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"He ain't here!"
Well, this complicates things don't it?
"Alright redshirt employee, I'm going to borrow this [screams of agony] and this [more screaming] and that [anguished cries]. Oh stop it, it's just a flesh wound, you'll regrow it back."
What was that for? How does this help?
"Blood for the blood god?"
...Why don't we just use this stasis shield and send it on a collision course with Zarkun?
"That sounds great!"
T'was all quiet on July 11, XX13 when in the sky, a shooting star came.
"We are free! The stasis field broke when it collided with Zarkun at the speed of...mach 7!"
Precise calculations my dear clone brother! Onwards! Let no man, men, woman, women, child, children, animal, animals, something, or anything stop our great work!
"#01, GET THE BODY TO THE SITE!"
"Er.... hehehe... uh... W-w-well... I'd just like to say one thing really quick."
I quickly grab my briefcase and mug of Prismatic Void.
"WORD OF RE-!"
I am abruptly interrupted by extreme violence. I look in horror at my employees.
"Hm... perhaps it would have been less painful to just let Zarkun shoot me."
The ravaged creature rasps "You... son of a... I'll get the union on you, you... fat... cyborg!"
Edited by KnarledOne on 7/11/2013 8:40 PM PDT
"Check back a page. Post 35, I believe."
"Poor man, lost his head when the stasis field crashed into him. Recovery time after impact was .1 of a picosecond. Astounding!"
Amnesia and denial. Let it be. There is no hope for the insane. He will hold onto his reality while we hold onto ours which we know to be true.
Edited by smylez on 7/11/2013 8:43 PM PDT
Discord's hologram pops up.
"The bar's re-spawn timer has been reset to one picosecond... As such, I can now kill you all many, many, many, many times with a single explosion."
He crosses his arms as he considers. "To detonate, or not to detonate. That is the question. The question... Eh, who am I kidding. To quote Mr. Torgue: EXPLOSIONS!"
Through a weird !@# paradox domino of joy effect, the cruiser was sent into the bar and exploded. Thus Morph was ACTUALLY blowing up along with all of us. All I could was recalculate how many explosions it would take to send me flying out of the bar so I'll be safe.
I will do a logical refutation followed by an lore refutation. Pick whichever one you prefer; the end result is the same.
Logic: A hologram is unable to actually affect solid objects. This includes drinks. Also, if it was merely a hologram present you would not actually be enjoying a drink at all. Your hologram would be (actually, it would be merely failing to enjoy a drink due to logical point 1).
Lore: Zanon's PRP Bar is shielded against any and all forms of holographic intrusion, including yours. This is due to a combination of numerous factors, including Kay-Oh!™ Inc and Thundercrash Enterprises™ technology and a Cloister spell. Additionally, this is a Thundercrash Enterprises™ bomb, more than forceful enough to engulf your cruiser. Well, there's another investment lost.
How am I able to give this monologue while dying every .1 picosecond? Again, we have Thundercrash Enterprises™ to thank for that. Specifically due to the fact that my center of consciousness is no longer rooted in my body, thanks to a certain entity.
Edited by KnarledOne on 7/12/2013 12:18 PM PDT
Threats of violence. We take these seriously and will alert the proper authorities.
Harassing or discriminatory language. This will not be tolerated.