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Please criticize this next story. I don't think its as good as Devroy Manufacturing, but this one tells the story of Sean Trope(From Ghost Ship).
Sean Trope will be playing a huge role in my epic saga that is to come. It will be important to know Sean's backstory a little bit.
I am still working on this story, it is not finished.
“Don't worry, its just another patrol shift.” Johnny Shields assured his friend.
“I know, I know. Its just that... We just took these new grounds and you never know what could happen.” Sean Trope replied.
“They think the war is almost over, its going to be fine.”
“Yeah, but why do you always sign me up for the patrol shifts farthest from base?” The two chuckled, then continued arming up in the armory.
It had been almost a month since Brontes was recolonized as a dominion fringe world. Nobody knows what happened to the rebels that once resided here during the brood wars, but there have been some skirmishes with terran, zerg, and protoss. Still, nobody was sure how many of them were there. Johnny and Sean were deployed with Commander Jason Scott to retake Brontes. After he sent scouts across the whole planet, they returned with no information because of the thick ash clouds around volcanic area, the trees that were so tall anything could easily hide underneath them and the ones that were sent so far out to the wasteland that resided to the east and west, haven’t come back. The commander claims its because they ran out of fuel or some other natural accident occurred. All the soldiers know thats not true.
After Sean had equipped his usual gear he started for the door.
“Hey, where are you going? You kinda forgot your power suit.” Johnny asked his friend
“Im going to go check on my boy.” Sean replied
“You have five minutes before our dropship is here!” Johnny warned
“Our patrol is so far away we have to go by dropship?” Sean queried with concern. Johnny didn’t reply, he just resumed gearing up. When sean reached his private quarters he found his door open. Waves of panic washed over him. He tried to calm himself but couldn’t help but fear the worst. He rushed in and darted his eyes in every which direction looking for Andrew, his five year old son.
“oh, no.” Sean muttered while still searching under his bed like a mad scientist who had lost his zerg experiment.
“oh, no.. no, no, no, no... Not right before a shift, God help-”
“Where are you going, Daddy?” His son asked from behind him. Sean’s spirits lifted and what felt like a two ton weight lifted with it. Sean breathed a sigh of relief and whirled around. There stood his little son in rag tag clothing, the only clothing Sean could afford. He clench “Roofis” Andy’s teddy bear that Sean's father had made the poor boy before he passed. Roofis was the only thing that kept Andrew asleep at night. Without it he would cry and fear the world. He felt so alone without it.
“I will be back shortly, I have a shift okay buddy?” Sean quickly approached Andrew and hugged him tightly.
“I don’t like it when you leave...” Andy said quietly.
“I know bud, but I have to to keep you safe.”
“Why? I’m right here.” Andy replied shyly, almost beginning to cry.
“No, no. Don't cry. I will be back when you wake up, okay?”
“Okay...” Andrew buried his head in Sean’s chest.
“Okay?” Sean rubbed his back and picked him up. Andrew released a scream, like the one you make when someone is tickling you to death. Sean spun him around and andrew laughed and laughed. Sean set him down on his bed.
“Okay, now I don't want you to leave this room until I come back.”
“No buts!” Sean pointed his finger at him.
“Good boy.” Sean massaged his back and kissed him on the forehead. “I will be back before you can blink.” Sean stood up and walked out of the room. He closed the door and key-pad locked it. What if he gets hungry? Oh, right, there is a fridge in there...
When Sean turned around John was standing there in a power suit.
“Come on man! We’re late!” John rushed.
“Don't wait for me, man.”
“you’re coming, whether you are in a power suit or not.” Sean sighed and walked quickly to the “power-up” room, as they called it. He stepped into the machine as it whirled to life. It grabbed his wrists and began to armor him. After the “suiting up” was complete, Sean stepped out and grabbed his C-14 gauss rifle and looked in the mirror. It showed a green-eyed 5’ 11’’ man with a brown haired buzz cut and whiskers for facial hair. Satisfied, Sean remotely lowered his helmet. His mask had a target on it.
“What the-!?” Sean belly-laughed loudly. “Johnny...” He whispered shaking his head.
Sean walked out of the “Suit up” room and began walking to the Helipad just outside. When he reached the door, it opened automatically revealing a drop ship that had its engines revved and ready to go. It seemed as though everyone was waiting on him. He walked up and boarded the dropship, taking the first seat available.
“Glad you could make it.” Said sergeant Nolan. Sean strapped in and the ship lifted. Pretty soon, Sean dosed off.
