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Buffala: Good afternoon everyone on this nice but cold monday. I am Buffala from The Martyred news team. I will be bringing you the events from around the server today, but first a look at the weather. Over to you Paul.
Paul: Thanks Buff. Now as we go over to the map you will see that the northern part of Eastern Kingdoms will have a bit a cold snap today while The areas to the south will be drenched in deathwings fire. Kalimdor will see much of the same with a bit of blood raining down in the crossroads.
Now as we go to the seven day forcast, There is a predicted small but severe QQ storm on the way on tuseday if the patch drops. Now the best way to protect yourself is to board up your house, hide your kids and your wife... maybe your husband too just to be safe. Back to you Mark.
Buffala: Thanks Paul. Our top story, Skittles: Hero or Menace? This 85 Blood Elf rogue is a great warrior and his skills are almost second to none, but is he that noble? A few weeks ago Skittles and a few friends were "hanging out" in Stormwind and cause a bit of trouble. Pandorian reporter Trisha has more on the story, Trisha?
Trisha: Thanks Tom, I am here in Stormwind and the people are not happy. The outcry to bing SKittles to justice is loud but many simply do not care. It is madness Tom. Some have resorted to desperate measures to keep themselfs safe from this rogue. Why I saw a Paladin strap a Warlock to his chest in hopes the rogue would go after it instead. Some draenei have started burning bras. This is what happened when I talked to them about Skittles earlier today.
Trisha: Sir, what do you think about Skittles?
RandomA1: I think they taste great.
RandomA2: Man that stupid rogue killed me so many times, they NEED to be nerfed.
RandomD1: Keep your feet on that ground!
Trisha: I decided to go straight to the king and see what his thoughts were
King Varian Wyrm: What the hell are you doing in my city? GUARDS!!!
Trisha: Back to you Tom.
Buffala: ... right. Okay moving on, Perdition is back! According to Meleecyrus they are getting the band back together. I sat down with her a few days ago to talk about how they will keep Perditon on top.
Buffala: Thank you for meeting me today Meleecyrus.
Meleecyrus: Its a pleasure Tracy.
Buffala: Its umm... nevermind. So You're getting the band back together eh?
Melee: In a way yes.
Buffala: Do you think it will be succesful and be the top Alliance raiding guild on Quel'dorie?
Melee: We hope it will be.
Buffala: I bet it will, now to the real question I want to ask, What in the hell is stuck to your face?
Melee: Umm what do you mean?
Buffala: I mean you look like a bug.
Melee: Oh my engineering goggles.
Buffala: Yeah those, they give people bug eyes.
Melee: Maybe bu-
Buffala: Sorry but we are out of time.
Buffala: One last story before we go. As Clyus said in his public service announcement, we have a rash of Underground bot taking mining nodes. What you can do to help prevent this is to find a gnome, any kind will do, and use them to smack the bots on the head. Having trouble finding some? Dont worry, just take a shamwow and it will soak up the ground surrounding the node.
This News cast was brought to you by Garroshs tiny head on big shoulders
*this will contain some/many spelling and grammar errors since Microsoft word refuses to work.*
This was hilarious top notch , there is a fair amount of truth in the skittles story allthough being on the scene of the crime at the moment in question i did not see skittles partake in any alliance/horde slaughter he was found to merely stalk the great Swagstorm throughout the 4 hours he beat the helpless misshaps . I do remember seeing a sneaky character one they call ramsey killing a hunter countless times in a row ...poor blight maybe we should investigate this tragic story on why this ramsey saw fit to brutalize the helpless hunter ?
Breaking news! A creature know as Leylá has been descovered. Its short, has blue eyes, smells of death and likes to wear skulls of its victums/lovers on her head. If you see this creature do not attempt to touch it. Hide in a corner and call your local grunt/guard. More on this story at 11.
Sunday January 30, 2011.
Buffala: Hello again I am Buffala from the Quel'dorei channel 5 news team. We have many important event to bring to you today. Our top story is the attack on The warchief of the Horde, Garrosh Hellscream. Its was an event so horrible and laggy I couldnt tell what has happening. I can tell you however that many lives were lost in this epic battle. The Alliance with all their magic and might, threw their very best against the Warchief and even gamon. Sadly not even the might of Gamon was enough to defeat the Alliance attack. Reports say that he lost consciousness a few times during the fight. After the dust had settled and the strange magic that bound people from doing anything had gone, The warchief of the Horde layed dead... or so it seamed. Five minutes after he went down he came back from the "dead".
Photos of the aftermath.
http://oi55.tinypic.com/zss39k.jpg my fav =)
More to come. Post your own if you have some.
Buffala: an hour or so later, another tragic event struck the City of Ogrimmar. Kenji has more with this story, Kenji?
Kenji: Thanks Buff. After the attack from the Alliance, skeletons were all over the ground. But then she came.
Everyone was getting back to their normal daily life in Orgimmar, until suddenly they were all killed with Moonfire. It would turn out that an old and very powerful Night elf had come to Orgimmar to unleash a bit of justice. Shandris Feathermoon, General of the Sentinel Army, had come to Orgrimmar after chasing People from the guild Blood Soaked, all the way from Feralas. She is one very powerful elf. If I were to put her power in numbers, she would have about 68 million health, a powerful AoE that and pretty much kill you in one hit, and the dance moves of someone who belongs in a gentlemens club. Shandris tore through the proud orc city, killing anyone in or around the auction house. After racking up a death toll of about 60+, she thought the Horde had enough death in one day, so decided to go back home. Back to you Mandy.
Buffala: Thanks Kenji. Our final stoy tonight, The auction house, the new Dalaran fountian? If think back about Dalaran you will remember two things. One, how people liked to stay in their own little corner, and two: people would always float on top of the Dalaran fountain or in front of the Bank to show off the new mounts they just got. Well with alot of the heros coming home from northrend and sitting in mosly Orgrimmar and Stormwind, it seems the new place to show off its in front of the many Auction houses. So I ask you, When you are just sitting there showing off your mount, your mount might not want to show off you.
Thank you and good night.
*yes many spelling errors again. I hate technology.*
Edited by Buffala on 1/30/2011 9:54 AM PST
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