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(Up to date as of March 26th)
Are you looking for a guild?
One that had every member vote Eringobragh's gnome to be a contestant in the next Miss America pageant?
One that hasn't been known to attempt to kill lord Rhyolith by gorging him on lava?
One that doesn't encourage its feathered population to see how far they can jump off of ultraxion's platform during the fight?
One that can successfully survive any and all elevator mechanics in any given dungeon?
One that does not require monty python quotes in exchange for buffs?
One that can come up with witty and intelligent commentary for recruitment posts?
Then... well... Tortured is probably not for you!
But! If you're looking for a progression raiding guild that knows how to have fun, regularly downs content and is guilty of roasting every feathered member of the raid as a source of buff food then Tortured might be what you're looking for!
Tortured is a PVE progression raiding guild which has been floating around on Skywall for the better part of 6 years now; happily beating down assortments of internet dragons, strange looking ogres, and mind controlled Guild Masters/officers whenever humanly possible.
We're a friendly guild, blending in a social; adult atmosphere with that of a raid environment. We understand that mistakes may happen, thus you won't be yelled at... Though you may have your corpse moonkin danced on repeatedly; but some might just call that an 'initiation ritual'.
We are level 25, have the largest cauldron and ye olde crab soup; and provide them every raid, and we do have the dark phoenix mount as well.As of this recruitment post: 8/8 DS25.
We currently raid on:
Monday == 5:45 - 8:45pm server
Wednesday == 5:45 - 8:45pm server
Thursday == 5:45 - 8:45pm server
Sunday == 5:45 - 8:45pm server
Ideally right now, we're looking for another person or two who is talented at making health bars go up, except in the case of our moonchicken members in which case you get bonus points if they meet an unfortunate demise.
As of March 28, 2012, we are also considering any DPS classes as long as you're an active player looking to raid.
Being geared and more or less ready to roll for said raids is a plus, but not necessarily a demand. We've got no problems with helping you with a heroic or two if you're missing that one piece of gear or whatnot.Classes we're looking for:
Paladins - Holy, Ret
Druids - Tortured needs more moonkin dancing. Or kitty dancing.
Shaman - Enh, Resto.
Mage - Fire, Arcane
Hunter -All that we ask is that you read up on the fights as they are announced, and please be fully up to date on your class mechanics.
If you're interested, please feel free to contact in-game:
Or if they're not around:
PS: Adherence to the laws of gravity are optional, and you are encouraged to experiment with defying them on certain stairwells featuring fire elementals, or any elevators present and accounted for.
PPS: Moonchickens are friends, not food.
PPPS: I enjoy using too many acronyms.
PPPPS: All new members are still required to be involved in said initiation ritual of me moonkin dancing on their corpse during any/all elevator deaths.
PPPPPS: My 'p' key just got worn out.
PPPPPPS: It only costs 25g for a movie of Zelia being smacked in the face with a rubber chicken.
Edited by Teranin on 4/1/2012 9:39 AM PDT
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