No Hope Rebooted

Posts: 36
This is a recreation and reboot of the story I have recently made called "No Hope." I've been thinking about it over the days and that I should take a different direction this time and again, try to intrigue the audience once more about this story. Feedback is needed in order to tinker the issues with the story and to spot what I am doing wrong that should be updated in the later parts of the story. Enjoy your reading.



In the midst of the highly populated and then thriving metropolitan city, there is a nearby community holding a rumor about a young teenagst - approximately 16 years old - who wields a special psionic ability of telepathically reading the minds of individuals along with telekinesis; moving around objects with enforced power. In danger and in desperation of escape, Samantha tries to avoid the several wranglers sent to capture her. Being anti-Dominion was the purpose why she immediately felt the hatred for the Dominion themselves but she couldn't handle them by herself and needed assistance. Samantha started to seek for Eddy who had a close friendship with her father and was a extremely experienced engineer residing in a junkyard.


Year 2497
Planet Phoenix in the Fringe Worlds.
Community Kharls

Fenix had been operating on a wrecked Vulture bike but continued to install new implementations whilst it was under maintenance. Sometime, his beautiful daughter Samantha would learn about engineering when he attended his own leisure time into the Vulture bike. Relatively, he wanted her to become a engineer like himself and in continuation, establish a corporation or support individuals with mechanical situations since her empathy, courage, and open-personality would be fit for such a position but he knew this would never happen since she addressed her intriguing concern on joining the local military.

Samantha sat on the concrete stairs with her hand across her chin, observing her father progressively work on the recently ditched Vulture bike. Keeping silent, Fenix smirked and hesitated in a teasing tone.

"You've been recently quiet, Samantha."

"That's how I am, father." She replied in a quiet tone.

Fenix laughed and halted his work before staring into the heterochromia-effected eyes of Samantha, changing the topic afterwards. "You do know that this bike is almost complete. Instead of waitin' inside the house over the past few days, you should be able to ride aroun' and maybe meet a couple of "handsome" boys over at the city a couple of miles away from here."

"That's fantastic father but do you think... you know? The Dominion would think of us as criminals even though we are just a small farming community in the middle of a hot desert?"

"No, no. I'll customize this bike with a varnish of paint and a few details that will stick out and catch their two eyes. I might be able to talk to the mayor about legalizing this bike but y' know, he ain't interested in hefty things like that." Fenix replied while continuing to polish his dirty wrench only to begin working on the Vulture bike once more. "You should head to bed now, morning is arriving and you'll need to get to the school tomorrow. People on fringe worlds like these don't get the boots that your wearing, now, get goin'."

Laying down on the comfortable bed with a blanket wrapped around her waist, Samantha had been looking over at the television on the table and sighed in disappointment, cycling over the channels with a remote. Some channels had ranged from the musical shows, cartoons, education (i.e. science, medical, etc), games and so forth. One channel had caught her eye. It was the Universe News Network created by the Terran Confederacy and major in the Koprulu Sector.

"Several youth were recently kidnapped from the colonies just outside the Koprulu Sector today and families were shocked. It was reported that these youth - if not all - had obtained psionic powers through genetic enhancement of their descendants. Most of the families were given letters with a photograph of their child along with personal information. In addition, messages such as "Your child is in good hands" and "He/she is fine" which were signed by a unknown suspicion. Is it something that we can link to or is it a strange phenonom? We'll never know." The news reporter smiled and the channel had been cut to it's advertisement break.

She laid in the bed with thoughts pondering through her mind. Mild insanity started to cripple the innocent mind of herself but keeping it together had solved this like in earlier, paranoid situations. In compliance with her father, heading back to sleep was the only option and tomorrow had to come in patience. As a result, efforts to sleeping were troublesome since the thoughts were sinking with this... reported abduction. Darkness surrounded the room and kept a nice pace of solitude and solace, giving Samantha a good atmosphere of fulfilled peace and alas, somewhere to sleep in perfection.

Update 1 (2013/04/29) - Changed the year to 2494 to make the storyline more sensible.
Edited by Alkaline on 4/29/2013 7:26 AM PDT
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Posts: 36

It was night time and the house remained silent for most of the days to come. Several weeks had passed ever since Samantha had sighted the report from the Universe New Network (UNN.) Something felt too uneasy and she hopped out of her comfortable bed to get a slice of bread with a slap of blueberry jam along with a cup of thirstful milk that she beckoned for. Positioning herself on the couch, there was something odd... and it didn't feel right either. Several footsteps came from the entrance door to the house. There hadn't been a knock in the last few weeks unless her mother came from work in which her time is off in the middle of the night. Throbbing head and shaky hands, Samantha managed to hide in one of the cupboards in the kitchen and just let her father do the work on opening the door.

"Wait! Wait. I'm comin'." Fenix said aloud followed by a yawn.

The door had creaked open and a low-tuned voice came from a anonymous source. "You are Fenix? I'm looking for Samantha."

"I'm sorry but who are you?" Replied Fenix, the door slowly closing behind him.

Muffled sounds came from the door and all went silent. The boots started to creak upon the floorboard and it sounded pretty heavy. A high-pitch noise had been adorned throughout the whole house, painfully torturing Samantha in the head. Trying to keep in the pain, she blurred her yell with her hand as her eyes filled with tears. Through the tiny opening from the cupboard, she could see the black, steel-toed boots followed by a brown duster. Where is her father too?

"I know you're around here Samantha. I can sense the fear. How about you come out and we handle this situation... the easy way." A click came from a gun, possibly a magnum.

A humble voice came a few seconds after followed by gunshots. Groaning in pain while on the floor, Samantha quickly jumped out from the cupboards under the sink and went into the garage at a fast state only to stare at the Vulture bike. Fenix had came from the doorway behind Samantha and coughed, dropping the pistol on the floor. Stumbling to the Vulture bike, he sat in the back and instructed Samantha to move out. Pushing down on the accelerator, the bike floated as the surrounding dust were pushed away.

The pearl color had blanketed the desert. Quickly dashing to the right, several gunshots came from the house and damaged the Vulture mildly.

"I'm sorry father... I co-couldn't..." Samantha said, continuing to look at the cracked road infront of her.

"It's alright Samantha. You did what you had to do." Fenix said while attending to his wound.
Edited by Alkaline on 4/28/2013 4:34 PM PDT
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