Topic The Newb Game
Has anything like this ever happened to you? If so, at which point do you use a copout option?
You've decided to take a break from raiding and level an alt. You're having fun playing alone. Things are going great, and then....
[Newbie] whispers: do u no were this guy is for quest?
You THINK: Yes, but I don't want to be bothered with you. Go away.
(A) Don't respond and pretend you're AFK.
(B) Reply with a false answer so you can laugh as he fails miserably looking for Hogger in Duskwood.
(C) Answer truthfully with a smile emote.
(D) Log off.
~~~ You have chosen option C: Answer truthfully with a smile emote. ~~~
The Newbie thanks you with some form of broken English, and you resume your peaceful activity of killing boars. BUT WAIT....
[Newbie] whispers: dang i keep dying can u come help plz?
You THINK: "NO, dammit just learn to play."
(A) Set your status to Away.
(B) Tell him that if he dies to said mob 50 times in a row, a secret achievement is unlocked awarding 999,999 gold.
(C) Assist him with his task. (It'll only take a minute, right?)
(D) Ignore him 'till the whispers stop.
~~~ You have chosen C: Assist him with his task. ~~~
After the mob in question was vanquished by your combined efforts (well, ok, your effort. He kind of just sat there and melee'd with his staff), your new ally is convinced that the two of you make a superb team! He has a remarkable idea....
[Newbie] whispers: hey u wanna quest together?
You THINK: "I'd rather make love to an Orc in a brier patch."
(A) Say you're sorry but you really have to go, then log off. (Sad emote face is recommended for extra convincing value.)
(B) Tell him questing is a dumb way to level. Killing critters gives far more EXP.
(C) Accept his company! (Quests are always easier with two people, right? ... Right?)
(D) Break the auto-follow he undoubtedly has on you and run very far away as you add him to your ignore list.
~~~ You have chosen option C: Accept his company! ~~~
The questing isn't too painful. You've only died seven times from him face pulling groups of Murlocs and Gnolls, and he didn't have gold to repair or buy water, so you got stuck with the bill, but you have managed to keep your sanity. Before you know it, you've both reached level 15. It is at that point when he has yet another interesting idea....
[Newbie] whispers: oh cool it says i can do dungeons now! wanna do 1?!!!!"
You wonder why he can never seem to capitalize words, yet somehow nails each exclamation point with perfection.
You THINK: "No. No! NO! NOOOOO!"
(A) Say: "Sorry, cat's on fire. g2g." and log off.
(B) Convince him that he's good enough to solo Deadmines rather than go as a group. Better loot that way too!
(C) Queue up for a random dungeon. (How bad can it really be, right? Dungeons can be three man'd easily now a days anyway. He won't matter.)
(D) Die from a ruptured aneurism.
~~~ You have chosen option C: Queue up for a random dungeon. ~~~
You didn't remember Ragefire Chasm ever being difficult before, and you won't remember it being difficult now because your mind has permanently blocked the memory of your most recent run to preserve what is left of your sanity.
Your new friend, however, recalls it well. He keeps telling you about all the things he won by being clever and finding a neat trick! "if you hit the top dice you always win LOL," he explains. You should be proud of him! Only been playing for two weeks and he's already besting his group mates in wit.
No matter what kind of person you are, you are most certainly not recovering from this day without some rest. You really are logging off. You say it was fun, that it was nice to meet him, and that you'll see him later.
You don't mean any of that. You never intend to log on this character again, suspecting that he added you to his friends list.
You log off.
Several days and some Prozacs later, you log back on. You are greeted with a very disturbing message.
[Guild][Newbie]: hey man! i got invited to ur guild LOL man u got alot of characters. i read thru the notes to find them all and added them to my friends list. we can play together all the time now!
You THINK: "... I ... I can just server transfer all my characters and have name changes! Yeah, that's it! It would only cost me ... $350 .... $*@*)@$#@*)*$*@(&#"
(A) Embrace your newfound hell.
There are no other options.
Yeah, there's a point where you just gotta stop picking Option C, but I can never bring myself to do it. =/ They're usually really super polite too, and that just makes it harder.
Yeah, if I ever meet that guy who actually has the drive to do better, I give him a few tips because hey, I'm not on 24/7 so it'll be good if he gets the hang of the game on his own.
And scarily enough, I was actually somewhat like this when I started WoW, it was in BC on my lowbie hunter, I was seriously intent on tanking all of RFC with my pet.
If I'm feeling nice, I point them at Wowhead.
If I'm not feeling nice I just ignore them.
Also, back in BC, you could tank lowbie instances with a hunter pet, pretty easily. My pet had better threat than lowbie tanks, more armor, and more health.
Edited by Itzak on 1/8/11 11:51 AM (PST)
Yeah, I also walked around in cloth robes, and I used 2h axes and what-not.
Edited by Sinscythen on 1/8/11 2:09 PM (PST)
I didn't even read your post but I've always liked your name. I make a B-line for you in TB whenever we're both there and I see you because your name makes me giggle.
Edit: I have now actually read your post.
I realize that this post is meant to be humorous, but I see a lot of people who can't reply with a simple 'no' for some reason.
Instead of being passive-aggressive or just plain passive, you could just whisper him back saying "I'm sorry, I'm busy right now. GL!" or something to that effect.
Because you are busy. With having fun in the game. And while it's nice if you can help someone out in a video game, no sensible person is going to hate on you for declining to spend an hour or two of your time walking a guy through whatever dungeon.
I help anyone that seems new, provided that I'm not busy doing something else. People helped me a lot when I first started playing, and it doesn't take much time to explain something or show someone where something is or help them kill something. Often I'll give bright-eyed lowbies a little bit of gold and some bags before sending them on their way.
That has caused a lot of "I'LL ADD YOU TO MY BUDDY LIST", sure, but in the nearly six years I've played it has never taken more than a "I'm busy right now, sorry." to keep them from bugging me later on.
There is nothing wrong with being nice to randoms, and equally nothing wrong with politely telling them the truth when you'd rather not be bothered. It doesn't make you a jerk if you refuse to give your playtime (which may be very limited, for all they know) to someone else. Just tell them no and move on, if you're really not interested in helping them. If they get pissy (and I've found that this rarely happens, unless I'm being a @#%* to them first), use your /ignore feature and forget they exist.
I always help and I am rarely bothered by it.
When I first started to play I needed a lot of help and I mean A LOT. I only found out about dungeons when I was lvl 42 and only because some random rogue that I passed in STV asked me if I wanted to come do scarlet monastery. Never knew BG's existed until I was lvl 58. Didn't know about guilds, or forums.
WoW was my first mmo. Actually the only computer game I played before WoW was diablo2 and I didnt even know you could play it online.
That's how newbish I used to be.
So I will help anybody who asks for my help nicely.