StarCraft® II

Devroy Manufacturing (Redone)

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I'm still terribly ill, but it should be out in the next few days since this is the first day of my official recovery.

Thank you for your patience!

I've been sick for a good week, so writing's been crap. Next segment should be tomorrow night, or the night after that... Or the night after that :P


Then I became much, much worse.
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Damn... that sucks. What did you get? or do you have no idea?
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I want to say it was the worst fever I've ever had combined with the worst cold I've ever had combined with extreme and severe dehydration. Couldn't even stand without passing out. All that and a terrible, terrible cough that still endures.

I tried to write through it, but believe me... It was absolutely terrible. Half of the sentences written made zero sense and the other half didn't relate to anything. It was only after that when I realized I could hardly complete a thought about anything - let alone an actual story.
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Sh!t... talk about being sick... Well, congrats on making it through.
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Hmm... I should read this... Figuring that since I'm writing my own story, I could read this for more... unique ways to express descriptions and details. :P
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Sh!t... talk about being sick... Well, congrats on making it through.


Seriously... Haha, thanks! So glad i'm better... Mostly. Still have this pestering cough.

Hmm... I should read this... Figuring that since I'm writing my own story, I could read this for more... unique ways to express descriptions and details. :P


Please do! Start at the beginning and just go! Please, please, leave any thoughts as they come.

Also, you should post your story so I can read it :3
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Also, you should post your story so I can read it :3
It is posted, just check down as you see mine. It has two posts in it as actual story. They may not be as long as yours but I probably wont be able to stand writing and writing for ages to get a lengthy post...
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04/01/2013 04:27 PMPosted by CrymsonRaven
Also, you should post your story so I can read it :3
It is posted, just check down as you see mine. It has two posts in it as actual story. They may not be as long as yours but I probably wont be able to stand writing and writing for ages to get a lengthy post...


Lol, don't know how I missed that :( I'll read it soon.

I'll bet you have more readers because of shorter segments, though. The only reason why I don't post in shorter segments is:

1) Because I don't write in short segments.
2) Because I take more time writing then editing (Sadly enough)
3) Because I feel like it's actually harder then pumping out longer segments.
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Write in MS word. Work on it like 30 minutes a day. Create a new post every week.

Working well for me so far.
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Next large segment can be expected tonight, the next or possibly the next. I have finally decided on a track the story should go on. I had a couple and it was a very hard decision.

I've wrote and edited about seventy percent of the next segment, need to write the rest, then edit it.
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Planned schedule:

Hang out with family
Work out
Write
Sleep

What ended up happening:

Hang out with family
Watch Skyfall
One o'clock in the morning -_____-

Very frustrating.
Edited by ThaneKrios on 4/3/2013 12:47 AM PDT
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When everyone cleared out of the dining room after enjoying their meals, Ashley approached Markus and sat beside him.

“Hey.” She greeted. Markus pushed his plate away and turned to her. “I thought you might want this.” Ashley showed him a news pad. On the front page was his father in prison clothing. Bold letters displayed the title of the article, which read “Jacob Devroy proved a traitor?” After catching a glimpse of the title Markus snatched the pad and began reading from the top.

Jacob Devroy proved a traitor? Jacob Devroy, owner and CEO of Devroy Manufacturing, the Separatists number one manufacturer of weapons and armor, who sells and controls every weapon in the military, is being put on trial for treason. His hearing commenced yesterday and by the looks of it, isn’t looking good for Jacob.

After his son, Markus Devroy, mysteriously died in a shuttle accident, Jacob Devroy has been in mourning for his son while on trial against the Separatist government. Jacob Devroy is claiming that he knows nothing of his mysterious death and would put shame on anyone who would think otherwise. While he also claims the charges against him are ridiculous, the facts don’t lie.

The evidence against Devroy’s innocence was found a few days ago by a worker at the Devroy Manufacturing factory loading docks. While digging around for the next destination to transport a large shipment of weapons and arms, he discovered it is headed to a system which contains no Separatist colonies. Devroy Manufacturing had been shipping weapons and arms to a non-existent colony. The worker reported his findings to the proper authorities and with a little research, Separatist military identified a well-known pirate group called, “Black Peace.” They were armed to the teeth with the next generation of weapons from Devroy Manufacturing. The Separatist Military acted immediately and dispatched a unit to take care of the small group. However, the Separatists were outgunned and outmanned, the Separatist military retreated and sent Elites in search of more evidence against Jacob Devroy before making hasty claims. Justice is, after all, our highest priority.

