1. In the beginning, the Gods created Azeroth and accounts. On the first day, They created all beings: mobs, NPCs, and cities. This pleased the Gods.
2. On the second day, the Gods created the classes and loot. None of the classes were the same or had similar powers. This pleased the Gods.
3. The Gods approached the classes at the Crossroads and said: “Lo, verily We tell thee, thou art balanced. If thy become imbalanced,
We shall nerf thee – which means We will weaken thee if you noobs don’t know what nerf means.”
4. The classes fell to their knees in fear of the Gods stating: “We will do what thy say. We make a convent with You: we shall sacrifice
$14.99 – USD – every month in your honor.” Upon hearing this, the Gods were pleased.
5. On the fourth day, The Gods, upon seeing how many accounts were made, created their minions, the GMs – beings that creepth the earth.
They blessed the GM will the powers of a sloth and the wit of a mule. The Gods gave the GMs only one tongue that could say only one mantra:
“Working as intended.” The Gods only granted the GMs to say this mantra, the GMs obeyed.
6. On the fifth day, now, with the World in order, the Gods were pleased and rested for months, growing fat from the sacrifices given from the classes.
1. As the classes grew in number, the classes began to see that some Gods favored some class over others.
2. The Warlock class was unfavored to the Gods. The Warlock class begged to the Gods and lamented its pain:
“Why have you forsaken me? What have I done to thee to leave me? Am I not your child, too? I have sacrificed the USD as much as others,
yet you have turned a blind eye to my suffering.”
3. The Gods heard the plea of the Warlock class and said: “Verily it is true, you are the most faithful of all the classes.
We heard your pleas and grant you protection. You will strike Fear into the hearts of other classes.” The Warlock class did so and struck Fear
into the hearts of classes.
4. As time passed, pleas from the other classes were heard by the Gods. They desired the courage to cease their Fear. The Gods agreed that not all
classes should be afraid. They gave them trinkets and talents to overcome their Fear.
5. The Gods approached their Beloved and said: “Beloved, We listened to the pleas of the World and had to give them strength to overcome their Fear.
Harkth, We decided to nerfth thou’s Fear.” The Warlocks were not happy with this decision. Some cursed the Gods for they felt the Gods hated them.
Others defended the Gods, which pleased Them. The Gods still loved the Beloved above all.
6. Now the Gods felt Their sacrifices by the classes were not enough. They decided they could make new lands – with less care –
and the classes would sacrifice more. Thus, the Gods created Outland.