StarCraft® II

Zanon's PRP Bar (Part 17)

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Continued from Zanon's PRP Bar (Part 16)
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The code of conduct remains unchanged my friends, what I say goes, and the roaches in the back haven't been fed recently. (Please excuse me while I fix that)

Now to the important stuff...

Drink menu:

A Jim Raynor -- Cheap, harsh, and served up warm in a filthy glass.

A Tychus Findlay -- You’re not actually sure what it is, but you spilled a few drops and the counter is still smoking.

The Zeratul -- It isn’t served to you, instead it appears from the shadows. Then, when you try to drink it, you experience weird visions and the glass disappears.

Zergling “Special” -- “Hello my baby, hello my honey, hello my rag-time gal…”

Firebat -- Burns goin’ down AND comin’ back up.

Psi-Storm -- Hits so hard you’ll remember what happened tomorrow, yesterday.

Grounds for Divorce -- Matt Horner was drinking these when he “won” a fateful card game.

What He’s Having -- Kachinsky always seems to be in here, so whatever he’s having must be pretty good.

Baneling Body Shot -- Are you sure this is a good idea? I’m not sure where to put the lime...

A Glass of Milk -- “Whaddya mean there aren’t any cows in Koprulu? Where’d this come from then?“

The Solar Shot -- For those looking for a good time. Flame-proof clothing recommended, cuz you’ll be shining brighter than the star of Typhon.

Korhalian BackStabber -- Good for the recently betrayed and left for dead.

The Jail Breaker -- new from the recently opened New Folsom Prison Bar.

The Bloody Medic -- kills the pain, but we still say you should have a doctor check that out.

Redstone Mixer -- expensive, but I can guarantee it’ll be served in a clean and sterilized glass. Careful, that lava’s hot.

The Broadcaster -- You’re not ready for the raw $ex appeal this sucker brings. A favorite of a certain ex-convict.

The Hellracer -- suspension of sobriety is an integral part of any drinking experience, but this experience requires suspension of sobriety and inhibitions.

The Maelstrom Shocker -- Only served here, a 40% bigger hit than standard Shockers, guaranteed.

Psionic Cooler -- yes, I know it feels weird. Don’t worry, the energy coming out of your body should wear off in a couple days

(insert generic letters to indicate gibberish) -- I don’t know what’s in it either, but that guy down there had one. He started screaming and thrashing for a while, and now he hasn’t gotten up off the floor in over an hour.

The Judicator -- Perfect for influencing the minds of the intoxicated.

Prismatic Void -- Gets better with every drink. Has been known to be lethal.

Mind Shredder: perfect for those wishing to forget everything and start a new life. For anyone not wishing to do this, this drink isn’t advised.

Scotty Bolgers old no. 8: the good stuff

Andorian Ale: Can’t tell you how I got this, its a trade secret.

Charge: Made using stim and several other ingredients. Side effects vary.

Mjolnir (Thor’s Hammer): If you really want to feel hammered, this is for you. Served with a side of hot lead.

Enlightenment: tell me when you get there.

Marine: may cause you to see the counter vanish

Feedback: served cold. All those annoying voices in your head start telling you what you did wrong today.

M.U.L.E.: Good buzz, but may cause a break down later.

Haven Splitter: you’ll either feel warm, safe, and content, or depressed, paranoid, and possibly like injecting yourself with random serums. 50/50 shot.

Ace Suicide: I don’t actually know what this does. Nor do I recommend it.

Alcoholic Projector: Ever wanted to know what you’re actually like when you get totally trashed? Take a few sips of this, and all the alcohol in your system will condense into a ‘party’ version of yourself, where you are completely wasted, have no inhibitions, and are just out for a ‘little’ fun. The more you’ve drunk beforehand, the better the projection. Have fun!

The HBRB: however crazy you think you are, this will make you worse. Yes, that includes you, namesake.

The Noodle Incident: we all know what happens when you take this. It needs no explanation.

Little bit of everything: Exactly what it says. I’ve taken everything I’ve got, mixed it together, and put in the laser accelerator for a few hours. There’s no telling what will happen.

Slicer: Has the unique property that it changes effect depending on the drinker's personality, amplifying any traits they have a good thousand times over. Buzzes in the back of your skull begin after three drinks, amplify slowly, and you randomly sprout wings after the 11th glass.

The Scoutmaster: May result in the drinkee feeling experiencing high levels of Trustworthiness, Loyalty, Helpfulness, Friendliness, Courtesy, Kindness, Obedience, Cheerfulness, Thriftiness, Bravery, Cleanliness, and Reverence. Not Recommended for parties.

Mar Sara Black: need a pick me up, or something for radiation poisoning? Or jut something to get a good buzz going that doesn’t break down? Then say good night, because we won’t be seeing you until the morning. If you wake up.

The Smylez: This beverage is delicious, trust me. Drinking it will have absolutely no harmful effects on you (please ignore the green smoke), and your liver and kidneys will not be damaged in the least. Seriously.

