Disrespect for healers

11 Tauren Shaman
The issue is that if you stop healing then you agitate them. If you sit and drink mana, then you agitate them. If you port out and let them die then you agitate them. No matter what you do short of keeping their sorry butts alive results in anger directed at you. Just leaving is probably the best way to handle it, at least the most mature. Sadly that won't change these fools habits as the next healer that comes along will face the same issues from them, just make sure you put them on ignore so you don't happen to be that next healer.
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55 Gnome Death Knight
i blame blizz for the post 4.0.1 "healer hate". healing took such a big change, relative to tanks and dps, that people who don't heal don't realize that some classes just can't spam heal with out over the top gear. i don't even heal on my paladin anymore because people don't understand that i can't keep up when 4 people are trying to play tank. most people want to keep playing as they did pre 4.0.1 without regard for the healer.
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63 Blood Elf Paladin

1) It's a game, no one is actually on fire or bleeding

2) there's a very good chance the bad/rude/ignorant player is a 12 year old and I am a grown man. Someone has to be mature, might as well be me.

3) No run is ever perfect and having to handle bad pulls actually, in the long run, makes me a better healer. I'd rather learn to handle the hard stuff in pugs than in a raid with my guildmates.

All in all I try to enjoy the game and not let a few ignorant people ruin MY fun.

I like you. This is generally how I try to handle it, too. I can't fix them and I can usually make up for their stupidity. If I can't, I can't and the game goes on.
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100 Gnome Priest
When I'm playing a class/spec I'm unfamiliar with and queueing for an instance, I make sure to let the group know what's up once I load in. I created a macro for my Prot Pally, and I created one for my Resto Shammy. I mentioned that I was new and asked that the group be kind, and on my Pally I included a bit about making sure I was the one to pull, or I might let them tank it (this refers to actively pulling, rather than just getting aggro through standing in the wrong spot).

Any time I used my macros, the groups were very kind and patient with me. Whenever I didn't, it was a toss up whether the group would behave or not.

I haven't left a random and gotten myself a timer while solo pugging (only once, when I was pugging with a friend and they were vote-kicked), but I'd suggest that rather than taking the debuff, if they're giving you a hard time, ask that they vote-kick you.
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100 Dwarf Priest
Do these groups think that as soon as they get rid of you their next healer will be a super magic good healer who can keep them alive in the face of their own stupidity? If healing 5-mans in the initial stages of Cata is as unrewarding and frustrating as people say, then the number of healers will drop. Maybe low enough that not even dungeons in progress are guaranteed an instant replacement if they lose a healer. At that point people will want to hang onto any halfway decent healer.
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I went pugging on beta today and I ended up in a group where the first thing said was:

"Where is heal."

I had only just loaded in and was picking up the quests quickly. I ran over to where the group was, mentioned that 'heal' had a name, and before I could even get my buffs up the tank pulled a group of 4 or so.

I somehow managed to keep the group alive on the shammie that I had just created and was playing for the first time as resto with the new talents, but I could hardly drink up before the next group was pulled.

No CC, interupts, or anything that could help. No, just good old wrath pulling and when I didn't managed to keep the group up on the third pull I got called a noob and was told that I should be dispelling.

I asked if we could please CC some targets and was met with more rudeness. So I offered to leave so they could find another healer.

Problem is when I leave a group because I don't want to put up with the rudeness I am also the one who gets slapped with a dungeon timer while the rest of the group can happily keep going.

I'd rather take the debuff than stay with people like this, but still it hardly seemed like a good deal, and it definitely doesn't motivate me much to go pugging.

Anybody have suggestions on how to deal with this sort of nonsense?

Good players know what they can and cannot handle. Good healers and tanks know what their group as a whole can and cannot handle. Bad tanks run in and chain pull while the healer is drinking. Bad DPS cry for heals when they get facerolled for pulling aggro on things they cannot handle. Bad players in general die from standing in places they shouldn't. None of these things are new. A few healing changes and harder dungeons do not change any of this.

