Now to the important stuff...
A Jim Raynor -- Cheap, harsh, and served up warm in a filthy glass.
A Tychus Findlay -- You’re not actually sure what it is, but you spilled a few drops and the counter is still smoking.
The Zeratul -- It isn’t served to you, instead it appears from the shadows. Then, when you try to drink it, you experience weird visions and the glass disappears.
Zergling “Special” -- “Hello my baby, hello my honey, hello my rag-time gal…”
Firebat -- Burns goin’ down AND comin’ back up.
Psi-Storm -- Hits so hard you’ll remember what happened tomorrow, yesterday.
Grounds for Divorce -- Matt Horner was drinking these when he “won” a fateful card game.
What He’s Having -- Kachinsky always seems to be in here, so whatever he’s having must be pretty good.
Baneling Body Shot -- Are you sure this is a good idea? I’m not sure where to put the lime...
A Glass of Milk -- “Whaddya mean there aren’t any cows in Koprulu? Where’d this come from then?“
The Solar Shot -- For those looking for a good time. Flame-proof clothing recommended, cuz you’ll be shining brighter than the star of Typhon.
Korhalian BackStabber -- Good for the recently betrayed and left for dead.
The Jail Breaker -- new from the recently opened New Folsom Prison Bar.
The Bloody Medic -- kills the pain, but we still say you should have a doctor check that out.
Redstone Mixer -- expensive, but I can guarantee it’ll be served in a clean and sterilized glass. Careful, that lava’s hot.
The Broadcaster -- You’re not ready for the raw $ex appeal this sucker brings. A favorite of a certain ex-convict.
The Hellracer -- suspension of sobriety is an integral part of any drinking experience, but this experience requires suspension of sobriety and inhibitions.
The Maelstrom Shocker -- Only served here, a 40% bigger hit than standard Shockers, guaranteed.
Psionic Cooler -- yes, I know it feels weird. Don’t worry, the energy coming out of your body should wear off in a couple days
(insert generic letters to indicate gibberish) -- I don’t know what’s in it either, but that guy down there had one. He started screaming and thrashing for a while, and now he hasn’t gotten up off the floor in over an hour.
The Judicator -- Perfect for influencing the minds of the intoxicated.
Prismatic Void -- Gets better with every drink. Has been known to be lethal.
Mind Shredder: perfect for those wishing to forget everything and start a new life. For anyone not wishing to do this, this drink isn’t advised.
Scotty Bolgers old no. 8: the good stuff
Andorian Ale: Can’t tell you how I got this, its a trade secret.
Charge: Made using stim and several other ingredients. Side effects vary.
Mjolnir (Thor’s Hammer): If you really want to feel hammered, this is for you. Served with a side of hot lead.
Enlightenment: tell me when you get there.
Marine: may cause you to see the counter vanish
Feedback: served cold. All those annoying voices in your head start telling you what you did wrong today.
M.U.L.E.: Good buzz, but may cause a break down later.
Haven Splitter: you’ll either feel warm, safe, and content, or depressed, paranoid, and possibly like injecting yourself with random serums. 50/50 shot.
Ace Suicide: I don’t actually know what this does. Nor do I recommend it.
Alcoholic Projector: Ever wanted to know what you’re actually like when you get totally trashed? Take a few sips of this, and all the alcohol in your system will condense into a ‘party’ version of yourself, where you are completely wasted, have no inhibitions, and are just out for a ‘little’ fun. The more you’ve drunk beforehand, the better the projection. Have fun!
The HBRB: however crazy you think you are, this will make you worse. Yes, that includes you, namesake.
The Noodle Incident: we all know what happens when you take this. It needs no explanation.
Little bit of everything: Exactly what it says. I’ve taken everything I’ve got, mixed it together, and put in the laser accelerator for a few hours. There’s no telling what will happen.
Slicer: Has the unique property that it changes effect depending on the drinker's personality, amplifying any traits they have a good thousand times over. Buzzes in the back of your skull begin after three drinks, amplify slowly, and you randomly sprout wings after the 11th glass.
The Scoutmaster: May result in the drinkee feeling experiencing high levels of Trustworthiness, Loyalty, Helpfulness, Friendliness, Courtesy, Kindness, Obedience, Cheerfulness, Thriftiness, Bravery, Cleanliness, and Reverence. Not Recommended for parties.
Mar Sara Black: need a pick me up, or something for radiation poisoning? Or jut something to get a good buzz going that doesn’t break down? Then say good night, because we won’t be seeing you until the morning. If you wake up.
The Smylez: This beverage is delicious, trust me. Drinking it will have absolutely no harmful effects on you (please ignore the green smoke), and your liver and kidneys will not be damaged in the least. Seriously.
Nukester's Supreme - Some said he was crazy, he said they were right. After much struggling, he added this drink to the menu. Crimson red and transparent, this steams, and condensation will gather on the glass. Take a sip, and go for a ride, anything could happen. Side effects may vary; depending on weight. Only consume in shot glasses. Nukester is not responsible for any changes in behavior, or appearance. See your doctor if it gets in eyes.
pylon shards (for those that need that extra crunchy glitter)
hydralisk spine umbrella (not for the more bubbly drinks)
Mentos: you’ve seen that experiment with Coke? Wait till you see what happens with this stuff.
Laser accelerator: Heh heh, you think you’ve had it all? Time for a little ‘randomosity’. Maximum time of one week.
The menu will updated every so often, so check back to see if there is anything new you might like to try. There are only two rules here: If anyone starts a bar fight I will either:
1) throw you into the pen of Hybrids I keep in the back. I feed them regularly, but you know how voracious Hybrids are
2) personally lock you up in my dungeon and make a drink out of you.
and 3: what happens in the bar, stays in the bar.
So come. Drink. Enjoy. Chat with friends. Make new ones. Pick up a date [or a one night stand ;) ]. Drown your sorrows. Complain about your life. For those of the literary bent, use this opportunity to get the creative juices [among other things] flowing.
As long as you pay your tab, and don’t break anything, I really don’t care what you do. And the best part is: no hangovers! Seriously...