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(the following is based on a true story)
The alarm goes off. You wake up, groan, and curse the hellspawn that is 7am on Monday morning. You shower, shave, brush your teeth, and go for some breakfast. About halfway through your meal your girl comes down the stairs wearing that low-cut pink nighty you love oh so very much.
Pink, love, Monday...with a loud thump you face-plant into your cereal bowl and attempt to drown yourself in Cocoa Puff filled milk before grinning at your wife and making some joke about hating Mondays. But you're not joking on the inside. Inside, you're writing out your will and leaving your TV to your buddy Jerry.
First of all, let's cover some basics. Maybe you're overreacting. Did your spouse forget as well?
Doubt it. She's been asking what I got her.
And you said...?
"It's a surprise, babe."
Ah. Okay. Did you actually plan on getting anything?
That's a negative. You are a horrible person. S'alright, that's why I'm here. Relax, bro, we're gonna make it. Are you working today?
Duh, it's Monday.
Point. Okay, go to work and call me on lunch break.
Alright, here's what you're going to do. You're going out for lunch.
To wash away my problems with scotch?
That's Plan B, but we'll keep our options open. How much cash you got on you?
A check book.
You know, getting dumped on Valentine's Day isn't too bad. Some get divorced and lose their kids. And you, you're getting off lucky, you don't have any money she can take -
Go to the store. Any store. Anywhere that looks like they could remotely sell anything.
Genius! Look for Valentine's Day decorations. Should be cards and candy over there.
...they're sold out.
There's nothing here!
I know you're not telling me Hallmark ran out of greeting cards. That's like Penthouse running out of fan letters.
I like Penthouse :)
If you don't focus, that's all you'll have. C'mon, man, there has to be something.
It's a box of Pokemon cards!
Valentine's Day cards?
God bless overseas marketing. No girl can resist the power of Pikachu. Go buy them and leave, and thank you for using Malles' Every-Scenario Survival -
I don't have the money.
She'll find me.
Sir. Listen to me. Do you love your woman?
Would you do anything for her?
Listen closely, then. You're going to steal those cards.
I'm going to steal Pikachu Valentines?
Edited by Malles on 2/14/2011 6:18 AM PST
My friends bf forgot valentines day and Im pretty sure she would of been a little happier if he made that kind of effort instead of the no effort thing he did >.>
I approve of this, some effort > no effort, even if it's totally insane and random.
I think guys would be surprised at how far a little honesty can go. Just admitting that you forgot and offering to do something really special on the weekend (since Valentine's was on a Monday anyway) not only buys you points for telling the truth, it gives you 4 more days to get ready!
My best friend called me up yesterday flipping out because he forgot and we more or less had this conversation via cellphone. His wife laughed herself sick and chewed me out for making him shoplift.
Good times. They had a kid couple days after Christmas and named me godfather :).
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