The Elite found what they were looking for in his encrypted, personal computer. Further evidence showed that Jacob Devroy was willingly selling more advanced weapons and arms arms to well-known pirates, privateers, bandits, terrorists and murderers then he was to the Separatist Military. Selling arms to outlaws, especially in bulk, is a serious act of treason and is specifically prohibited by law.

When confronted, Mr. Devroy denied all claims and began constructing a dooms day bunker under his headquarters. Soon after, all his personal files were purged and the small bandit-filled colony abandoned. Police captured him and began pressing charges. Unfortunately, the group of pirates disappeared into space before a squad of Elites touched down to take them out.

Further investigation of confiscated files shows that not only was he willingly selling weapons to pirates, but he was selling them prototypes and new-and-improved never before seen equipment that could crush even the finest Separatist armor.

Is Jacob Devroy a traitor? How long has he been dealing with criminals and warlords? Will he be brought to justice, or released with a slap on the wrist? Stay tuned to find out more.

Markus read the article in disbelief. How could his father do this? No. Something was wrong. Markus knew his father, and he wouldn’t do this. His patriotism would forbid it. Jacob was a Separatist, through and through. He had been loyally serving the Separatists for over a decade and this is how they repay him?

Although, he was acting very strange when they met. He knew the police would take him alive, yet was acting like the world was going to end. The facts all pointed to his father’s guilt and it only frustrated Markus even more. A cruel mystery indeed. One that Markus was determined to get to the bottom of. Even if that meant abusing his power as an Elite.
Ashley assessed that he was no longer reading and gently took the pad from Markus’ fingers.

“I’m so sorry.” She said sympathetically. Markus didn’t answer for thirty seconds.
“So am I.” He responded, standing up and walking out of the dining room.

“Wait, Markus.” She called, standing up and slowly approaching him. He turned away.
“My name is John.” Markus corrected. She stopped, trying to disguise the knife Markus had jabbed into her gut by his response to her sympathy. “John Murphy.” He continued walking out of the room and down the hall. Eventually he made it to his dorms. The door opened just in time for Markus to pass through, then closed as soon as he had entered.

Markus exhaled deeply and collapsed on his bed. What had his father gotten himself into? How in the world could Markus help? After all, he was dead. John Murphy was hopeless. According to the official file he was an average engineer. No way he could get closer to Jacob as an average engineer. Even if he could, what would he say? What would he do? The situation was beyond hopeless. His father would have to prove his innocence alone, or pay for his crimes.
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Frustration overwhelmed Markus as he rubbed his face. He had all the might of the Separatists behind him, yet was powerless. Markus sat up and went to the bathroom. He couldn’t look himself in the mirror. “My name is John.” His own voice rang through his ears. He had been rude to Ashley. She didn’t deserve his anger. She was going to sympathize with Markus and he shut her down. Markus stroked the back of his neck and sighed.

“We’ve met before, did you know that?” Ashley’s voice rang in his ears. They seemed to continue to linger. He owed her an apology. Markus brushed his teeth, then washed his face. He drilled himself in the mirror and took a deep breath. Mustering all the courage he could gather, he exited his dorms and proceeded to Ashley’s room.

Markus didn’t realize he was rapping on her door until his arm had already fallen to his side. He sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose in an attempt to clear his mind. What would he say? What would she think? Did he really offend her enough to need an apology, or would she understand? These questions swam through Markus’ mind as he anxiously awaited the door to open. Markus’ legs wanted to run. A shiver was sent down his spine as he imagined the conversation that would ensue after she opened the door. It would be an awkward one. One that Markus would wish he never started. Was he being weak by coming here, or strong?

With teeth gritted in frustration, he looked down the hall, then back at the door. Maybe she hadn’t heard him. He raised his fist to knock again, but couldn’t find the strength to strike the door. It was as if a rope had bound his wrist back and wouldn’t let it move towards the door. He sighed and dipped his head as his hand once again dropped to his side. It was useless. Markus was never one for words, let alone apologies. He always preferred expressing his feelings through violence or exercise. His intensified training provided both.

His feet began walking away from Ashley’s door without his approval and down the hall. He didn’t attempt to stop them. He needed a good walk and if he could get away before Ashley answered the door, she wouldn’t even know he was there, cleaning up any evidence of his weakness. Or was it strength? Either way, destroying something, or someone, made him feel better.

After wandering aimlessly through the halls for about a minute, Markus caught sight of the print on the door to his left. “TRAINING ROOM” it read in bold letters. Markus slowly approached the door and it slid in half, revealing several men engaging in one-on-one combat. Some had official uniforms on, others had standard issue armor, one thing that was in common between everyone there. They all took it very, very seriously.

