Major Payne’s Pet Menagerie: Filthling
You know, I just realized something. You people are way too clean. How you’ve tippy-toed around avoiding stains and muck is beyond me. It’s almost as if you think you’re just too pretty to take any messy risks! Seriously, how on Azeroth do you expect to become a champion like me if you’re not willing to get dirty? And I mean really dirty. So dirty that you become an enormous, coagulated, animate pile of filth!
Near my favorite place to go camping in Ihgaluk Crag is a cesspool of liquid nastiness. Other than the Skumblade who trudge through the sludge, there you will find blobs of smelly, gross goo called Quivering Filth. Quite frankly, they don’t really quiver as much as they like to undulate . And as they slide about, they leave behind an incredibly stinky fog. We’ll just pretend it’s body odor and not emanated from some other . . . uhem . . . location. They don’t have fingers to pull!
March yourselves on out to the Crag and jump in! These foul beings are more than just offensive to our olfactory systems—they also have the ability to grow very large. Once they get to be about as big as a kodo, you might be able to really become filthy enough to own one. Give 'em the dirty details, Crithto!
Crithto: For the record, Filthlings are gross. Their breath smells, they’re very ugly, and quite frankly, I don’t care for their evil grins. Regardless, in Pet Battles, what makes them disgusting also makes them incredibly powerful. Combine noxious abilities like Dreadful Breath with Cleansing Rain, and then follow up with Corrosion, and watch your opponent suffer a painfully quick death. Or share the full breadth of its stench while amplifying its survival with Expunge and Absorb. Yes, you’ll feel kinda icky with this pet by your side, but imagine the suffering your enemies will experience when the Filthling dribbles onto the battlefield!
I fully expect to receive your reports of success within 48 hours, but don’t even think about telling me in person. You can mail the reports to me in Icecrown when you’re done, thank you very much. I’m far too fabulous to have to see and smell what you’re going to be when this is all said and done. TIME TO WALLOW IN THE “MUD,” TAMERS!