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A troll druid! You mean you are real? I thought you guys were an internet hoax when I saw those pictures of cats and bears dressed as clowns.
Now we definitely need to keep pressure on Blizzard to allow Tauren druids, and now Troll druids, to join The Zoo. They keep rejecting our request. Something about so much awesome in one place would destroy the game's balance.
Until we fix this injustice we will continue to offer honorary Zoo membership to all Tauren and Troll druids. Remember our secret handshake ----> /moo
Solidarity! Druid brothers and sisters unite!
@Delicado the Dwarf
I like dwarves. Male dwarves can grow truly magnificent beards! Only Malfurion Stormrage himself can compare. And I readily admit I am very envious of those very strong thighs on all dwarf women. I also like beer.
As much as I like you all, you still aren't druids though. My opinion is dwarves need to be more willing to get out from under the ground and check out a tree. That would be your first step on your path to true druid awesomeness. I am really rooting for you. We need more druids!
To recap, there are only three (3) requirements for joining The Zoo as a full member.
1. Cho'gall (y/n), 2. Alliance (y/n), 3. Druid (y/n)
As far as I can tell no dwarf has yet to satisfy requirement number 3. Therefore all we can do right now is open up a new honorary Zoo membership category for any Dwarf who really wished he or she could be a druid. You can start by learning our secret handshake (/moo). Then you can come to our parties (don't forget the beer!) and we will teach you some /dance moves.
1 Troll Rogue
How do you answer charges of classism directed at The Zoo for only allowing druid members?
Do you care to comment on the disappearances of many young druids in Teldrassil, and reports of how many of these young druids were recruited and joined The Zoo prior to going missing?
What is contained in these so-called "Welcome Kits" you give to young druids?
@Zooluna the Troll
About this Classism thing:
Yes we have heard this charge before. It is really silly though. Druids are obviously the most awesome thing in this game. So if you are going to make the most awesome guild ever why would you dilute it with less awesome classes? No offense Allies. We still love you. But you aren't druids. We have ridiculously high standards for recruiting (see 3 requirements above) because we want to be the best!
About missing druids:
We are very glad you asked these hard questions and appreciate the opportunity to dispel these vicious rumors.
Yes we have missing druids. The Zoo has over 500 druids in our ranks, and a very large number of these druids have gone missing. Many of the missing are very young druids and we fear for their safety. However, we adamantly dismiss allegations and rumors that somehow The Zoo has made these druids go missing.
Here are the facts:
The Zoo has never owned or operated an ice cream truck for the purpose of attracting young druids for nefarious purposes. On occasion The Zoo has served Tigule and Foror's Strawberry Ice Cream at parties though.
The Zoo does not hand out candy to new druids and The Zoo does not have a van. The Zoo does have a few mounts that can be used to give young druids transportation into the wilds of Azeroth. To the best of our knowledge we have never misplaced a young druid during these travels.
It is our firm belief that most of the missing druids have simply taken a short break from the challenging experience of being Alliance on Cho'gall. We expect our druids to grow up tough and strong. Many try. Not many survive right away. In particular we believe a large number of very young druids have simply never found their way out of a particular furbolg cave in Teldrassil. If this is true we have renewed hope. ATTENTION YOUNG DRUIDS! It is safe to log in now! Ban'ethil Barrow Den has been nerfed!
About Welcome Kits:
All new members of The Zoo do receive a Welcome Kit to help them get started on Cho'gall. At minimum each Welcome Kit includes bags (10-slotters), some spending money (10g), and the best Guild Tabard ever (check it out). Welcome Kits are not offered to bribe or entice young druids to join The Zoo. Welcome Kits are only offered after a young druid has already agreed to join our ranks. We like to spoil our young druids just a bit up front. They will face enough hardship later on here on Cho'gall.
It's ok to say it now Morroes....
YES! WE HAVE COOKIES!
All new druid Welcome Kits will now include two (2) Chocolate Cookies while supplies last!
PS: Cookies, the druid... We miss you!
I may have evidence as to where all these young druid's have gone.
If you are interested in joining the zoo, I advise you not to eat Lunasea's cookies. While tasty and amazing and wonderful and awesome and beautiful and gorgeous and delicious, they can be dangerous.
Oh screw it, we ARE wild animals, we like to live life on the edge!
PST for invites/information! If you join, I'll be happy to send you a druid pack and a couple of these cookies.
You mean like our Feral? Our Fx Feral?
Oh My God!
Look what they have done to you!
You're Green! You're Horde!
You're a cute little Goblin!
Ok. Do not panic. Take a deep breath. I know what you must do. Ready?
Go to character creation screen...
1. Cho'gall, 2. Alliance, 3. Druid. It can be a night elf or a worgen. Make Druid!
Don't worry. We will find you and send out the van...
errrr.. a new invitation to The Zoo...
and a Welcome Kit...
... With cookies.
Then we can properly stay in touch. Ok? :)
Join us tomorrow as our heroes deal with this sinister new plot twist in...
Chapter 2 - The Case of The Missing Druids "Pezzle Was a Bear named Feral"
Caermie / feralxia? =x
/dances with Lunasea
Lunasea and I are not the same person for any of you who may get us confused, actually. I've just always wanted this name--and for the last three years it was always taken by somebody that never showed up on the armory, so I asked a GM if the name could be made available.
I'd recommend the Zoo for any young druid that wants to have a fun environment; I've personally never had a character in the Zoo, but I've heard nothing but good things from those that have.
Hi Luna! /dance
And don't worry about the confusion.
It fits the premise of our "We Need More Druids!" master plan.
Orc1: Target the druid!
Orc2: Huh? Which one?
Same thing if we are all named Luna-something. Orc heads will explode!
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