In this situation your really have two options. Option one, continue drinking and let them pull more and enjoy your front row seats watching them get bent over and shown what prison is like. Option two, try to save them. Personally, I favor option two until the %!*! talking starts. After the tank or DPS act like a tough guy and try to pretend that I am not needed option one is first on the list.

Honestly, in your situation the first chance I got I would have ported out of the instance. I would then proceed to tell them that they are horrible players because they do not understand what they can and cannot handle. I would then instruct them that they have three choices. Either they can do the run without a healer, kick me or wait until I have the mana to handle the pulls. I would not leave the group and be forced to wait to re-queue for the sake of asshats like those you encountered in your run.
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85 Blood Elf Paladin
Having had been in the Marines, I have thicker skin than many people it seems. I don't let things like the above bug me. I just laugh it all off. My job IS to keep people alive, but at the same time, runs..pug or otherwise are a group effort. If people don't want to play as a team, fine. I'll let em die. In fact, I was doing a run yesterday on my druid, lvl 54. Had a tank who would not stop running, kept pulling full rooms and expected me to keep up. After the third time, I just ported out and watched the health bars drop. The usual "QQ" commenced. Things were said such as "fail healer"..."no healz?"...etc. Much to my surprise a vote actually went around (and passed) to kick the tank. WOOT! Sometimes a group actually realizes it's not all the healers fault when a wipe happens.
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85 Tauren Shaman
Do what I do. Assume no one in a pug can play well. Tell them straight up how it is going to be. Explain that your queue is nearly instant and their's (the dps) isn't. If they don't want to wait again they'll slow up. If they don't there has been plenty of suggests on how to punish that group. Bad players will only learn if they're subjected to the results on their actions.
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81 Blood Elf Paladin
Get used to it. Healers are always blamed. I'll tell them to please wait for me and if they don't, I leave. Not worth the headache.
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85 Goblin Shaman
I use the word "Please" a lot.

If that doesnt work... meh. I tried.

/tank Please slow down on pulling

/Hunter Please drop a freezing trap for me to stand on

/Mage please stop pulling/aggro I don't have the mana to spam on you anymore.

I will stick with the group until they kick me or we all give up if they cant respond to Please. I do not believe myself so fortunate that I will get a *better* group anyways. So if THEY want to punish us... I guess they only have themselves to blame.

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85 Human Priest
Kindness only works on people who want to learn. The instant insults start flying its time to be a @#$. This won't work once cata drops, but one of my favorite things to do to a rude tank is to simply pick the dps with the most hp and nominate them the new tank. And never heal the "Real" tank again.

If its the entire group thats being rude, play an offshoot of the how low can you go game. Only keep who you need alive to survive the pull, rotating who dies so everyone but you gets a repair bill. You will be vote kicked, have no timer, and drive the idiots insane. Win win.
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85 Undead Priest
No matter what you do short of keeping their sorry butts alive results in anger directed at you.

Why shouldn't someone get angry at you for not doing your job?

I'm convinced that 90% of healers on this forum are arrogant, self-entitled, high-maintenance asshats. Just like the OP. Spotted it as soon as she said "heal has a name."
Edited by Havefaith on 11/23/2010 6:55 AM PST
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24 Tauren Druid
Don't leave the group, log out and check auctions on your bank alt or peruse your favorite news site for a couple minutes. Return, and voila. You'll have been removed from group. no 30 minute deserter debuff.

If you haven't been in the dungeon for 15 minutes, you may have to wait a few minutes for that timer, but it's not nearly as bad as just leaving the group yourself.

If you do this, please at least be the "bigger man" and be considerate enough to tell your group that you're not coming back. They can either kick you, move on if someone in the group can offheal, or invite a friend who can heal instead of wondering if you'll return.

I'm convinced that 90% of healers on this forum are arrogant, self-entitled, high-maintenance asshats. Just like the OP. Spotted it as soon as she said "heal has a name."

I kind of like when people call the healer "heal" in a 5-man. It makes certain someone knows they are healing :P That little icon isn't always enough. Plus, it's pretty unambiguous. Better than "troll" or "shaman."