Two pairs of men exchanged blows in circles drawn in corners of the room. A few loitered in the center of the room while roughly a half dozen were decimating dummies or simply beating a punching bag.

“Yo, Johnny!” Markus turned to see a man approaching him. Markus recognized him as Dwayne: the annoying, yet lovable, talkative, hilarious man that talked Markus’ ear off about Ashley stalking him.

“Mind if we dance?” The dark-skinned man was slightly smaller than Markus, but still strong. Markus rolled his head and cracked his knuckles. Dwayne led the way to a good sized circle in the corner and began stretching. Markus shook out his arms and entered a defensive stance. Markus had never fought Dwayne before, but could see through his eyes that he would be aggressive. Dwayne wanted to prove himself against Markus, not test him. His general posture gave that away. Markus’ basic psychological training wasn’t even required to figure that out, although it definitely confirmed his suspicions.

“What’s up, white boy? Huh? What ya’ got?” Dwayne taunted, bouncing up and down. He was much quicker than Markus had anticipated. Markus swayed back and forth slowly, waiting for him to strike first. Dwayne threw a few quick jabs that Markus easily dodged before swinging a cross punch that Markus had to block with his forearm. Markus threw a cross punch of his own, aiming at his face. Dwayne dodged Markus’ blow, but it cost him his balance. He tried to recover and it cost him his readiness. Markus took advantage of it by kneeing him straight in the gut. Dwayne quickly countered by jabbing at Markus’ face. He ducked under it, but made a perfect target for Dwayne’s knee. Dwayne’s knee raised in an attempt to connect with Markus’ face, but he blocked it with his forearm and broke off.

“Not so tough now, are ya’ white boy?” He continued to taunt with a sinister grin. Markus grunted in anger and threw his left leg in a kick to the ribcage. Dwayne caught it as Markus had anticipated, but then Markus did the unexpected. He drew himself in and came crashing down with his right fist. It connected with a bone-crunching grunt from Dwayne as his head jerked back with the force from Markus’ punch. Dwayne quickly used all his might to throw Markus’ leg he had caught upward. Markus used the opportunity to run up Dwayne with his right leg into a backflip which he landed perfectly.

Dwayne staggered back and rubbed his bloodied face. His eyes flashed with anger as he charged Markus. Dwayne’s shoulder came smashing into Markus’ gut and they both went clambering backwards. Markus quickly assessed Dwayne’s attempt at a takedown and took advantage of his momentum by wrapping his arms around his abdomen and picking him up. Dwayne tried to balance himself in his awkward predicament. It proved to be futile as Markus threw him into his knee that was readily waiting Dwayne’s body. He came smashing into it with a grunt before falling to the ground.
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With half-shut eyes, Dwayne struggled to remember which direction was ‘up’ as Markus grabbed him by the collar with both hands and drug him across the floor to the wall where he slammed him against it several times before throwing him back on the ground. He would have continued to batter Dwayne on the ground if the small group watching them didn’t pull Markus back.

Markus shook them off with a scowl and roamed away. He turned around to see that Dwayne was in la-la land. A few men helped him stand up as he hobbled over to Markus.
“You can throw a punch, I’ll give you that.” He admitted, trying to force a smile. Markus examined his hand as it formed into a fist. For some reason, anger coursed through his veins. Or was it determination? Dwayne gestured to three guys cracking their knuckles.
“Looks like you have a few more challengers.” Mark slowly raised his eyes to examine them. One was bigger and much stronger than Markus. Agility would be his ally against him. The other two guys were about the same size as Markus and looked about the same strength. They slowly approached him.

“I’d beat you to a bloody pulp, but hitting a girl scout just isn’t my style.” The largest man taunted. Markus slowly rolled his neck and looked away, turning his attention to other people entering the room. They were indistinguishable since they all had full face masks on with their standard issue armor.

“Hey, I’m talking to you!” The man pushed Markus’ right shoulder with his left hand roughly. Bad mistake. Reacting quickly, Markus grabbed his wrist with his left hand and quickly had him in an arm bar. Using the man’s momentum, he shoved him into some nearby knee-height crates full of training equipment and he went tumbling to the floor.

The man’s two friends wasted no time in avenging his humiliation. Markus ducked under a punch and performed a standing takedown on the man who threw it. The second man came at Markus with fists swinging. Markus dodged a few and blocked the rest before striking him in the gut and grabbing his collar and whipping him around just in time to put him in a collision course with the first larger man who had recovered from his utter humiliation and was now charging him. Releasing his hostage, Markus stepped out of the way as the larger man accidently tackled his friend.

