StarCraft® II

Markus' Deli

"Welcome to Markus' Deli! Thank you for coming here instead of my top competitor... Everyone.

Here at Markus' Deli we serve everything *Begins suspiciously and violently coughing* fresh. Sorry, I've had this terrible cold lately..."

"Please, check out the menu kindly provided by none other then KnarledOne." *Applause echo's throughout the freshly painted building.*



Italian: Has a strong accent.

Char: Not charred, Char. Yes, it's black. What are you, a racist?

Rye: Rye are you wanting bread rike this?


Bleu Cheese: Well... it is blue. No comment as to why.

Cheddar: Can't go without it. Imported from Earth.

100% Koprulu Cheese: Oh, the no cow joke again. Banshees, Queens, blah blah blah.

If it is not listed above, I still probably either have it or can get it.


Fried Creep: Ignore its whimperings of pain. Sorry, the stuff's about impossible to kill.

Baneling: Quite spicy.

Psionic Tendril: If you can eat Zerg, I can eat Protoss.

If it is not listed above, I still probably either have it or can get it.


Psi Cherry/Creep Cherry: The greatest JoeyRay's food ever created. Originated with Vultureling.

Olive-free Olive Flavored Olive: Eh... *shrug*

If it is not listed above, I still probably either have it or can get it.

Specialty Sandwiches:

The JoeyRay's: Tolerance, grammar, spelling, and WHAT THE %*% ARE YOU DOING, YA TROLL?!? DON'T INSULT JR'S!

Suicide: Everything put into a blender mixed with vodka and baking soda... Yum!

Side dishes:


Ketchup soup: No really, it's better then it sounds.

Zergling-noodle soup: Deep fried zergling wings with noodles and... :)

Raman noodle soup: Great classic. Gotta respect the classics.


Ultra tusk salad: Grinded ultralisk tusks with lettuce, tomatoes and [scribbled out writing]

Spine Salad: It cost a fortune to get the hydralisk spines.

Ceaser salad: More ol' fashion goodies!


Larva legs: Yum Yum!

Doritos: Another good ol' classic.
Edited by MarkusDaWise on 1/16/2013 1:37 PM PST
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"We are now open for business!"
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Excellent. I will take a Baneling sub on Italian with Cheddar and Olive-free Olive Flavored Olives.
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"You got it!" I start making the sandwich with a grin.

"We have an import of chips if you're interested."
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"Just got an import of chips, salads and soups! Check 'er out!" I wrap KO's sandwich and hand it over the counter.

"Here you are, sir! That would be 10.99"
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*digs in pocket*

Er... I seem to have only two silver Valaq.
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"What's that?" I ask, making my way to the cash register.
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Please... I can get a foot long sub at our local Subway next to Zanon's Bar for 5$. >:3
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But you wouldn't get Olive Free Olive Flavored Olives. Or Baneling. Or... actually, you could get cheddar cheese probably.

They're worth about 4.50 each.
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"Yeah... Check again. That Subway is..." I move my head around trying to look out the front door window. Clearing my throat I dig in my pocket and pull out a strange detonater. Pushing the button several times.

"Well there seems to be some sort of technical-" Everything in the building shakes and rumbles. A loud explosion is heard followed by the raining of debris easily seen from inside.

"There! So you said something about a foot long?" I ask, stuffing the detonator back in my pocket.
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*I was saddened by such a fate... What harm has Subway caused to people? Now my favorite subs shall never be the same... None of the cheeses nor the meats, nor the toppings were here.*

*A funeral service was being directed for the poor, poor Subway*
I swear! If I find the monster that did this...
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*Clears throat and wipes off sweaty hands on apron*

"Nope, sorry, I have no idea. So, you wanted a foot long?" I ask, browsing my wide selection of meats, cheeses and breads.
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Buffalo Chicken on Flat bread, toasted of course. Provolone Cheese.... Lettuce, Spinach, Jalapenos, Tomatoes, Bell Peppers, more Buffalo Sauce.... It has to be exactly, and if it isn't...
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With wide eyes I pick up the phone and dial frantically.

"I need a special order, four combo's extra bacon on the side, two chilli cheese samplers, a basket of liver, onion rings, a catch-of-the-day and a steak cut in the shape of a trout!"

Someone pop's their head out of the back room.

"Three oinkers wearing pants, a plate of hot air, a basket of Grandma's breakfast, and change the bull to a gill. Got it!" He disappears into the backroom again.

"No, no, no, wait!" I call, running into the back room.


Anyone get the reference?
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I walk in, casually approaching the bar. "I'd like a chicken teriyaki on Monterrey Cheddar. Pepper Jack cheese, and all the veggies but the freaky ones, and spinach. Then salt, pepper, oil, and vinegar."
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"You got it! Victor!" I yell at a Hispanic man who begins working frantically making the most delicious sandwich you've ever seen in your life.
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I appear in the seat next to him, in my usual dark mist. "I'll take some Ramen. Beef please."
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"My personal favorite as well." I say, casually throwing it in the microwave and hoping nobody notices.

"Here you are, zarkun!" I say, giving him his sandwich nicely wrapped.

"Yo Koro, just wanted to say Im having a good time RPing with you man. In Outbreak and ootf."
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I take the sandwich and walk back out, leaving what I owed on the counter along with a box. On the box was a note that read,

Have fun. If you can guess what is in this box before I reach my Pizzeria, you won't be disassembled molecule by molecule. Instead....well, I'll leave that to the imagination.
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