When he left, Andrew felt alone. Andrew missed his father already. He got up and walked over to where his father always sat, his favorite chair in front of the TV. He sat there for several minutes before blinking several times.
“You said you would be back before I could blink!” Andrew cried to himself. He sat there and cried for about ten minutes before snuggling into a ball and falling asleep.
“Come on, Sean! No sleeping on the job!” Srgt. Nolan screamed at him. Sean jolted awake and looked around. He was the only one on the drop ship. The rest had already gotten off and were looking around. Sean jumped up and out. The drop ship flew away and left the eight of them there in the camp. The camp consisted of about twenty soldiers, now twenty eight. Sergeant Jauffre approached Sergeant Nolan and they began discussing the patrol route.
“Susan.” Sean said quietly.
“What?” A computerized voice responded, his HUD.
“Clock.” Sean ordered. Just then, a digital clock appeared in his HUD. It read six fifty three EST(Earth Standard Time)
“Okay marines! We don't get payed by the hour, lets get a move on!” Srgt.... Nolan barked. The eight marines from his patrol gathered around him, including Sean and John. “Follow my lead, we are taking this patrol by ground vehicle, so stick close.” Everyone seemed to know what to do and where to go, except Sean.
The sergeant shook his head.
“Sean, no sleeping next time okay?”
“Good, you’re on foot.” Sean nodded and ran to the convoy that consisted of two jeeps and an armored carrier. The convoy began to move out, and Sean with it. Time passed faster then usual. After an hour of walking, They had already traveled four miles.
Sean started to notice glistening lights in the distance. Not lights like headlights, but like campfire light. As they drew closer Sean counted ten terrans sitting around the fire. As the patrol grew nearer, more emerged from houses with weapons. They all stood up, ready to greet us... or kill us.
“Say and do, nothing.” The sergeant said over the radio. “I will take care of this.” Suuure you’ll “take care of it.”
Edited by MarkusDaWise on 10/4/2012 1:24 PM PDT
“Greetings, we come in peace.” Sergeant Nolan assured them.
“No you don't.” said a man in his mid twenties who looked like he hadn’t showered in days. He wore rag tag clothes that could pass as a ripped up towel.
“What do you fella’s call yourselves? What is you’re profession?” Sergeant Nolan tried to get as much information from them as possible so that when he returned to Commander Scott to report, he didn’t look like a blubbering fool that found something, but nothing at the same time.
“We used to be of the Fist of Redemption.” Said a healthy, bulky man who looked like he took care of himself. He was obviously the leader.
“What's that?” Sergeant Nolan pushed.
“We used to fight against the Confederates, we stood strong during the Brood wars with Tassadar's expeditionary force. At the end of the Brood Wars, the dominion stood tall, and we were forgotten. I take it you are the dominion, coming to claim our lands?”
“Not exactly, we are-”
“Enough! I know who you are. I can see that pretty symbol on each of your arms.” The leader roared.
“Is this all of you?” Sergeant Nolan was treading on thin ice and he knew it. Sean was wondering why we were still here. It was obvious they didn’t want us here, and Sean didn’t want to be here.
“No, we broke off of the Fist of Redemption to start a peaceful farming community that you see here. Atticus Carpenter hates us. He claims we betrayed him even though all we wanted to do was settle down after the Brood Wars.”
“Where are the Fist of Redemption located?”
“All around the planet, they have pretty much claimed it for their own, although, with no contact with the outside worlds it has become increasingly difficult.”
The sound of banshees in the distance grew louder and louder as they screamed toward our position.
“What is that!?” Sergeant Nolan asked the leader.
“The Fist of Redemption! They have been threatening to take our lands if we did not “rejoin” them, but I didn’t think they would actually kill us!”
Sean began to panic. He wanted nothing to do with this commotion. He was done listening to this guy babble on. But now, with banshees overhead, who knows what could happen. Were they really going to bomb us? The sound of missiles leaving their pods were heard. A sound Sean never wanted to hear while he was on the surface.
“Take cover!” Nolan yelled. Panic and fear overwhelmed Sean, he froze and couldn’t move. He saw John run into a building to his right. Out of the corner of his eye he could see a back-lash rocket impale the ground nearly three feet to the left of him. The sound of explosions ringed in Sean’s ears as his feet left the ground and he flailed in the air. Sean crashed through the walls of the building and wanted to close his eyes and die. He was done with the cares of this world and he had only just begun. He could hear men screaming and barking orders. He could hear men’s last words before they exploded. Johnny Sean suddenly realized that Johnny could be dead right now. He turned to see Johnny on the floor.
