through, though I still sometimes have nightmares of it, and have a vivid memory of the moment I fired my conc shell at him.
Private Flinn (Marauder)
P.S I've installed Detection into my HUD and I got a conc shell with your name on it, so if you come trying to kill me, I'm just going to keep firing until I figure out which one it is!
Edited by Jake on 8/7/2011 7:55 PM PDT
*Marks three notches on barrel for Firebat, Jay, and DoomerX*
(for anybody who is curious, notching your barrel is a career killer's way of keeping track how many kills they have/are planning on getting. As for your safehouse, Jay, I've already been there. Surprise.)
Edited by Thundercrash on 8/7/2011 9:08 PM PDT
Such a sad story. If I was capable of crying, I would.
Thanks for the suggestion. It hurts, but still.
By the way, how will you figure out which shell it is? I never gave you my name. She's the only other person who knows it, and believe me, she would rather turn you into a smoking line of craters than give it to you.
And also, do you name all of your conc shells?
P.S. Killing people who send me messages is kind of a habit now. Sorry. Hope you enjoyed life.
Edited by Thundercrash on 8/7/2011 9:05 PM PDT
(this is not a letter)
I hear footsteps in my house, and as I turn on my detection in case it's the 'Spectre dude', I shout out "hello? is anybody there?". I lift up my arms in readiness if he pops up in my face, and as I turn around a corner into my kitchen, I suddenly feel something warm and wet right around where my heart's supposed to be, and I'm barely able to whisper "damn, you're good..." before slumping to the ground, and I shut my eyes tight and wait for any sort of divine being to escort me to hell or heaven, and after the life I led... I'm... not... picky......*
Edited by Jake on 8/8/2011 6:44 AM PDT
...I'm not happy Spectre. *is in a random tree in some god forsaken jungle full of Zerg* I was not at that safehouse....but my boyfriend Shadow was. But of course as you began to fight him and realized it wasn't me, not even a girl...... of course you just HAD to finish the job? Didn't you? I'm reaaall pissed off now. You can garantee if you EVER finally propose to this banshee chick, i'll be at your wedding, shredder granades at hand and new psi-knife craveing blood....but not yours Spectre, i'm taking a love for a love.
P.S. I realize now how you are finding me...i keep forgeting i'm not writing to Shadow, who i normally sent a return adress to so he knew where i was and could see me...explains that first attack, and how that Raven was at hand so fast....curse my people skills. I'll leave the return adress off this time. Maybe give you a bit of a challenge huh? See you sometime.
P.P.S. You coulda just left me alone. Your girliefriend may be an easier target than you anyways. I'll have to apolagize to my cousin after this though.....
P.P.P.S. ...Just see her, !@#$ the rules, (hell, i wasn't even supposed to be seeing Shadow. They said it distracts you from your work once the unthinkable happens....they were right) you can keep it secret, you don't have to kill her you know. You do have free will....don't you....?
-Jay the now lonley Ghost
Edited by Mockingjay on 8/8/2011 7:25 AM PDT
Sorry about Shadow. Bombs have an unfortunate habit of being indiscriminate. Besides, what I supposed to do? He saw me, and I can't let everybody who sees me live. It's just not professional. I'll let you borrow one of my safehouses. I'll even shutdown some of the traps. Not all of them of course. Just enough that you should still need to be aware. As for how you'll get there... well, you seem resourceful enough to figure that out on your own.
By the way, good luck trying to kill her. After six hundred attempts, one of which giving a scar on her arm that she is very proud of, she's kind of an old pro at assassination attempts.
Don't worry, I'll be seeing you, but you definitely won't be seeing me
For fekking sake, do not shout out 'is anyone there?'. It just confirms that you are there, and it tells us exactly where you are. I realize that this is kind of late advice for you, but really, if you didn't figure that out already, then you kind of deserved that bullet.
In case you didn't know, there is a big difference between being invincible and being immortal. On an unrelated topic, how long can you hold your breath?
(Not a letter)
[This is one of Marcus's Comrades, Private First Class Bencender (Marine)]
As I walk up the the stairs on Marcus's Deck to get to his front door, I notice a blir go through one of his windows, and I immediatly charge to the front door and break through. I yell out "Marcus! Where Are you!?" As I run to his room, I freeze, as I see Marcus on the floor, with a knife in his back. I take out the knife and turn him over, and after checking his heart rate (which was about 120 beats a minute, tough basterd, considering the blade was poison tipped), I call 911 for an ambulance. ten minutes later of medical procedures to keep him alive, An ambulance comes and we get Flinn into it. I really hope he makes it.
Edited by Jake on 8/8/2011 12:40 PM PDT
Go out to a high-security New Folsom prison restaurant. Or Joey Rays, same difference...
And talk there. Mention her skills, be polite, and DON'T LET YOUR ANGER-MANAGEMENT SHOW!!(I know you have it, Mr. Spectre..)
P.S. She's hot. Don't let it get to you.
P.P.S. She's hot, is she now?
P. P. P.S. She's mine. ignore the above. *wink*
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