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Sunday Match 6, 2011
Buffala: I AM THE BLACK WIZARD!!! Welcome everyone to another edition of The News! It is I Buffala memeber of the Quel'dorei Channel 5 News team and I am back to bring you more news. Sorry I could not give a report last sunday, the station had some technical problems that had to put us off. Doesnt matter now, we are back and lets get to that news!
But before we do that, I have and Urgent PSA. I have uncovered a very serious scam. There are these heartless people going around Azeroth and taking inoccent peoples money and treasures. They call themselves adventurers, but really they are just freelance mercenaries. They find people who are down and out and promise to help them with their troubles for a small fee. At first its just a few copper, but as time goes on they become greedy. They start wanting silver then gold, eventually they will just kill you and take your money. It wouldnt be so bad if they actually solved these peoples problems but they don't! No, they go out for a couple of hours and come back saying they did the job. We have a creditable source that tell us that the subject of one of these "jobs" was still there the next day not even hurt.
I know what you are thinking, why havnt our leaders done something about this? Well Sally, the answer is, they are afraid to confrot these "heros". You see, these "heros" are incredibly powerful. Normal guards cannot stop them. Sometimes even other "heros" cannot stop them. They wage wars with each other and anyone caught between them can look forward to a swift death.
"Well D, what can I do about these adventurers and my problems?". This is a tricky question, For you see not all of these mercenaries are cold hearted, lieing motherless ogre. Just becareful about who you trust. Also, hire Gamon.
Let's see... news... Ogres, no one cares about them. Hmm... HERE IT IS! Hold on to your seats ladies and Gentelmen, I have some breaking news that will blow you over. It will seem that The trolls in Zul'gurub and Zul'aman were not completely wiped out. I think we all know who to thank for that. Yes well anyways, they are still around and soon, in about a month or so, The Alliance and Horde will launch a group of 5 very talented and trained individuals into these places to end the troll threat once and for all.
*Producer*"umm we dont know that. They might co-"*
Buffala: Once and for all!
Thank you for reading , this has been your long awaited news report. On behalf of the Channel Five news team, I am the Black Wizard, Good night!
Breaking news! If you walk into the fire on the boat after Beating Heroic Deadmines, you will still die. Trust me.
Edited by Buffala on 3/7/2011 7:02 AM PST
What is the worst day of the week? Is it Sunday? Thrusday? No. It is Tuesday.
Lets start off at the beginning.
Sunday: First day of the new week. Most people are off of work/kids are home having fun. Only downside is you have to go to sleep early to get ready for Monday.
Monday: Everyones going back to work/school. We are all tired from the weekend, so we are all not entirely awake yet. So it all hasnt really set in yet.
Tuesday: You are now awake, back into the daily routine. Looking towards the weekend when you realise you are not even half way through the week yet. Everything just seems so far away and the day just drags on and on.
Wednesday: Known by some as "hump" day. You are half way through the work/school week. You get excited now. only a few more days then you can relax.
Thursday: Just like wednesday but your mind starts to wonder more and out what you will do on the weekend. You start to wonder how you can make time move faster.
Friday: The day everyone looks forward to. The end of the work/school week. Now your mind can bearley focus on work. You day dream about your weekend plans. The minute that bell rings and the clock reaches your leaving time, No one will be able to stop you from reaching the door.
Saturday: The best day of the week. THe day where everyones plans come together. you can sleep in, go hang out with friends into the dead of night and early morning. Whatever you want. You dont have to do anything important tomorrow.
Friday, September 16,2011
Buffala: Hello again to all my friends, Its been a while Since my last report hasn't it? A lot has happened in the five months I have been away.
Where was I none of you are asking, well I decided to sail around Azeroth on my ship The Demon Emerald. It was a great time, doing whatever we wanted unchallenged… well until he showed up. For you see one day one of my crew spotted a ship in the distance, I thought nothing of it, people love to sail all the time. Eventually the ship got closer; it did not fly any colors so we did not know of its intentions. At a certain distance it raised its flag and that is when I knew we were in trouble. The flag that was raised was a Rainbow, and only one person would dare sail the seas with a rainbow colored flag. It was none other than my arch nemesis Skittles. Before any of us had time to prepare, Captain Skittles of the Stabby stab, had opened fire upon our vessel. Our boat was showered in cold hard balls of steel and fire. We took quite a pounding from those balls.