Markus smirked in satisfaction as his frustration vented through success. His “success” was shorter lived then he would have liked. Before Markus knew what was going on he found himself in a rear naked choke. Luckily, Markus’ superior strength allowed him to breath just enough to watch helplessly as the two men he had put to shame recovered. The larger man approached Markus and wound up a punch that Markus knew he was going to feel for a while. Markus grunted in pain as he could have sworn he heard his ribcage crack with the blow. Simply put, he couldn’t take another of those.

Luckily the large man made yet another mistake. He came in range of Markus’ legs. Markus kicked his sternum as hard as he could, sending the man back. Markus grabbed both thighs of the man restraining him in a rear naked choke and dropped him on his back. He was stubborn, however, and brought Markus down with him. The strength in his grip around Markus’ neck was loosening. The opportunity was too ripe to not take. Markus shifted his body just enough to give him a clear shot at elbowing his stomach, then did just that. He heard the man grunt as he broke free of his captor.

Markus rolled away and slowly stammered up, gripping his ribcage where the large man had hit. His vision was too blurry to even see there was a man in front of him about to make his day much, much worse. The next thing Markus saw was a fist barreling down on Markus face. He shut his eyes and awaited the unavoidable. To Markus’ surprise, it never came. He slowly opened his eyes to see Johnson holding the man’s fist just inches from Markus’ face.
“You’re welcome.” He said with a slight nod. Markus’ head became light as he struggled to stand. He quickly recovered his balance and began stammering towards the corner where two chairs and a water dispenser stood comfortably in the corner. Markus collapsed in one of the chairs and chugged a few cups of water.

“Come on, man, I leave the room for a minute to take a piss and this is how you repay me?” He asked, shifting in his seat and drilling Markus. He returned the stare for a good five seconds before chugging another cup of water.

“For the record, Ya’ll were having a pillowless pillow fight. That was strictly unacceptable. One on one action only.” Markus nodded. “And one other thing.” Johnson glanced behind both shoulders before scooting his chair closer and dropping his voice to a hushed tone.

“Where the hell did you learn to fight like that?” Markus thought about it for a second with glazed over eyes. “Did you go to super, frickin, ninja school?” Markus didn’t respond because quite honestly, he didn’t do anything different. Maybe it was the wrestling experience that gave him the edge, or possibly his frustration? That had to be it. Markus held the button to dispense more water with his cup under the drain after shrugging at Johnson.

“Well, whatever you did, it worked. Let’s hope you can do it again. The squad leader wants to see if Dwayne is just losing his edge or if you really are more than what you look.” Markus perched an eyebrow at the thought,

“Ashley?” Johnson chuckled,
“Don’t worry, from what I’ve seen, you’ll do fine.” Markus’ stare endured.

“What can you tell me about her?” Johnson’s grin was not concealable now. Johnson stood up followed by Markus.

“She isn’t afraid to kick you back to the city from here.”
“Great,” Markus said sarcastically, “anything else?”

“Yeah,” Their eyes met and “She will kick you back to the city if you let her.” Markus walked to the center of the circle and cracked his knuckles. He paced around and rolled his neck while he waited. The rest of the squad and more gathered around. Markus looked around for Ashley. He spotted her emerging from the crowd in a black jumpsuit. Her medium length brown hair was in a ponytail.

“Dwayne is the worst at hand to hand combat in the squad. I’m here to show you how a real elite fights.” Her face was serious. Markus didn’t want to admit it, but her remarks gave her the advantage. His organs felt weak and his stomach turned. He was about to be humiliated. Markus shook the thoughts from his head and resumed a ready stance. Ashley resumed a ready stance and awaited Markus to make a move. Markus needed to test the waters anyways. He had never seen her fight hand to hand before, he needed to learn her style, her habits. Her kinks.
Edited by ThaneKrios on 4/6/2013 11:40 PM PDT
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Markus took a few steps towards her. They were now in striking distance. Markus threw a cross which she easily dodged. He waited a few seconds before throwing a couple jabs. She backed away from both. Her backing up gave Markus a slight advantage. He tried to further the advantage by throwing yet another cross. She ducked under it and struck his ribcage in the same spot the large man had hit him earlier. Pain rippled throughout his body. He grunted quietly and closed the small distance between them.

Since they were so close, Markus felt an uppercut was in order to get her to back away. Instead, she blocked his blow and struck Markus’ face with her fist. Markus tried to recover aggressively by punching her abdomen. She slap blocked it and struck his abdomen. Pain rippled through his body as she then proceeded to strike his face again. Markus was half way into a kick to the ribs when she shoved him back. He fell on his back and grunted.

