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Taken from the Book of Nerf
1. In the beginning, the Gods created Azeroth and accounts. On the first day, They created all beings: mobs, NPCs, and cities. This pleased the Gods.
2. On the second day, the Gods created the classes and loot. None of the classes were the same or had similar powers. This pleased the Gods.
3. The Gods approached the classes at the Crossroads and said: “Lo, verily We tell thee, thou art balanced. If thy become imbalanced,
We shall nerf thee – which means We will weaken thee if you noobs don’t know what nerf means.”
4. The classes fell to their knees in fear of the Gods stating: “We will do what thy say. We make a convent with You: we shall sacrifice
$14.99 – USD – every month in your honor.” Upon hearing this, the Gods were pleased.
5. On the fourth day, The Gods, upon seeing how many accounts were made, created their minions, the GMs – beings that creepth the earth.
They blessed the GM will the powers of a sloth and the wit of a mule. The Gods gave the GMs only one tongue that could say only one mantra:
“Working as intended.” The Gods only granted the GMs to say this mantra, the GMs obeyed.
6. On the fifth day, now, with the World in order, the Gods were pleased and rested for months, growing fat from the sacrifices given from the classes.
1. As the classes grew in number, the classes began to see that some Gods favored some class over others.
2. The Warlock class was unfavored to the Gods. The Warlock class begged to the Gods and lamented its pain:
“Why have you forsaken me? What have I done to thee to leave me? Am I not your child, too? I have sacrificed the USD as much as others,
yet you have turned a blind eye to my suffering.”
3. The Gods heard the plea of the Warlock class and said: “Verily it is true, you are the most faithful of all the classes.
We heard your pleas and grant you protection. You will strike Fear into the hearts of other classes.” The Warlock class did so and struck Fear
into the hearts of classes.
4. As time passed, pleas from the other classes were heard by the Gods. They desired the courage to cease their Fear. The Gods agreed that not all
classes should be afraid. They gave them trinkets and talents to overcome their Fear.
5. The Gods approached their Beloved and said: “Beloved, We listened to the pleas of the World and had to give them strength to overcome their Fear.
Harkth, We decided to nerfth thou’s Fear.” The Warlocks were not happy with this decision. Some cursed the Gods for they felt the Gods hated them.
Others defended the Gods, which pleased Them. The Gods still loved the Beloved above all.
6. Now the Gods felt Their sacrifices by the classes were not enough. They decided they could make new lands – with less care –
and the classes would sacrifice more. Thus, the Gods created Outland.
1. They knew the imbalances of the classes, and hatred other classes waged against Their Beloved. They said to Themselves:
“Some classes are cursing Our name, even after We give them this land. We shall punish them with their own selfish desire for loot and gloating.”
2. The classes called out to the Gods: “The Gods of our fathers, we call out to thee! Give us an ability to survive the damage of the classes you created.”
The Gods thought this good and gave them resilience – but made it so their Beloved is not effected by it.
3. In the beginning, in land of Arena, the Beloved hail victorious. The Gods were happy and the sacrifices of the classes grew two fold.
4. Now, a God rose in power to become a Higher God. He did not have the same love for the classes and mistrusted Beloved.
This God favored the Warrior class and knew it as the Chosen One.
5. This God convinced the other Gods that resilience should effect their Beloved’s DoTs. Yet secretly,
this God knew that the Chosen One could not mitigate the DoT. The Gods agreed and it became so. The Beloved was not pleased and cursed the Gods.
6. This Higher God cameth down from the Heavens to gloat to the Beloved: “My Warrior will be rockin’ the Season 3 Mace…”
This angered the Beloved to no ends because they thought themselves the most loved.
7. The Chosen Ones were buffed, as too was their special counter part, the Druid.
Time passed and the Beloved fell out of favor of the Gods. They fell to the lies of the Higher God and he turned Them from their Beloved.
To show their distain for the Warlocks, they gave other classes armor penetration and made the Rogue class unstoppable.
8. Time passed and The Gods made a new land – Northrend. However, the Higher God grew bored with the Chosen One and picked another to be His favorite.
The Mage class was bestowed love and became the Adored. The Higher God’s hatred was unleashed upon the Warlock class and,
what was a prey for the Warlock, is now the predator.
9. With the Gods poisoned against the Beloved and the Higher God’s blood feud waged upon them, they were nerfed beyond oblivion.
10.Forsaken by the Gods, The Warlock class now curses and laments its pain, only for them to be punished with minor glyphs.
The Higher God loathes the Warlock, exacting punishment for past transgressions against the Adored.
11.Now, verily, let this be a lesson to all. The Higher God is more powerful than all the other Gods and once you lose favor with Him,
you will be punished.
The Warlock class is a unique group of people, those of us that stay true through and through,
Ive read other class forums, and no-one, absolutely no-one is as devoted as we are.
Were a tough class with alot of ups and downs, we have alot of pride within ourselves, and one way or another,
we WILL find a way.
Nerf me, IDC... Im proud to say Im only a Warlock for 4+ years, and Ill always be a Warlock
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