A few stray cannon balls hit the mast and broke it in half. At that point The Demons Emerald was dead in the water, giving skittles and his crew the perfect opportunity to board our ship. Once aboard we engaged in hand to hand combat. I put up a valiant fight but in the end I got caught on the side of my head with a cheap shot by a worgen warrior wielding a steal chair. I was knocked unconscious for a few hours. When I awoke I found that I was stranded on an island in the middle of the the Forbidden Sea. After searching the island I came to realize that I was the only surviving member of my crew, there was no one else but me and a leather ball. Over the following months on that god forsaken island me and the ball, became close friends. It would seem that he is a sentient ball named Freddrik. Now me and Freddrik came up with a plan to get off the island. I was to complete a ritual of teleportation and bind it to a smooth stone that Fred**!% was supposed to bring back to me. Unfortunately Freddrik had a hard time carrying the stone so I went and did it myself. Upon completion of the ritual, me and Freddrik teleported to Orgrimmar. Once there we learned of what had happened during our entrapment on the island.
It would appear that The Bastion of Twilight was stormed by heroes and Cho’gall was killed. One of the most surprising things about his defeat is that his corpse still has two heads. Normally, when someone of such importance as Cho’gall dies people want proof, and this proof comes in the form of a severed head. I believe that this is a step forward to a life when we will no longer decapitate people and we can expect that when we kill someone they stay dead.
Following up on that topic, Nefarian was once again slain alongside his sister Onyxia In Blackwing Descent. We go now to Freddrik who has more information about how Nefarian was able to come back to life after being beheaded and having his head hung up in Stormwind, Freddik can you hear us?
Buffala: Good, good now tell us about Nefarian.
Buffala: Very interesting, but that doesn’t help explain the whole being charged with electricity.
Freddrik:<even more silence>
Buffala: Oh well when you put it like that, it makes perfect sense. I bet even a hunter could do it.
Freddrik: <Looks like he will talk... almost... no just more silence>
Buffala: Inspiring words Freddrik, I’m glad everyone heard them. Nothing much else has happened, we’ve waged war in the molten front by growing a tree, yeah that’s it. I don’t get druids, honestly, too tree hugging for my taste. I guess I should mention Al’kair was killed as well but Honestly, who cares? You could of defeated him using a vacuum cleaner. Well thank you for being here folks, See you again next time Something interesting happens.
In the words of my guild master “ЋψДδЩџ⅗Œ4”
"where are you going? I was going to make espresso"
October Something 2011.
I'll post a full story eventually But to hold Chry over, I'll leave you with this little gem
A few months ago I healed my first raid. I didn't want to heal, but I was drinking Tequila, after 5 shots I apparently demanded to heal. After 10 shots I thought I was Marry Poppins. Tequila alters my reality, it makes me think things that arn't there, like that stripper really likes you its not the money you're giving her, there's a real connection there. Now my healer wasn't the best geared at the time, mostly in heroic gear so they bought/made me some. You would think since its my first time raid healing and I'm a bit drunk they would do an easy raid first, like Baradin Hold so I could get use to damage and what not,No... Dennis is funnier when hes panicking out of his mind. They took me to Lord Sonofa!@#$% (Nefarian). I didn't heal anything, i just spammed what I could, go oom take a drink and watch as they died one by one.
I thought Battleground healing would be easier, you know just stand in the back and heal.. Oh how wrong I was. I can heal pretty well when only my team mates are taking damage, But the second that they all ganged up on me, nope. all I could do was run for my life and cast what I could. My friends thought I was being funny, " Dennis when you were running from those Dks and paladins I was laughing so hard I was dying" ... I was dying too! you should of helped me!.
"Dennis want to do Arena?" No! I never healed arena. "Oh afraid you're going to lose?" No, I know im going to lose. "pfft We are in all ruthless and viscous gear you cant lose" Oh good so I can lower your ratings as well.
Thank you all, see you in a few days with a story or so.
Edited by Buffala on 10/19/2011 2:26 PM PDT
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