StarCraft® II

A Rift in Shadow Valley (Story)

Posts: 5,878
In late fall, 2342, a pair of babies, twins, were born. One was a boy, he had blond hair, rosy cheeks, and blue eyes. They named this boy " Joshua", though he would later be called Josh. The second the two twins....she was different. She had glowing green eyes, and dark, silky black hair, unusually long for such a littl'un. She was named Alexandria, and she was to be special.

____

Three years passed, and the parents were as happy as could be. Josh was developing normal, perhaps a little slower than average, but normal. Alexandria, however, was not. She was maturing and learning far faster than any other child in the large city of Williamsburg, where their parents, Michelle and Jason, had been living together for 13 years. Alexandria, as it turned out, was psionic. Michelle and Jason grew fearful, for they had heard of the things that the dominion did to her kind, forcing them into the military. So, they decided to isolate their children, and so Michelle and Josh grew to be best friends, and Josh knew to tell nobody what was up with his "weird sister".

_____

Josh was fearful, he was scared that he'd let it slip that his sister was psionic. She was by this time 16, as was he, and they'd, for the most part, lived a normal life. That was all about to change. A few dominion officers came into the small community in which the family lived, and this always meant something bad. The family had not yet moved, and the children still loved their little 2 story house. They were home-schooled, though they had made friends. Well, Josh had anyways, it was on that one fateful day in which he hung out with his friends, playing football, when the thing that was to tear his family apart happened.

"Ready...set...HIKE!" Shouted a large boy, who was about 17 years of age. His receiver, Josh, went out long, beat the coverage, and caught the ball which was so perfectly spiraled towards him. As they celebrated, Josh received a call on his phone, and the person on the other line, who was easily recognizable as Michelle, said in a solemn tone, "You've got to come home." He turned and explained to his friends, and said goodbye to the big one, whose name was Austin.

_____

As Josh arrived at the house, he saw the thing which he'd eternally dreaded. A pair of dominion marines stood outside the house, and were talking to Josh's parents. He overheard the conversation.

"I'm sorry ma'am, but she's got to go." Said the first faceless Marine.

"You can't...you can't take her!" Said Michelle hysterically. In the backround he saw his father, hugging with his daughter and crying, and she was crying as well. She'd never wanted to be a Ghost, and had told him once that she'd rather die.

"Oh god...poor Alexandria!" He said, then swore to himself.

"Listen miss, she's got to go now, we're running on a schedule." Said the remorseless Marine. Josh felt nothing but hatred and spite for the Marine, and wished for him to go to hell. He came running up to the door, and quickly one of the Marines turned to him.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"She's my sister! You can't take her, you demon!" He shouted.

The Marine, filled with rage, hit Josh in the mouth, and Josh was out cold for a few minutes at least....
Edited by Dacder on 12/12/2012 10:53 PM PST
Reply Quote
Posts: 5,878
I'll make new segments when I can, but I can't promise anything. Feel free to critique as you see fit, and please point out any mistakes I make.
Reply Quote
Posts: 8,030
Your title needs to be A Rift in Shadow Valley rather then A rift in Shadow Valley. Just sayin'
Reply Quote
Posts: 7,820
Aside from Mark's nitpicking, this looks good, I just want to see more.
Edited by Warhawk on 12/10/2012 9:11 PM PST
Reply Quote
Posts: 5,878
12/10/2012 09:10 PMPosted by MarkusDaWise
Your title needs to be A Rift in Shadow Valley rather then A rift in Shadow Valley. Just sayin'
Just realized it. Thanks for the heads up regardless.

12/10/2012 09:11 PMPosted by Warhawk
Aside from Mark's nitpicking, this looks good, I just want to see more.
Thanks, I'll probably write a second part tomorrow...glad you like it. :)
Reply Quote
Posts: 8,030
:P

Just playiin around. xD

But seriously... It will bug me...
Reply Quote
Posts: 27,184
Mark, come back to the chat room.
Reply Quote
Posts: 1,783
I know, I know I don't belong here but I decided to check Joeys out. Sounds interesting, nice writing Dac.
Reply Quote
Posts: 8,030
You're welcome here!

All GD members are welcome actually, but trolling is not welcome and will not be tolerated.
Reply Quote
Posts: 1,783
You're welcome here!