But, I turn off names on friendly characters, so if I'm not looking at my party frames or at a tooltip I have no idea who anyone is anyways.

And to the main topic: If someone is disrespectful, and goes as far as insults/offensive language... I simply /ignore them. First I'll probably ask them to chill out, and if they don't I will silence them with the mighty slash command. If I recall correctly, you also won't get paired up again with anyone on your ignore list, so after sucking it up and healing them to the end, you'll never have to see them again.

Oh oh, and I use please a lot too, and apologize when I know it's not my fault (more often than not, I get a "np my bad" as a reply). I would also never, ever take a premade into an instance without extensive research or a guild run first; it's not fair to the LFD group.
Edited by Sevtaurnal on 11/23/2010 7:09 AM PST
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81 Tauren Druid
Most of the time I find that it's the tank, in a pug, that just goes nuts when pulling. They normally just take off and don't stop until asked. I really hate when I get the "LOL just shut up and heal", which I've gotten a few times. When that happens I just wait for them to pull then leave the instance.

Most of the time, though, I simply ask them to chill out some, and if they are in a rush, to boot me and find a new healer. If I'm having issues healing I'm not scared at all to tell the group I'm having a problem, can they please slow down, or just be a little smarter about what they are doing. 80% of the time, being polite has worked; the rest of the time, I just leave the group.

Once the new content comes out and groups are dying because the tank and dps don't realize that they can't just go balls out anymore, things will change. Until then, just remember you're a healer; you are a lot more needed than most other classes.
Edited by Noktu on 11/23/2010 7:13 AM PST
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90 Human Priest
I've been leveling this toon to get to 80 before the expansion and so pugging is just a fact of life. Run into many rude groups and many good ones, and quite a few that are completely forgettable.

I used to get upset about rudeness or bad playing (DK frost specced tank?? HUH?) but lately I just remind myself a few things:

1) It's a game, no one is actually on fire or bleeding

2) there's a very good chance the bad/rude/ignorant player is a 12 year old and I am a grown man. Someone has to be mature, might as well be me.

3) No run is ever perfect and having to handle bad pulls actually, in the long run, makes me a better healer. I'd rather learn to handle the hard stuff in pugs than in a raid with my guildmates.

All in all I try to enjoy the game and not let a few ignorant people ruin MY fun.

I wish I could have all of this as my signature. It's the most well reasoned and sound advice there is, and I know I'll have a better time if I try to remember these things as well.
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85 Blood Elf Paladin

Just do what I do. Port out of the instance right before a pull... watch them all die and then laugh at them from Dalaran/Orgrimmar and just let them know that you are drinking and will be back in a bit.


One of two things will happen. Either they will wise up and it'll go better, or they'll vote to kick you, thus keeping you from getting the debuff.


Before they removed DI, I once used it on a healer because a random DPS was making pulls and making a mess of things. So I DI'd the healer after he pulled two groups, watched the DPS die while not having a repair bill myself.
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85 Night Elf Druid
I'm not looking forward to cata pugs. I think i'll stick to guild runs... or server pugs. I do look forward to the use of CC, and more challenging dungeons overall... but it does mean i'll likely do less dungeons and mainly level off quests as a DPS spec due to the time it takes to get a group together if my guild doesn't have enough people on, or everyones doing something.
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85 Worgen Druid
When groups start acting disrespectfully I just start getting mean. I find that is the only thing that works. I'll call bad players out on their low dps or standing in fire. I'll refuse to rez people and make them run back. One guy in WSG called me an asshat a long while ago and I told the entire group I'd no longer be healing him. He grabbed the flag, ran to our roof, and was killed by a single rogue while I stood there watching. Needless to say, the BG chat got very intresting after that. But the way I look at it is if they're going to be jerks, then so am I.

However, if I were dpsing and a healer ask me to start CC'ing mobs in WOTLK I'd votekick him. WOTLK dungeons with the gear available today requires absolutely no CC. If you can't heal through the mobs right now you should be in normal dungeons rather than heroics.
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