Drink accessories:

pylon shards (for those that need that extra crunchy glitter)

hydralisk spine umbrella (not for the more bubbly drinks)

Mentos: you’ve seen that experiment with Coke? Wait till you see what happens with this stuff.

Laser accelerator: Heh heh, you think you’ve had it all? Time for a little ‘randomosity’. Maximum time of one week.

The menu will updated every so often, so check back to see if there is anything new you might like to try. There are only two rules here: If anyone starts a bar fight I will either:

1) throw you into the pen of Roaches I keep in the back. I feed them regularly, but you know how voracious Zerg are

2) personally blow your head off, and use your dead body to make new drinks

and 2: what happens in the bar, stays in the bar.

So come. Drink. Enjoy. Chat with friends. Make new ones. Pick up a date [or a one night stand ;) ]. Drown your sorrows. Complain about your life. For those of the literary bent, use this opportunity to get the creative juices [among other things] flowing.

As long as you pay your tab, and don’t break anything, I really don’t care what you do. And the best part is: no hangovers!
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---Reserved for Bar History & Events---

Thundercrash starts it. (Thundercrash PRP bar)

I take it over. (Zanon's PRP Bar, parts 1-4)

Thundercrash takes it back. (Thundercrash Bar Dimension)

I take it back (Zanon's PRP Bar, parts 5-7)

I leave for a few days, and will it to Draconus (The New Bar, Parts 1-2)

Smylez hijacks the new bar. (Chaos)

Zanon's PRP Bar (Parts 8-15)

Thunder's and Zanon's PRP Bar (Parts 1-5)

The Dime and Spectre: KnarledOne's PRP Inn

Zanon's PRP Bar (Part 16-17)
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I keep up a steady rate of fire, the Flood leaping and charging to try and break our line. "VICTORY OR DEATH!"
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As I continue to unload random items into the Flood a massive version of the Judgement begins to build itself up. "Once that finishes someone get that damn jugernaught into the breech and hit the big red button please."
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"Zanon you need to get some new profiles of everyone up." I say as I shoot the flood with my litter blaster. "Whos damn idea was it to let them in here??"
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The copy sighs, and gets up, and yells "ENOUGH!" Every flood stops where they are, and the copy in the Warrior dismounts. Both copies look at each other, and one says "Ok." He steps forward and grabs the Control Device, and all the flood retreat.
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I look at Jester, pulling out a Binary Rifle. "You didn't do that sooner...why?" I shoot Mecha, disintegrating him. "Now that's done."
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Zanon... You have yet to place my drink up on the menu >u<
I hope this is resolved shortly.
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The two clones merge back together, and I shrug. "I needed to test that the Juggernaut worked right." I click a button, and the Containment Zone closes off. I turn to zarkun, and say "Next time, don't give it to the assistant."
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I sigh, placing the Binary rifle on my back. "I gave it to you."
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*I start to dust out my "Lonely/Being Ignored" corner of the bar.*
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"Remember that my assistant has Changeling DNA, and likes to turn into people. Next time, just put it in my armory, she isn't allowed in there anyways." I go back to my seat, and the Control Unit teleports away to my lab.
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A bunch of Mozan appear and start scrapping all the dead flood, random goop and other such mess into the breech of the mass driver Judgement and firing it into deep space. "hmmmm now where shall I put that after we are done here?"
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Yes. I promised additions last thread and never got around to it. I might even shorten some of the drink descriptions.

Expect changes within the week.
Edited by Zanon on 1/1/2013 1:09 PM PST
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Finally all those Psionic Coolers that have hit me on the head have worn off....

Can I get a psionic cooler, without it hitting me, hurting me, exploding in my face, shooting me, or killing me?
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I shove a pain killer down xer's throat then shove a Psionic Cooler up his butt. "It didn't hurt."
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thats gona be sore in the morning
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Well... It fit none of the categories... But wouldn't you want to shove it up his head?
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xer...

I have been meaning to do this for several days now, but I wished to ensure you would not vanish after a day or two.

My name is Zanon. I am a regular at Joeyray's and the unofficial forum sheriff of Joeyray's.
My (unofficial) job is to give a brief orientation to new RPers at Joeyray's Bar. This includes relevant facts about myself and others.

The first and most important thing is: BLIZZARD'S CODE OF CONDUCT.
You can find this on the bottom of any page on the forum. In them you will find all the things that they can ban you for.

If you have any questions, feel free to ask. Thundercrash (He isn't here right now) knows what he is talking about, but really any of the people here can be counted on to answer a serious question.

As a courtesy to others, do not kill their characters. Also try to keep your punctuation in top form. We have a lot of perfectionists here, as this is primarily a story forum.

Have fun.

More information is available on:
http://us.battle.net/sc2/en/forum/topic/4139866899?page=1

----------IMPORTANT NOTE ABOUT ME----------
I am an easy going person but, if you post something that contains x-rated or downright disgusting material I WILL REPORT YOU.
I have reported two people for this, and they were both PERMANENTLY banned.
----------End note----------
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