I. THE BASICS:
First, bask in your malevolent glory! You think shadow damage comes from the land of sunshine and rainbows? Au contraire mon frère and/or girl-frère! You are a bona fide villain and it is your duty to behave like one. I'm not talking about a run-of-the-mill twirly moustache villain here. Think "Wall Street Stockbroker" or "Partner at High-Priced Law Firm." You're not just bad. You are EVIL. Act accordingly!
The first important skill you will need while you are on your way to total world domination is the ability to rule with an iron fist the (future) millions of soulless henchmen who will do your unholy bidding. Happily, you get plenty of practice managing your warlock minions, all of which display varying levels of resistence and/or back-talking to your commands. Use and abuse them until you get comfortable asking your followers to do impossible and/or completely inadvisable things. This will qualify you to serve as raid leader when you hit 85.
Let's begin by looking at the essentials of warlocking, or as it's known in common parlance, "being AWESOME."
A. The Warlock Credo
For new warlocks just joining our dark brother- and sisterhood, and as a reminder for the lock veterans who have t-shirts emblazoned with the words "I Remember When Soul Shards Took Up Bag Space," REMEMBER THE WARLOCK CREDO:
Being EVIL Ain't Easy... IT'S FUN!
Sounds simple, yes? But this simple phrase underscores the entire warlock philosophy. Learn it well, for it serves as the fundamental principle that will guide you along your interactions with raid bosses, PvP opponents, and the most challenging enemies you will ever face: Other Players Of Inferior Non-Warlock Classes Who Expect You To Do Things For Them. This Guide will advise you on how to deal with all of them.
B. Important Macros: Here are the only macros you will ever need:
/r NO, you CANNOT have a summon.
/r [modifier:alt] NO, you CANNOT have a healthstone.
/r [modifier:ctrl] NO, you CANNOT have a soulstone.
/r [modifier:shift] NO, you CANNOT have Dark Intent.
/cast QQ Extraction
/cast Create Delicious QQ Beverage
/drink [Delicious QQ Beverage]
NOTE: "QQ Extraction" is sometimes spelled "Fear" in your spellbook.
Macro #4 (RP or RP-PVP Servers Only):
/e retrieves a delicate crystal flask from a pocket and takes a drink, eyes closing in delight at the sweet taste of the [Delicious QQ Beverage]. "Ahh! Sweet nectar of the Gods!"
NOTE: It's a well known fact that everyone hates seeing RP server players show up in their battlegrounds and random heroics groups. Use their foolish underestimation of you to its fullest! This is your perfect opportunity to pwn them on the damage meters, and THEN cleverly RP emote about it to really rub salt in the wound. No experience is quite as sweet as seeing the QQ in battleground chat, "OMG I AM BEING PWNED BY AN RPER!!1!!!1!!" Note the "/LOL" there at the end of the macro. It's super effective.
C. The Delicious QQ Beverage ("DQQB") Buff:
As veteran warlocks know, DQQBs are made by collecting the raw QQ energy emitted by the players of The Inferior Classes (specifically: all classes except Warlocks) when they complain about how powerful / naturally skilled / rich / debonair / good looking IRL warlocks are. You will know when you have harvested enough QQ by examining the fill meter on your QQ Extraction bar. When the line on the meter passes "Smug Satisfaction" and hits "Maniacal Cackling", you have enough to make a batch.
The DQQB buff provides +175 Influence Over Raid Loot Decisions and/or +175 Trash Talking, depending on whether you are in a PvE or PvP situation, respectively. It is absolutely imperative that you, as an EVIL warlock, keep the buff provided by chugging [Delicious QQ Beverage]s on you at all times!