“Johnny!” He yelled. “Speak to me!” Sean pulled himself off the floor and ran to Johnny.
“Susan, Read Johnny’s Vitals!”
“Affirmative, Johnny Reynolds, Vitals.”
Johnny’s Vitals came up on his HUD. Nothing out of the ordinary. Thank God! Sean heard more banshees on the way. He also heard another screech as a missile came plummeting closer and closer. He could hear it was going to hit this house, and that would be the end. Sean closed his eyes and heard only death and destruction. When he finally awoke and got grips on life. He opened his eyes to see Johnny’s Vitals. His heart beat was none existent. His heart rate was zero.
Sean began to fall apart. Johnny was Sean’s only friend even through high school. They joined the military together because Mengsk had promised them free land if they helped recolonize Brontes. And now, he was dead, and there was nothing he could do. Sean just lay there in his power suit. that was undoubtedly destroyed.
Sean sat up to see everything destroyed. It had appeared as though he was the only survivor. Sean stood up and limped to the personal carrier that seemed untouched. He banged on the door.
“Open up! Its me, Sean!”
“Sean who?” Sergeant Nolan’s voice asked through the door.
“Trope?” There was a pause, but then the door opened.
“You okay, kid?”
“Yeah, im fine. Lets get back to HQ.” Sean offered. Sergeant Nolan nodded his head and sat down in the drivers seat. Sean sat in one of the passenger seats thinking about what was going to happen now that the Dominion have discovered the Fist of Redemption. It only took fifteen minutes to get back to HQ with Sergeant Nolan flooring it as he was.
“uuh, Sean, you might want to take a look at this.”
Sean got up and sat back down in shotgun. Once he relaxed, he looked up to see HQ in burning flames. Flash backs of Andrew overwhelmed him. Sean tried to gasp for air but it seemed as though he couldn’t breath. Sean was in disbelief of what he was seeing. How was this possible?
“NOOO!” Sean screamed and tried to get the door to open, but it was locked. “No, no no! I promised I would return! I promised! ANDREW!!!” When the door wasn’t opening Sean was filled with rage. He leaned back, and kicked the door off of the armored carrier.
“Sean! Sean wait! Stop!” Sean did not stop, he continued running as fast as he could to the heaping pile of wreckage where HQ once stood.
“Thats an order! Get back here!” Sean turned around and said,
“My son is in there! Kick me out if that’s what you want, hang me for treason, I don’t care!”
Sean continued toward the burning wreckage. The base’s front door was locked, like that would stop Sean. He leveled his gun and fired an entire mag into the door. By the time he got to the door, he dived into it and the door buckled under the pressure. The door was stuburn though and it left Sean on the floor unable to move. The suit was in lockdown.
“Suzan! Emergency eject!” The suit came to pieces and Sean stood up. He stumbled around the burning wreckage, but finally came to the door which used to be his private quarters. Again, it was left open. Why is it always open when I come back?
Sean Tore in the room.
“Andy!” Sean called, but got no reply. Sean looked around, but found only his living quarters completely untouched. Nothing was missing, except Andrew. Sean fell to his knees and wept. He didn’t care to live anymore.
“Sean!” Sergeant Nolan’s voice echoed from the entrance of the base.
“I dont care, Serg!” Sean cied.
“Sean, where are you!?” Sean didn’t bother to respond. After ten minutes of weeping on the floor, Sean drug himself up. He stood there, looking around, trying to find any clues of Andrew’s where abouts. He noticed foot prints that weren’t there before he left. Although, they could be his. He noticed some bullet shells too. hmm... thats unusual.
That is when he stood up and walked over to the living room part of his living quarters. Roofis was laying on the chair Sean always sat on. Sean picked Roofis up and peered into his eyes. Roofis was missing an arm and there were blood stains on his face. Sean began crying again. His legs became wobley and Sean turned around and fell in his favorite chair. He lay there and cried himself to sleep.
Edited by MarkusDaWise on 10/17/2012 6:24 PM PDT
I know, but many people enjoy reading and critiquing such as thundercrash and smylez and Fantasy... etc.
Many people enjoy reading and critiquing stories, I am trying to attract that crowd.
Also, keep in mind I wrote this before I made Sinister Outpost.
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