Things you don't want to hear healing pugs

As many of you remember back in Lich king there was a thread about the players healers had to deal with when the Dungeon finder came out. By the time Cataclysm came out it was up to thread 6 or 7. I want to resurrect this thread as with the inclusion of Cat there are all new idiocies that various players had to go through. To inaugurate this thread I will provide three incidents.

The first was when I was healing Hellfire Citadel on my Worgen Druid. The pug had a baby dk. My first thought was "oh boy" cause new dk tank meant heavy healing.

First group the guy couldn't hold aggro to save his life. We barely survived after words one of the dps note he did not have Blood presence on. So ok maybe he just forgot big deal but it really got annoying when he says he had no clue what blood presence was. After several minutes of this I asked what his main was. He said it was a hunter. After several more minutes of trying to tell him what BP was he leaves. To this day I can't figure out whether he was serious or just a troll trying to waste our time and *%!! with us.

The second incident I was in a pug group doing heroic icc for the mount. now this after Cataclysm went retail. There was this 85 pally who was doing horrible dps barely half of what everyone else was doing. after we down putricide somebody looks at her gear and says she has a bunch of int gear on her. I take a look and she has a mix of int and str with an agility blue cloak. Her talents where all over the place in the ret tree and when I checked her armory profile she only had three prime glyphs and a major glyph. We then spent the next half hour going through her trees and gear telling her what to use and which glyphs to use. her guildie who was in the group promised to help her with her gear.

The third incident was in heroic SFK with a Lock who had a str neck, ring and sword. Never explained every time I asked him.
Edited by Heamden on 3/15/2011 12:35 PM PDT
85 Blood Elf Priest
3245
I was in heroic Grim Batol yesterday and had to explain to a DK tank why mastery was better than the stam gems he had equipped. And then I had to help him find Death Strike in his spellbook.

Warrior tank in 333/346 gear telling me that he isn't going to waste money on reforging and gems until he has epics.
85 Night Elf Druid
6230
"OMG attack my target nub" and any variation thereof.
90 Night Elf Priest
6155
"Disc can't heal PvE" - Heard this yesterday by a tank that ate every shatter and then told me that "melee can't avoid shatter". I wanted that trink soo bad I stood, but I still hate him. And healed his sorry @ss through it.
85 Worgen Druid
8065
Heroic GB: I've never been here before! - says the tank.
40 Blood Elf Priest
0
I just had an interesting one last night. I'm healing on my druid, have one warrior dps guildie with me, and the rest a pug in H Throne of Tides. We make it through the hallway just fine, with mobs that the tank wan't tanking too well and I kept getting healing aggro. But nothing major and we plow along to area just before the first boss...where u need to cc the adds.

The adds do get cc'd...but they break and I get healing aggro. No one does anything, and I have a hard time kiting a ranged to the tank =/ So I die, release right away and run back in. But by the time I get there everyone else is dead. The tank then drops group and we wait for another one.

A new tank comes in. At this point our little group is right before the first boss and waiting at the entrance. The first thing the tank said is "I'm just gonna try tanking this." And runs right at the boss and pulls. I only glance at the tank while running after him. DK with about 131 health. Well, not everone in the goup was ready, and my guildie gets locked out. The tank also did not inerupt anything, and then he gets one shotted by a geyser. The guy gets kicked after this.

I look him up while I lay there dead (since it was a complete wipe), and he's a dual weilding blood dk, missing gems except for one +30 agility gem, no enchants, and is wearing a combination of tank plate, dps gear, pvp gear, and hunter gear. Its been a while since I was in a disaster like that =S

We queue again and get another dk tank...but this guy knows what he's doing. We finish without issue.
100 Dwarf Shaman
19525
"Hi guys I'm a DPS death knight"
85 Night Elf Druid
2875
Lost city of Torvier

Next to last boss. just downed him.

Tank whispers me "Why the (naughty word) you ain't DPS'n"
I reply "cause i'm the healer?"

nothing else is said and we goto last boss. Downed him
then tank whispers "L2P Newb" and then leaves party.


mind you we did Not wipe once.



WTF???

85 Orc Shaman
2170
I had a tank today who said he hasn't tanked since last expansion. Surprisingly he read up on the fights and did really well. Man Ill take those type of people any day over the rude and obnoxious twits.
90 Blood Elf Paladin
0
DPS: "Do we really need to CC."
My spidy sense starts to tingle.



Nothing need to be said with warrior tank, fury warrior, frost dk, and a feral druid when I zone in.


We always make it through. I wish I had a raid warning that displayed my mana bar to others far to often.
85 Tauren Priest
11575
03/15/2011 3:11 PMPosted by Aphorism
"OMG attack my target nub" and any variation thereof.