With a roll, Markus was back on his feet. He blinked away pain that pulsed with his heartbeat. His chest was still throbbing from the larger man’s strike and Ashley’s exploit of it. Had she known about his weak spot? Markus instinctively stopped himself from rubbing his chest. In case she didn’t know of his weak spot he didn’t want to give it away. A very important lesson from his training not that long ago.

This was not going well. He felt like he couldn’t react to her movements. She was quicker, but slightly weaker. He needed to find some way to exploit his strengths and negate hers. Maybe more power strikes?

Markus inched closer as he came in for his second serving of failure. He decided to use his strength to hopefully get a solid strike in. It felt weird striking a women. Especially a respectable women. He secretly hoped she would dodge his fist as it came flying for the side of her head. She ducked, as Markus expected, and he threw his knee in with it. His fist flew right over her head as she ducked, but his knee connected to her ribcage under her armpit beautifully. She grabbed his knee and pushed his body to the side. Without Markus’ leg to catch him, he fell to the ground.

“Not bad, rookie.” She said with a nod, “Not bad at all. Any normal person would fare about as well as Dwayne did.” Markus pushed himself off the ground and grunted. The crowd clapped and dispersed. Markus shook his head in an attempt to vanquish the pain. He gripped his ribcage and sighed when it didn’t work.

“You should go get that checked out.” Ashley said, gesturing to his ribcage.
“Did you know I was wounded before our fight?”
“No,” Ashley admitted, “But your eyes displayed your fear of defeat. I knew that wasn’t characteristic of you, so I inferred something was wrong. It was only a matter of time before I found it and exploited it.”

“Right.” Markus rubbed the back of his neck, eager to change topics. Ashley turned around to walk away but Markus stopped her.
“Wait, Ash.” He began, grabbing her shoulder. She stopped and turned around. “Listen, I’m so sorry for-“ Ashley hushed him with a finger to his lips.
“It’s okay, I understand.”

“You- you do?” Markus was a little surprised. He hadn’t done that much to offend her, but her unhesitant behavior showed she had forgiven him the moment he shut her out.
“Yes, I do.” Markus felt a little embarrassed now. He had made a big deal about this in his head and it was evident in her unhesitant actions that she had forgiven him shortly after he shut her out. “I will always be here, John.” John? Right, that was his name. He had momentarily forgotten about his new identity.

“Right.” Markus bubbled with thankfulness inside his stomach. “Thanks.” He nodded and they exchanged smiles as he began his journey to the medbay. Ashley approached Johnson and they began a hushed dialog. Markus’ paranoia said they were talking about him since they both glanced at him before the door sealed behind him.

Markus was new to the squad, but they had already accepted him into their family. Johnson seemed friendly enough and Markus trusted him. Markus didn’t trust a lot of people, but something about each and every member of the Blackjacks made Markus want to throw himself in front of a bus for them. Dwayne was kind to Markus and they had become relatively fast friends. Hopefully Markus didn’t beat him down too hard. Ashley was treating him like a sister. Or was it more? Was she interested in him, or was that just wishful thinking?

He rolled his eyes at himself and navigated his way to the medbay. When he arrived, the receptionist was waiting.

“Yes, can I help you?”
“Hi, I’m here to see a doctor? I fear I may have broken a rib.”
“Okay, one moment please.” Her fingers danced on the keyboard in front of her. “What is the last three digits of your Elite code alias.”

“808” Markus replied.
“John Murphy?” She asked.
“That’s me.”

“Okay, one moment please.” Markus sat in the lobby for nearly fifteen minutes before a nurse came out.

“John?” she asked. Markus stood up and followed her to a room. She asked a few simple questions and he answered them. Eventually the doctor came. He did a few tests, then an X-ray. He reported that Markus hadn’t broken a rib, but it was very close.

“Be much more careful next time. One more blow and you would probably have to be hospitalized for a while.” Markus left the medbay with some painkillers and went back to his dorm. He took a few meds and collapsed in his bed.
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Holy... Crap.

Sorry, I didn't realize how behind I was in my writing-posting ratio. I guess I wrote WAAY more then I thought I did.
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Nice. Good fight scenes, good pace. Keep it up.
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You already read it all!? 0_0

Thanks man, you bet I'll keep it up! :D
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NOTE: The city is called Norvenia and is located on Orthrus III. They are both pronounced exactly as they sound. This is a mental note mostly for me :P
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I read through a few bits of it. While I'm more into things like magic and midevil time period or way into the future I did enjoy it and keep up the good work. (I so can't spell that word at all. Time period where swords and such were the big thing.)
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