StarCraft® II

Amnesia Part 2

Posts: 3,763
can you guys read this short story i wrote?

THE WANDERER

-The road we walk is not one but many-
- paths that we choose to venture.-

Shin traveled down the desert road of the Unforgiving Plains. With his loyal bloodhound Bain at his heals. His Greatsword waited to be summoned. They say that the gods of destruction made a certain amount of these weapons, each priceless, deadly, and bestowed with a different power. With a straw hat atop his bald head, not really for protection from the unforgiving triple suns, but more for discretion. The only clothes he had was the white dusty old cloak his master had given him. He could still remember the day he gave him his freedom. “You are free to go now, I have trained you to use your Greatsword Hikari with ease, and it is now up to you where you want to go. I just want you to know you are like a son to me and will be welcomed back here if you ever want to return.” Having been orphaned as a child, he was forced into slavery at a young age. Shin shivered at the thought of those cold, lonely days with only a morsel of food to eat. Instead he looked to the bright future and whispered a thanks to his savior once again.
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He traveled the roads with great joy. Seeing giant powerful colossus, beings that come in all forms and sizes, lumber in the distance. Traders that come from all over the land venture the roads in wagons with bright luminescent colours. They cast curious glances and ask “who would travel the dangerous desert paths on foot?” What they don’t know is Shin relished the feeling of the warm gravel pathway upon his bare feet, loved the hot humid air coursing through his veins. He sees a food vendor nearby and pays 10 cylinder broams to buy some supplies for the trip ahead. With pockets now empty of the meagre donations he got from playing the zitar, an 8 stringed instrument much like a guitar. He was off once again on his grand adventure.
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Seeing a bustling marketplace in the distance Shin ran with haste and curiosity to see what dazzling wares the traders brought from the different corners of this world, but what his true desire was to play for the tired lonely travelers to lighten their spirits. As he approached he was bombarded with a flurry of sounds from bartering customers, laughing children, and the cooking of many foreign delicacies. There was joy and bliss in the air. Musicians from far and wide gathered slowly, each one competing to see who could draw most of the fray of eager customers. Shin found a good spot and took out his zitar. Looking out at the vast expanse of desert he sees millions of galloping hooves approaching the small helpless marketplace. A blood red flag suddenly appeared out of the fray of dust. Bandits, they were approaching fast. An eerie silence fell upon what just was a busy marketplace. Coming out of the intimidating crowd of bandits was a tall figure in gleaming armour that probably weighed a ton. He strode in front of his army and looked around like he owned the place. With his fierce gaze he regarded the travelers like pigs ready to be slaughtered. With a deep voice he said “we are the Hands of Khan, kneel before us and give us everything you have, or else…” with a swift motion he lopped a melon a merchant was holding clean in half. Juices spilling all over the trembling man’s hands.

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Shin, seeing all this from the farthest corner waged a battle in his head. He had the power to stop all this, but with bloodshed. Did he really want to protect all these people with violence? The answer was finally clear when a bandit threw a boy not even 10 to the ground and took the meagre supply of cylinder braoms he had. Out of the crowd he leaped, Hikari materialized in his waiting hands. One side black, the other white. It had the appearance of a katana but was deadlier then a whole army. Bandits with spears stunned, charged at him. Slicing through all the tips in one swoop Shin was still baffled seeing his Greatsword in actual action. Then 6 peoples lives ended in an instant. Bandits on horses charged with maces. Shin jumped up beheaded one and drove the horse to crash into another. Slicing a mace in half he went under the horse and ended its life quickly throwing the bandit to the ground with a sickening crack. Deflecting blows from all sides Shin slammed the butt of his blade into a bandit’s nose and sliced another in a spray of blood. In a large arc he swung, 10 more fell at his feet. Bandits with twin axes charged mindlessly towards him, acting quick he swung downwards killing one. The others he twirled around and sliced. With rapid movements he killed, upwards, to the right, jab, twist, jump, cut. Soon only a small force remained, terrified they fled in different directions. With Hikari’s ability he centred a point of gravity on the bandit which was speaking and launched himself at his helm. With great speed and power he hit the designated target with great force. The armor did not budge, not even a dent.

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It was Shin and who he presumed was the bandit leader. Another Greatsword formed in the leader’s hand, a huge blood red axe. Shin, a bit surprised dashed at his foe. Parries deflections each side fought fiercely. It was a deadly dance with only one of the two partners could come out alive. Seeing a weak spot Shin made an uppercut with his blade. The mysterious leader let the blow hit. Nothing, the axe came down, knowing that Shin had no chance blocking it he centred the point of gravity on a wagon. Flying back with force he broke the stand landing a greater distance away than excepted. Centreing the point of gravity again on the chest plate of his foe he hurtled towards him and knocked the lumbering enemy over. “it’s done” Shin said as he slit the bandit’s throat. Bain creeping out of his hiding place joined him as they walked into the magnificent setting sun. He smiled then let Hikari disappear in a flash of blinding light. Shin had saved many at the expense of others. However, he did not regret his choice. The pair walked towards the twisting paths of fate that lay ahead. Forgotten.
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Posts: 3,763
FLUP YOU GONNA READ MY STORY?
sry had caps on
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Posts: 3,763
criticism is welcome
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Posts: 4,226
...
Watching from the corner is fuuuuuun.
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Posts: 3,763
so i'm gonna make another thread since this one is full but flup post your criticism on this one
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Posts: 5,135
12/20/2011 05:44 PMPosted by darkra
criticism is welcome


A little too jumpy for my taste, but you get an A+ for effort.
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Posts: 219
Okay, i can't really do much until HBRB does something, as i am currently bunkered down in the worldship's bridge, trying not to get killed.
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Posts: 2,623
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Edited by Jake on 12/26/2011 7:17 AM PST
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