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The code of conduct remains unchanged my friends, what I say goes, and the roaches in the back haven't been fed recently. (Please excuse me while I fix that)
Now to the important stuff...
A Jim Raynor -- Cheap, harsh, and served up warm in a filthy glass.
A Tychus Findlay -- You’re not actually sure what it is, but you spilled a few drops and the counter is still smoking.
The Zeratul -- It isn’t served to you, instead it appears from the shadows. Then, when you try to drink it, you experience weird visions and the glass disappears.
Zergling “Special” -- “Hello my baby, hello my honey, hello my rag-time gal…”
Firebat -- Burns goin’ down AND comin’ back up.
Psi-Storm -- Hits so hard you’ll remember what happened tomorrow, yesterday.
Grounds for Divorce -- Matt Horner was drinking these when he “won” a fateful card game.
What He’s Having -- Kachinsky always seems to be in here, so whatever he’s having must be pretty good.
Baneling Body Shot -- Are you sure this is a good idea? I’m not sure where to put the lime...
A Glass of Milk -- “Whaddya mean there aren’t any cows in Koprulu? Where’d this come from then?“
The Solar Shot -- For those looking for a good time. Flame-proof clothing recommended, cuz you’ll be shining brighter than the star of Typhon.
Korhalian BackStabber -- Good for the recently betrayed and left for dead.
The Jail Breaker -- new from the recently opened New Folsom Prison Bar.
The Bloody Medic -- kills the pain, but we still say you should have a doctor check that out.
Redstone Mixer -- expensive, but I can guarantee it’ll be served in a clean and sterilized glass. Careful, that lava’s hot.
The Broadcaster -- You’re not ready for the raw $ex appeal this sucker brings. A favorite of a certain ex-convict.
The Hellracer -- suspension of sobriety is an integral part of any drinking experience, but this experience requires suspension of sobriety and inhibitions.
The Maelstrom Shocker -- Only served here, a 40% bigger hit than standard Shockers, guaranteed.
Psionic Cooler -- yes, I know it feels weird. Don’t worry, the energy coming out of your body should wear off in a couple days
(insert generic letters to indicate gibberish) -- I don’t know what’s in it either, but that guy down there had one. He started screaming and thrashing for a while, and now he hasn’t gotten up off the floor in over an hour.
The Judicator -- Perfect for influencing the minds of the intoxicated.
Prismatic Void -- Gets better with every drink. Has been known to be lethal.
Mind Shredder: perfect for those wishing to forget everything and start a new life. For anyone not wishing to do this, this drink isn’t advised.
Scotty Bolgers old no. 8: the good stuff
Andorian Ale: Can’t tell you how I got this, its a trade secret.
Charge: Made using stim and several other ingredients. Side effects vary.
Mjolnir (Thor’s Hammer): If you really want to feel hammered, this is for you. Served with a side of hot lead.
Enlightenment: tell me when you get there.
Marine: may cause you to see the counter vanish
Feedback: served cold. All those annoying voices in your head start telling you what you did wrong today.
M.U.L.E.: Good buzz, but may cause a break down later.
Haven Splitter: you’ll either feel warm, safe, and content, or depressed, paranoid, and possibly like injecting yourself with random serums. 50/50 shot.
Ace Suicide: I don’t actually know what this does. Nor do I recommend it.
Alcoholic Projector: Ever wanted to know what you’re actually like when you get totally trashed? Take a few sips of this, and all the alcohol in your system will condense into a ‘party’ version of yourself, where you are completely wasted, have no inhibitions, and are just out for a ‘little’ fun. The more you’ve drunk beforehand, the better the projection. Have fun!
The HBRB: however crazy you think you are, this will make you worse. Yes, that includes you, namesake.
The Noodle Incident: we all know what happens when you take this. It needs no explanation.
Little bit of everything: Exactly what it says. I’ve taken everything I’ve got, mixed it together, and put in the laser accelerator for a few hours. There’s no telling what will happen.
Slicer: Has the unique property that it changes effect depending on the drinker's personality, amplifying any traits they have a good thousand times over. Buzzes in the back of your skull begin after three drinks, amplify slowly, and you randomly sprout wings after the 11th glass.
The Scoutmaster: May result in the drinkee feeling experiencing high levels of Trustworthiness, Loyalty, Helpfulness, Friendliness, Courtesy, Kindness, Obedience, Cheerfulness, Thriftiness, Bravery, Cleanliness, and Reverence. Not Recommended for parties.
Mar Sara Black: need a pick me up, or something for radiation poisoning? Or jut something to get a good buzz going that doesn’t break down? Then say good night, because we won’t be seeing you until the morning. If you wake up.
The Smylez: This beverage is delicious, trust me. Drinking it will have absolutely no harmful effects on you (please ignore the green smoke), and your liver and kidneys will not be damaged in the least. Seriously.
The Lightyear- This drink will take you the distance
Justice Juice- Definitely not recommended for people with a... questionable history
pylon shards (for those that need that extra crunchy glitter)
hydralisk spine umbrella (not for the more bubbly drinks)
Mentos: you’ve seen that experiment with Coke? Wait till you see what happens with this stuff.
Pylon Powered Jellybeans- A classic now made available to the public. The extra energy may make you a little skiddish.
