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WoW's community is terrible, from undergeared tanks who pull entire hallways to idiot dps who expect you to heal them through fires. The answer is, always was, and always will be, to get to know a bunch of people you play well with, and only play with them. At some point everyone in the group will get used to the others' playstyles and capabilities, and everything will just become second nature.
I wish there was some way to require a tank to check before pulling, though tthat would nerf the overall game experience I suppose. I hate hot head tanks. I also hate that when I'm tanking people (dps) complain when I "go too slow" and wait for my healer. It's a lose lose
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