All GD members are welcome actually, but trolling is not welcome and will not be tolerated.
I was expecting as much but there's a big difference between being welcome and being expected. No offense if you took any from the above statement.
Reply Quote
Posts: 8,030
I know there is a difference. I was simply stating that you are, in fact, welcome.

None taken.
Reply Quote
Posts: 1,783
You definitely show more hospoitality than some of the GD's, that's for sure.
Reply Quote
Posts: 8,030
Some of the GD's are trolls. I hate to say it, but most of them are.
Reply Quote
Posts: 1,783
12/10/2012 11:49 PMPosted by MarkusDaWise
Some of the GD's are trolls. I hate to say it, but most of them are.
I've been there long enough to realize that.
Reply Quote
Posts: 5,878
Josh woke up, but he felt dizzy and his head hurt. He saw Alexandria run upstairs, and the two marines chasing after her. Josh could see his mother, see was sobbing, while her father was pleading her to come back. Presently he heard a commotion upstairs, and he saw his sister near the window sill.

"Stop! Don't do something you regret!" Yelled the Marine.

"I won't." Responded Alexandria simply. At that point, he saw her open the window, and jump. He wouldn't have been concerned, except for the metal fence that was near where she was jumping. Josh only then realized what she was doing.

__________

Alexandria knew what she was doing, but why she'd done it she didn't know. All she knew is that she had no want to be a Ghost. And it was worse than death. As she fell now, she felt weightless, like she was on a rollercoaster. She saw her whole difficult life flashing before her, as she steadily seemed to decrease in speed towards a spike on the wall. As the cold metal touched her, she shuttered, and went numb.
____________

"NOOOO!" He yelled. But it was too late, and she came down on an eight inch spike, the horrible piece of cold, unforgiving metal penetrating her heart. Josh passed out, his mother fainted, and his father screamed in rage.

Josh got up, and ran towards the Marine which had stayed down, and screamed at him in great desperation,

"You devil! You've killed my sister! Rot in hell!" He screamed, before passing out. The commotion had brought few people to look at the horrific sight, and before long an ambulance came, and pronounced her dead.

____________

Josh woke up, and saw his father discussing something with the Marines, and crying, while his mother was tending to his dying sister. Josh gets up, and walks over to her,

"Alexandria...I'm so sorry...."

"Don't be, for you have wronged me naught." She replied, before giving him a weak hug.

"Goodbye, Alexandria." Josh says, tears welling up in his eyes. Just then, Alexandria stopped breathing, her heart stopped beating, and her brain stopped thinking. Josh turned away and wept, and his mother came, and hugged him, and he wept too. But then the father came, and composing himself, he uttered horrible words.

"Josh, you're going to have to go with them." He said, and he broke down and cried as well. And his mother cried, and then all cried, lost forever in that moment.

_________________

The guard turned to the men on board the small shuttle, there were six of them, and all of them looked different.

"We're here, we'll reach the main facility in about ten minutes. Welcome to Shadow Valley!" He said cheerfully.
Edited by Dacder on 12/11/2012 6:30 PM PST
Reply Quote
Posts: 7,820
nice... the death was too short and quick though. It needs more detail.
Reply Quote
Posts: 5,878
12/11/2012 06:20 PMPosted by Warhawk
nice... the death was too short and quick though. It needs more detail.
I was thinking that as well, but those two posts were basically just an intro. Alexandria, a minor character.
Reply Quote
Posts: 27,184
Not minor, the reason behind Josh's doings.
Reply Quote
Posts: 5,878
12/11/2012 06:22 PMPosted by Zarkun
Not minor, the reason behind Josh's doings.
While it'll certainly have something to do with his decisions, the importance is that he was taken instead of her, I'll edit in a better death real quick though.
Reply Quote
Posts: 27,184
Maybe throw the next part up while you're at it?
Reply Quote

Please report any Code of Conduct violations, including:

Threats of violence. We take these seriously and will alert the proper authorities.

Posts containing personal information about other players. This includes physical addresses, e-mail addresses, phone numbers, and inappropriate photos and/or videos.

Harassing or discriminatory language. This will not be tolerated.

Forums Code of Conduct

Report Post # written by

Reason
Explain (256 characters max)
Submit Cancel

Reported!

[Close]