Laser accelerator: Heh heh, you think you’ve had it all? Time for a little ‘randomosity’. Maximum time of one week.
The menu will updated every so often, so check back to see if there is anything new you might like to try. There are only two rules here. Firstly: If anyone starts a bar fight I will either:
1) throw you into the pen of Roaches I keep in the back. I feed them regularly, but you know how voracious Zerg are
2) personally blow your head off, and use your dead body to make new drinks
and 2: what happens in the bar, stays in the bar.
So come. Drink. Enjoy. Chat with friends. Make new ones. Pick up a date [or a one night stand ;) ]. Drown your sorrows. Complain about your life. For those of the literary bent, use this opportunity to get the creative juices [among other things] flowing.
As long as you pay your tab, and don’t break anything, I really don’t care what you do. And the best part is: no hangovers!
---Reserved for Bar History & Events---
Thundercrash starts it. (Thundercrash PRP bar)
I take it over. (Zanon's PRP Bar, parts 1-4)
Thundercrash takes it back. (Thundercrash Bar Dimension)
I take it back (Zanon's PRP Bar, parts 5-7)
I leave for a few days, and will it to Draconus (The New Bar, Parts 1-2)
Smylez hijacks the new bar. (Chaos)
Zanon's PRP Bar (Parts 8-15)
Thunder's and Zanon's PRP Bar (Parts 1-5)
The Dime and Spectre: KnarledOne's PRP Inn
Zanon's PRP Bar (Part 16-26)
KnarledOne's PRP Bar
Zanon's PRP Bar (Part 27)
Zanon creates the United Bar Directorate [UBD] Clan.
Smylez Creates a list of RPs that could be completed or finished with a bit of work.
Chesty returns as BlackBear
Zanon gets stuck on planet employment.
"Nice to see some change in the bar, and hopefully we'll have a 70% drop in people being shot. 'Course, someone is going to get shot no matter what, but it is a hazard of being in this bar with someone who is trigger happy. Anyways, congrats for getting Bartender, lekrog."
*I stare mysteriously at the Lorian Blue Ale and then back at the menu to see how valid it is and I was extremely disappointed in this rebel behavior of Zarkun. This showed that now we can bring anything in the bar!*
According to Zarkun we can bring anything into the bar or create anything in the bar since he has that abomination. So... KNARLED?! We must create us an alcoholic-ling of greater proportions!
I would say he's more of a tech expert who frequents the Bar on occasion.
However, congratulations are still in order.
I've been considering "great plans in RPing that failed utterly."
First and Foremost For Me: a detailed subplot involving Seven trying to take over PKA with drugs.
The Plan: Seven was going to infect the water supply with a hormone boosting drug, causing chaos. Eventually the Good Guys would figure out a way to stop him.
What Was Supposed To Happen: The adrenaline, testosterone, and other hormones would have caused everyone to behave irrationally, filled with suspicion and aggression. It would have been a test to see how characters would have reacted once the society-trained mental restraints fell apart, and a test of the RPers' creativity.
What Happened Instead: My test-of-theory turned into another mindless round of sex between Terrance and Alicia.
Who Was At Fault: Primarily me, partially Zarkun and Warhawk.
Why It Failed: First off, Zarkun and Warhawk interpreted "high hormone levels" as "Seven trying to cause another crazy sex scene." Granted, he'd done this once before (for money), but sheesh. He doesn't do these things for no reason. Second off, when they had a momentary lapse in creativity I effectively abandoned the thread in silent fury when even a little explanation could have set them on the right track immediately.
Simple Steps That Could Have Fixed It: I'll say I could have noted either of them on DA and everything would have gone ultra-smoothly.
Second On My Failure List: The RP Templar in general.
The Plan: Templar was going to be the second out of 4 RPs (starting with Reaper) that would together tell the tale of all three races uniting to defeat minions of the Dark Voice.
What Was Supposed to Happen: The Protoss heroes would briefly gather at the starting location, then embark on a grand quest that would lead them to many exotic locations, including a Xel'Naga Worldship and Zerus. They would discover that there was a traitor in their midst, a being capable of deceiving even the Khala itself. Though I would have aimed their suspicion at the mysterious Executor, it would turn out that the traitor was Zeratul, who was secretly a servant of the Dark Voice and an ally of Narud.
What Happened Instead: The Protoss were distracted from their mission by a Xel'Naga temple at the starting location and never left that place. The RP died.
Who Was At Fault: Me.
Why It Failed: Sheer laziness on my part. I utterly failed at DMing the thread and tried to force a DM role on Smylez. He did the best he could, but the plot went off track and I was too lazy to force it back into line.
Simple Steps That Could Have Fixed It: I can't think of anything that could have fixed it after what I did to it except maybe a forced boss battle, which would have been lame.
Anyone else have any sad tales like this? I think it would be a good idea to share little bits like this with one another in the hopes of preventing similar mistakes from being made in the future. If anyone has anything that could be filed under my Simple Steps or thinks there was another factor involved in either of these that I missed, please say so. I'm hoping to improve my own RPing skills through this.
EDIT - maybe I should make a separate thread... if anyone is interested in discussing failed plans like this, say so and I'll make some sort of writers' workshop thread.
Edited by KnarledOne on 9/3/2013 2:56 PM PDT
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