... So suddenly it's wrong for tanks to expect DPS to actually hit the thing with the big skull over it's head instead of every bloody thing else? Granted, I usually am a little more polite (or snarky, depending on how you look at it) than that - never do I call anyone a noob - but I definitely expect DPS to actually hit my target when I'm tanking on my paladin. And I'm not afraid of calling them out in /p for not doing so, either.
85 Worgen Druid
2840
It's not usually what they say that scares me. I have a bad habit of looking over people's gear to tell how bad a run's going to be. I can usually just eyeball the tank and cry inside when I have more health than him :/
85 Night Elf Druid
3250
"I've never been here before"

"LOL WUTS _____"

"I didn't train that"

"CC is for nubs" followed by "stop going OOM"

"HEALZ"

"REZ PLZ"

Or anyone wearing gear not appropriate for their level or class/role. I can't stand it when DPS get into a tank role and still have all their DPS gear on and charge in there. omfg. :\

edit: add a disc priest acting on a silly "theory" that disc is a dps spec. I'll just not heal you since DISC IS A HEALING SPEC and you can heal yourself.
Edited by Cereniti on 3/16/2011 2:08 AM PDT
I've found that most people who say they've never been here before are awesome players. I had a tank say that in the beginning of H TotT and he was one of the best tanks ever. He'd never even done it on regular. Saying they've never been somewhere before is at least a show of honesty and a willingness to accept advice. Sometimes it doesn't go that way, but normally it does. The question is: are you willing to give the advice they're asking for?

I've had people lie about having done places though. If I'm asking, it's because I'm already doubting it, no need to lie about it. Come to think of it... in the past three days, I've been lied to directly twice. That's two more times than average. Huh.
You got lucky with your DK tank.

I did a Ramparts on my Dwarf Mage (obviously wasn't healing), and right from the first pull we almost wiped, saved only by the healer. I said "Hey DK tank, you're in Frost Presence. You're going to have to be in Blood Presence to tank. Blood spec would be better than Frost spec, but it's doable as long as you're in you're tanking presence". I figured that the change was pretty recent, and maybe he just didn't realize that Blood and Frost had switched places.

He ignores me and pulls again. Again, we barely survive. Once again I say "You need to be in Blood Presence". He responds "No noob i do more dps in frost presence" and without another word, pulled the next group. The tank gets 2-shot and we wipe. The tank starts cursing out the healer, and that's when I exploded at him, explaining how he's an utter moron and doesn't know his class and won't listen to someone who actually has a DK at 85, and the healer was the only reason we managed to survive longer than 2 seconds, etc. It was the only time I ever really blew up at someone cause he really pissed me off.
You got lucky with your DK tank.

I did a Ramparts on my Dwarf Mage (obviously wasn't healing), and right from the first pull we almost wiped, saved only by the healer. I said "Hey DK tank, you're in Frost Presence. You're going to have to be in Blood Presence to tank. Blood spec would be better than Frost spec, but it's doable as long as you're in you're tanking presence". I figured that the change was pretty recent, and maybe he just didn't realize that Blood and Frost had switched places.

He ignores me and pulls again. Again, we barely survive. Once again I say "You need to be in Blood Presence". He responds "No noob i do more dps in frost presence" and without another word, pulled the next group. The tank gets 2-shot and we wipe. The tank starts cursing out the healer, and that's when I exploded at him, explaining how he's an utter moron and doesn't know his class and won't listen to someone who actually has a DK at 85, and the healer was the only reason we managed to survive longer than 2 seconds, etc. It was the only time I ever really blew up at someone cause he really pissed me off.

Healers disguised as dps. Man, I love that.
90 Blood Elf Paladin
7660
Hands down, worst for me is new 85's in crafted resilience gear, to raise their item level to get into heroics.. No mastery, avoidance, stam, or experience as a tank, or experience with the instances to speak of, and they're going to expect YOU to keep them alive long enough to gear them. Bonus points if you have to deal with them rolling for every piece of DPS plate that drops.
85 Gnome Priest
11815
The worst thing the tank said was: 'oops i didn't mean to q for heroic lol'

That tank was me :( Two healers silently left after inspecting me. The paladin healer who ended up healing me was confused why he kept ooming on every fight.
85 Blood Elf Paladin
5660
03/16/2011 5:48 AMPosted by Janaire
I've found that most people who say they've never been here before are awesome players. I had a tank say that in the beginning of H TotT and he was one of the best tanks ever. He'd never even done it on regular. Saying they've never been somewhere before is at least a show of honesty and a willingness to accept advice. Sometimes it doesn't go that way, but normally it does. The question is: are you willing to give the advice they're asking for?


^ I completly agree with you on that one.

Had the same thing happen in ToT for my daily yesterday. Brand new tank with 140K HP after buffs and with the Pug Buff. He didn't say anything at first, but just did his thing, came to the first boss, he was doing fine, till Gyser came under him, he ate it and got blown up.

Came back and asked ''How do I not get thrown into the air?" So I explained the mechanics to him, then he let us know this was his first time tanking a heroic. 2nd round with the boss after some explaining he does a great job, boss dies, we move on and pretty much finish the rest of the instance without any issue. He appologizes to me for having to ''heal him alot'', but in my gear its pretty forgiving and I never dipped below 80% ever.

It's people like those I enjoy healing, but then you get those tanks who don't have a clue that make me want to bang my head on my keyboard.
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